• Home
  • About
  • Around
  • Contributors
  • Applause

Daily Plate of Crazy

  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Love
    • Marriage
    • Divorce
    • Life After Divorce
  • Parenting
    • Advice
    • Babies and Kids
    • Tweens and Teens
    • College Kids
    • Single Moms
    • Older Moms
    • Dads
    • Family Dynamics
    • Money Matters
    • Work-Life
  • Health
  • Sex
  • Women’s Issues
  • Fashion & Style
    • Chaussures
    • Fashion
    • Style
    • Lingerie
    • Interiors
  • Culture
  • More
    • Art Art Art
    • Business
    • En Français
    • Entertainment
      • Mad Men
      • Mad Men Reviews
      • Real Housewives
      • Movies
      • Celebrities
      • Work of Art Reviews
    • Flash
    • Food & Recipes
    • Lifestyle
    • Morning Musing
    • Starting Over
    • Technology
    • Travel
    • Women and Money
You are here: Home / Business / Who Brings in the Bucks?

Who Brings in the Bucks?

July 18, 2013 by D. A. Wolf 4 Comments

Single income family?

Weary Working MotherI don’t know many of those. Never have. Unless you’re talking about divorced moms. Then I know too many, and it isn’t a matter of “leaning in,” but rather, “hanging on.”

Dual income family?

That’s more the norm in my universe, though it isn’t simple or without strain on the couple, the kids, and still – the bank balance.

So what about these conversations as to who is the breadwinner and how they manage? Does it really matter who brings in the bucks, if we assume that each partner is pursuing what he or she wants?

Of course, that’s a sizable assumption. Once kids come along, how many of us would consider that arrangement a luxury? Don’t most of us feel conflicted, regardless of gender? Don’t we make compromises when we become parents?

Breadwinners, Earnings Gaps

An Atlantic article on breadwinning women with lower earning husbands leads to some interesting conclusions. Whether or not I agree with them is another matter – validity, completeness, and interpretation of data always an issue.

That said, the discussion that follows in the comments leads to a conclusion that I do agree with, which I’ll get to momentarily though once again, few tread into the territory of work environments, social policy, and a lousy economy playing a role.

Essentially stating that women who earn more than their spouses experience less of an earnings gap over their careers, “How Some Women Benefit From Marrying a Man Who Makes Less Money” refers to a study of University of Chicago MBAs, followed over the course of a decade.

When she earns more than her husband, as in the case of the woman who does not marry and have children, the pay gap is smaller.

Check out the article to see the graph. It’s striking to see a visual that shows a woman’s earnings starting out lower than her male counterpart’s at the beginning of an MBA career, albeit marginally, and more striking as the disparity over the years widens – significantly.

What REALLY Causes the Gender Pay Gap?

Think there’s no gender gap for earnings? Think again. The picture in this case is certainly worth a thousand words – and more than a few thousand bucks.

This gender pay gap is attributed (by the article) to time off to care for children, taking a less demanding job (thus lower paying), or possibly working fewer hours. (Shall we mention that quality, affordable childcare remains a challenge, thus leaving few options to the working mother unless she has a partner with flexibility or an extended family to help?)

Reality Check Time!

Some say the gender pay gap has to do with women being less accustomed to negotiating starting salaries and pay raises. I find that to be valid. Many attribute the gender pay gap to years of reduced hours or time off entirely while raising children. That one is also hard to dispute. Women are re-entering the game from “behind,” if you will, or hovering at best – with their hands full.

But what about the reduced hours assumption? Let’s talk about that one.

MBA Hours, Professional Work Week, and Perception as Reality

Not noted in the article is something I will bring up from my own corporate experience. Working fewer hours may not mean cutting back from 40 hours/week to 20 or 25; those opportunities are few and far between.

Typical MBA careers more likely involve both men and women working 60-hour weeks (and considerably more), certainly in the first years following completion of the degree. And if you change jobs after a few years, which is certainly common? You’re proving yourself again, which generally involves many hours on the job – including networking and face time hours, even if it means drinks after the sales meeting or a round of golf with the new clients.

These women with their theoretical cutback in hours may be going from 60 or 70 hours/week to 50, or skipping the professional socializing that is expected. In my opinion, lesser visibility and perceived lesser focus may impact performance assessments and opportunities, which impact earnings.

Couple with BabyFlexibility, Childcare

And what if employers offered real flexibility? What would that mean?

That mention of childcare? Huge.

What if our society offered flexibility, rather than leaving it to the profits, policies, and particulars of individual employers?

What if child care options extended beyond the school day and were affordable? What if child care options extended through middle school – or until kids hit age 12? Shouldn’t we address the fact that childcare expenses don’t stop at age 5?

What if these options were available to freelancers and contractors, sometimes euphemistically referred to as “portfolio workers?” Not sure who I mean? Try this: those who may also possess credentials and experience, but find that piece-work projects and pay are the best they can do when juggling family obligations.

Do we dismiss these parenting concerns for whomever holds the primary caregiver role, in the presumptive uninterrupted focus expected on the job? Do we acknowledge the stressing and scrambling for assistance when the sitter doesn’t show or a child is sick, and we eat “vacation” days as a result?

Real Life: More Data, More Detail?

What we don’t know from the Atlantic article is a good deal. For example, missing details include:

  • age and ethnicity
  • number of children
  • metropolitan area
  • industry segments / positions of each spouse

The study referenced by the article follows couples over the course of ten years.

And the incidents of divorce and their impacts?

We know there had to be some. The data relative to earnings and childcare arrangements might prove interesting, no?

