Are you waiting and watching for the Supreme Court proceedings on marriage equality – specifically, hearing arguments on banning California’s Proposition 8?
Are you following CNN or some other news source, leaning strongly one way or another – in principle, or because it concerns you, your family, your friends?
I am wary of marriage in general, believing we should take our time and set our expectations in reasonable fashion. I consider marriage both serious and sacred. But I do not see it solely as the right of heterosexuals.
I do not see the sense in denying same-sex couples the respect and benefits of legal marriage.
Like many, I’ve been married and divorced. Marriage is not the same as living together, and we cannot always predict the way a marriage will go, no matter how good it “looks on paper.”
But for those who want their “big day” and a life with the one they choose as a partner, with all the rights and responsibilities that come with it, I believe same sex couples should have the same option to create a legally recognized family unit as a man and woman.
Perhaps like you – I wait, I watch, I read – as arguments are heard and the Supreme Court decides on Proposition 8, which banned same sex marriage in California, after legalizing it. From the CNN site, for those who may need more information:
Today’s oral arguments will focus on Proposition 8, a ballot initiative that was approved by California voters in a 52-48% vote in November 2008. The vote happened less than six months after the state Supreme Court ruled marriage was a fundamental right that must be extended to same-sex couples.
Its approval immediately ended same-sex marriages in the state, but opponents of the measure challenged it in court and have succeeded in convincing federal judges at the district and appellate levels to find the ban unconstitutional.
The second case to be heard deals with DOMA, the Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as between a man and a woman. You may have read yesterday that three senators are no longer supporting this act which amounts to a federal ban on gay marriage.
Same-sex marriage is currently legal in nine states. (Just one more example of how confusing it is for marriage or divorce to fall under state-specific law?)
For more on these landmark cases, no doubt contentious issues for many, visit CNN’s coverage here.
Your thoughts? Is this issue cut and dry for you? Have you “evolved” in your thinking, as some like to phrase it?
© D. A. Wolf
Kristen @ Motherese says
Just saw this on Twitter via @BoredMommy: “Same sex couples should have the same right to get married, eventually loathe their spouses, and divorce like the rest of us.” I agree with the first part of the statement, but wouldn’t wish the 2nd or 3rd parts on anyone, regardless of sexual orientation. 😉
BigLittleWolf says
I hear you on that one, Kristen. Then again, those are “human” issues of judgment, character, a bit of luck, communication (and other) skills… not a matter of gender. And also, issues in a litigious society.
Come to think of it, the Wedding Industry and the Divorce Industry should both be in favor of same-sex marriage, from a revenue standpoint.
Karen says
I read recently of an alehouse in London, a meeting place for gay men at the time. Apparently, one of this alehouse’s features was a chapel in which gay marriage (male only, alas) could take place. The year: 1701.
This issue has been with us a lot longer than it’s been in the news, and it’s not going away any time soon. People–male, female, transgendered, whatever–have the absolute right to pledge themselves to one another in marriage. I don’t even see why this is an issue.
Tara R. says
I truly hope the SCOTUS rules for marriage equality. There should be no question that the right to wed who you want should be extended to everyone regardless of their sexual orientation.
teamgloria says
everyone has the right to walk around a shop/store/emporium with a laser gun pointing at items they desperately need for a new life to make a wedding list and subject their friends to an agonizing evening watching one’s uncles dance to YMCA.
non?
😉
BigLittleWolf says
Just smiling, tg… All that Wedgewood and Baccarat…
Personally, I loved when Carrie Bradshaw, as a single, decided she deserved some of the spoils of traditional “life events.” (Naturally, there were shoes involved…)
batticus says
My comment is slightly off-topic but as someone who lives outside your country, it amazes me that you (as a country) are even discussing these matters, let alone considering reversing obviously progressive legal decisions (same-sex civil unions, abortion, etc). I waited before posting a link to this other story since it seemed so ridiculous that I thought it might have been a hoax, unfortunately it seems to be a real story which is a sad reflection of misguided sexual hangups that some parents have and how they end up promoting the same ignorance they grew up with. The story is about parents that complained about the use of the word vagina in a sex-ed class. The class was taught by a science teacher (early reports were that the health teacher was uncomfortable teaching the class) and probably the most shocking part of this is that these are grade 10 students being protected from the word! This was covered in grade 7 when I was a kid (*cough* 1970’s) and I remember there were parent-teacher meetings back then and the parents (including mine) supported honest sex-ed.
For my kids, the introduction of sexual reproduction occurred even earlier in their studies with gradual introduction via science birds and bees examples as early as grade 2-3. I can’t imagine this being an issue for grade 10 students where I live and I think this is the root of the problem in the US, that there is this repressing of sex, alcohol, and violence in the hope that if you don’t talk about it, it won’t be a problem. The highest rate of teen pregnancy, (IMO silly) drinking age of 21 when one can be a soldier at 18(?), and extreme gun violence is the result.
article link in Huff Post
Back to the topic at hand, most secular countries accept that same-sex civil unions (i.e., city hall marriage certificate) as an equality right and that churches are allowed to recognize whatever definition they want for church weddings; hopefully this becomes federal law soon in the US and you can move on to real issues affecting your country and not worry about what happens in the bedrooms of the nation.
BigLittleWolf says
I quite agree, Batticus. It’s not like we don’t have “real issues” to deal with…
Wolf Pascoe says
Re Kristen’s comment: As Chris Rock said (humorously, I think) “If you want to stop gay sex, let ’em get married.”
BigLittleWolf says
Chortling, Wolf!