Real Life: Family Means Compromise

Still, one comment that caught my attention is this:

If you’re going to have a family, one or the other has to be willing to sacrifice their career to at least a certain extent. Which spouse does it may not particularly matter, but someone has to.

And that’s the conclusion that I would draw as well, except to say that ideally, one parent doesn’t have to live the 60 or 70-hour work week while the other puts in 40 hours. Wouldn’t it be lovely if “flexibility” were an actual option, and both could put in 30 or 35 hours?

What about working partially from a home office and not losing footing or reputation that results in fewer promotions, smaller pay raises if any, and greater likelihood of being axed in times of restructure? What about affordable access to childcare, health care, and other common sense services if you’re a contractor, freelancer, or “portfolio worker?”

Oh right. Wrong country for that…

 

You May Also Enjoy

  • Who’s the Boss?
  • Baking Bread or Winning It?
  • Childcare Expenses Don’t Stop at Age 5
  • You “Shoes,” You Lose?

 

FacebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinmailFacebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinmail

Filed Under: Business, Parenting, Women and Money, Women's Issues, Work-Life Tagged With: careers, family, gender roles, pay gap, women and money, work life balance

Comments

  1. Shelley says

    July 19, 2013 at 6:31 am

    For most of the time I made more money that each of my three husbands. In the last six years, during which I’ve been retired, Bill has paid to run the house and for most of our travel. That will likely change when I draw a pension at 60 and we’ll probably split the bills more evenly, but you’re not talking about retirement, you’re talking about work and family. Neither H1 nor H2 took a great deal of notice about my paycheck unless it was to grumble a little. Housework? Cooking? Child care (of his son)? That’s all woman’s work. H2 did contribute to housework, but disappeared most weekends to go deer / bird / hog hunting with his boss and other male friends. I had the impression that modern life had changed a bit but I’m guessing this economy has caused attitudes to revert a bit. Shame about that.

    Reply
  2. Leslie in Portland, Oregon says

    July 20, 2013 at 1:13 am

    I really appreciate your writing about these career/family issues, over and over, and I hope you keep it up, for these are among the most important questions for this country to address. When I struggled mightily with these challenges 14-33 years ago, I was cheered by the belief that certainly our society would have advanced enough by the time my children became parents that they would not face the same challenges. That I was dead wrong is, at best, a travesty.

    Reply
  3. Scott Behson says

    January 14, 2014 at 9:36 pm

    Hi DA-
    Good article. As someone who has studied the “wage gap” in detail, I have this to say. While it is true that 98% or so of the gap can be attributed to “gender neutral” things like hours, travel, hazardous work, career interruptions, etc., it is also true that most of these “gender neutral” decisions are triggered (even in an egalitarian dual-career couple) so that the woman is made primarily responsible for childcare. This traps women into falling behind in careers and men in falling behind at home- more flexible and humane workplace expectations would do a lot to free both men and women from restrictive roles. Monique Valcour has written extensively on this topic, I recommend her HBR articles on this.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Wall Street Women Lean In, Stay At Home Dads Help Wives’ Careers — The Good Men Project says:
    December 8, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    […] Sure, the fact that this is a “first world problem,” or more specifically, an elite, high-end challenge, is undeniable. The article is clear on that. But the finance industry is certainly one in which women are typically shut out at a certain point, as motherhood duties clash with long hours. Tough decisions have to be made – who brings in the bucks and who raises the kids. […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

 

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Follow Us

FacebooktwitterrssinstagramFacebooktwitterrssinstagram

Search Daily Plate of Crazy

Subscribe for Your Daily Serving

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Categories

Archives

Recent Comments

  • Anonymous on Does Effort Matter If You Don’t Get Results?
  • D. A. Wolf on Mantras
  • D. A. Wolf on Over 50, Unemployed, Depressed and Powerless
  • Marty on When You Marry a Loner
  • Tina on Would You Brag About Your Age?
  • Sal on Over 50, Unemployed, Depressed and Powerless
  • Open More Doors If You Want More Skills - 3 Plus International on Open More Doors If You Want More Skills
  • Leonora C on Over 50, Unemployed, Depressed and Powerless
  • Maree on Mantras
  • kate on DON’T Call Me Dear!
  • Stephanie on Narcissism. Manipulation. Keeping Score.
  • S on When a Couple Wants Different Things

The Makeover Series

Daily Plate of Crazy: The Makeover Series

Essays From Guest Writers

Daily Plate of Crazy: Essay Series

Daily Reads

Daily Plate of Crazy Blogroll

Follow

Follow

Notices

All content on this site, DailyPlateOfCrazy.com, is copyrighted by D. A. Wolf unless copyright is otherwise attributed to guest writers. Do not use, borrow, repost or create derivative works without permission.

© D. A. Wolf 2009-2025. All Rights Reserved.

Parlez-vous francais?

Daily Plate of Crazy: En Français

© D. A. Wolf 2009-2025
All Rights Reserved

Daily Plate of Crazy ™

Privacy Notice

Popular This Month

  • 50 Years old and Starting Over
  • Best Places to Live When You're Over 50 and Reinventing
  • When the Person You Love Is Emotionally Unavailable
  • When a Couple Wants Different Things
  • How to Comfort Someone Who Is Stressed

Food for Thought

  • Why I Choose to Think Like a Man
  • When You Marry a Loner
  • Emotionally Needy Parents
  • Sex vs. Lovemaking: Why Are We So Confused?
  • Think Looks Don't Pay?
  • Rebranding Mediocrity: Why Good Enough Isn't Good Enough

Copyright © 2025 · Metro Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

This site uses cookies for the best browsing experience. By continuing to use this site, you accept our Cookie Policy.
Cookie SettingsACCEPT
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT