The women typically wear skirts and the men, if there are any, wear button down shirts. They carry portfolios or an armload of brochures. I suppose they could have been canvasing for a political candidate, but I knew better.
I had seen them in the neighborhood a few days earlier, and I suspected it was only a matter of time before they came knocking on my door.
And they did.
It seems to occur once every two years or so, and I wonder why and how they consider it to be acceptable – selling God, door to door.
Their version of God, knocking repeatedly, then talking, even if I don’t let them in.
And only when I raise my voice and insist, an edge of rudeness creeping into my tone, do they disappear with a polite thank you. Simply stated, I do not want God peddled over my threshold, however bright and chipper the faces, however well-intentioned their message.
I understand that some religious organizations feel compelled to convert others. We have only to look to the Republican presidential candidate and his mission in France many years ago, targeted at bringing his faith to a wider audience.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for God – and gods – for whomever they provide solace and inspiration. But more than that, I believe in doing good – and living kindly, in community, with compassion.
I do not need God in my political platform. I do not need anyone trying to enter my home – which is also my place of business – and interrupting my morning, my afternoon, or my evening with an attempt to sell a higher power to my household. Let’s leave God to individual choice, and door to door salesmanship to memories of the Fuller Brush Man.
Ah, yes. Those who presume to think that maybe you haven’t thought this religion thing through, or if you have, their presumptions and conclusions are better than yours.
They want to have a discussion, there on the doorstep, or even better, inside the house. It is obvious from the start that we have little on common on which to base such a discussion. Which would only devolve to each of us resorting to our beliefs anyway.
Why even start? Why do they bother?
Agreed. 110%.
Yes! I find it offensive when people try to push me in their direction. I am an adult – I can make my own choices.
I agree completely, Carol.
People will learn so much more about God by observing a life lived by a person who values others: be kind, be giving, be non-judgmental and loving. The Bible says to esteem others as better than yourself. When you do this, you will treat the homeless person with love and compassion. You will understand that there is evil in the world but no one is beyond hope. I have tried to be kind to the people who come to my door. I tell them that I have a church home but like robots, they continue as though they don’t hear me. So I say, God bless you, and close the door.
Wonderful response, Old Married Lady!
Amen! When the kids were little, we had lots of religion-peddlars coming to the door. The kids would announce, “the _____ are here! ” and then we’d line up along the wall near the door so they couldn’t see we were home! We did this because they were relentless and wouldn’t take a polite, or as you said, even borderline rude refusal of their brand of religion.
No peddling religion to me – in politics, on TV, and certainly not at my door. I’ll buy cookies from Girl Scouts who show up at my door, but not religion.
One summer during college I worked at Yellowstone National Park. Many of the other employees were there with a large group organized by Campus Crusade for Christ. I became close friends with many of them and participated in a lot of their activities – they were wonderful people. As I recall, they were each supposed to “witness” to some specified number of people throughout the summer, and it was a part of the program I never could get on board with. Acceptance of a god or savior is a long and involved process, not something that happens on one’s doorstep. I quite agree with Old Married Lady that by example is the best way to preach your faith.
Nevertheless, because I got to know these people personally I came to see them differently from the door knockers that we’ve all encountered. I came to understand that they are passionate about their faith, truly believe that it is the right and only way, and want to share that with as many people as possible. In a very strange way it is only because they care so much that they are willing to intrude upon so many people’s lives. While I still believe that this breed of evangelism is in poor form from an etiquette perspective, because of that summer at Yellowstone I am able to view it with a greater degree of tolerance.
I find it annoying when people knock on my door to sell me their religion (or magazines). I sometimes wonder about the people who come to the door. For some, I believe that it is a requirement of their church, so they MUST do it. I don’t think they are given the option of saying no. They always arrive in twos, so they are being held accountable to another person. They are given a script and taught how to respond to anything you might say. I usually politely send them away.
The only soliciting I like to see at my front door are Girl Scouts selling cookies.
I lived in Salt Lake City for four years and can say generally that living next door to Mormons is not too bad; it’s better than, say, the IRA, a friend once remarked. I found the magic solution to missionaries: answer the door with wet hair in your bathrobe. They can’t run away fast enough, poor kids. We tend to get more Jehovah’s Witnesses here.
As to politics and religion, I’ve come to realise that the US has it’s own very special definition when speaking of ‘separation of church and state’. Funny that here in Britain where the monarch is the head of the Church of England, politics and religion don’t seem to be glued together (not that I pay much attention to either – politics or religion). Britain is pretty secular these days… I don’t think being Mormon should bar Romney from office, just as being Catholic didn’t end up barring Kennedy. I just wish the whole religion thing had about the same importance attached as, say, eye colour. Faint chance, eh?
You know, Shelley, I have friends of all faiths and always have. I have friends of “no” faith in particular, and always have. For me, it comes down to individuals and how they live their lives. Their traditions and beliefs may be dissimilar to mine, but their values, words, and actions must be respectful, tolerant, and at the very least – do no harm.
Years ago, I worked in Paris in an international environment with two other women – one from the Middle East and one from South America. We were of three different faiths, three dramatically different cultures, and the genuine warmth and respect among us was a microcosm of like tolerance and openness elsewhere in the organization. I’ve never forgotten that time. It is possible. But boundaries are important for it to work. I fear that in this country, we’ve forgotten the essential importance of those boundaries which, in part, protect our freedoms.
To me – it’s a no-brainer. One’s religion is immaterial, and is a personal matter. Perhaps not quite like eye color, as I believe it shapes us in more significant ways, but nonetheless, it needn’t divide us. If only…
We have certainly lost the idea of respectful boundaries. This brought to mind the subject of Facebook, where I have recently had to make the decision whether to de-friend people who I would really like to be on good terms with, but do not like having their political activism interjected into my life. That is particularly difficult here in Texas, where it is automatically assumed that everyone leans to the right.
Even businesses get into the act. A sporting venue I attend goes overboard with the God, Homeland Patriotism, and political leanings, and they carry that into their Facebook messaging, which they use to keep fans updated on events. I have already decided I don’t need to be that closely connected, and they may eventually drive me away entirely.
A whole other (fascinating, challenging) set of issues, Robert. Very worthy of discussing.
We frequently have these kind of visitors at our door, living as we do in a largely evangelical community. I used to do what my mom did when I was little: answer the door, let them know that we’ve made up our minds about these issues, and wish them well. Now I just don’t answer the door.
I’m with Robin: if it’s not a Girl Scout peddling thin mints or my neighbor asking to borrow an egg, I don’t really want to open my door. (And it feels kind of sad to write that.)
It does seem sad, Kristen. But I sense that’s where many of us find ourselves.
Answer the door with wet hair and a bathrobe is a good solution, as is God bless you as you close the door. I think it’s an antiquated system the Mormons use – from the late 1800’s when going door to door was a sociable, normal way of interacting with your neighbors. Also from a time when evangelists would travel town to town preaching their version of God and gospel. I think they’re well intended, but yes, it’s patronizing and intrusive and I believe it does more harm than good.
I’m not certain precisely which evangelicals these were, Barb, and I’m glad you raise the issue of another time (and approach to community) when going door to door as a neighbor, even without a “mission” of any sort, was much more the norm. I recall that sort of fluidity and openness in my childhood. I have felt it since, in certain areas of Europe. I’m saddened that in so many communities we no longer open our doors, for any number of reasons.
As I think through the many aspects of this situation that get under my skin, one has to do with simple good manners. If I say “no thank you” or “I’m not interested, but thank you” then that should suffice. My annoyance is, in part, that it never does. Yes, to me, it feels not only intrusive, but bordering on disrespectful – to me, and my beliefs.
Those evangelicals and revivals that were so prevalent in 1800’s : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Great_Awakening
Upstate New York (where Mormonism started in 1800s) was even referred to as the burned over district because of the over abundance of revivalist and evangelicals that criss-crossed the region.
I, too, lived in Utah for a while so studied up a bit on the predominant religion that surrounded me when there.
A smile 🙂 Jehovah’s Witnesses do that a lot in Paris, although thanks to the multiple digicode barriers of my building it’s a long time that I didn’t had the pleasure to tell them that God in fact doesn’t exist.
But that is precisely the main point for me: It’s the inalienable right for anyone to deny the existence of God and many so called modern societies (as the American one) don’t allow that. The absolute right that I just claimed comes directly from this very wise statement of Euclide himself: “All what is asserted without proof can be denied without proof”. This very same right, some other people simply call it the “freedom of conscience” and sincerely whatever you call it, I have hard time to think of a more fundamental right.
But, voilà, may I say here that I would feel totally denied in this right if I were to live in USA. What would be my right to deny the existence of God in a country where I have every day in my hands currencies labelled with “In God we trust” ? What would be the same right if having to testify on anything in court I had to rise my right hand while my left hand have to be lying upon a Bible, which is nothing more to me than the legends of Greek mythologies?
And what were the rights of American citizen when in the eight years of G.W Bush tenancy as president, all of their taxes money used for sex education of teenagers were spent exclusively in programs of “Abstinence Only Sex Education” entirely based on religious assumptions, all of this ending with this catastrophic result that USA is from far the developed country having the highest rate of teenage pregnancy (53/1000 in USA while European countries are around 10/1000).
In short, in a country where God is sold everywhere, is it so surprising that it should be sold at the threshold of your door? 🙂
It is not only disrespectful to you and your beliefs, but to the subject matter itself, through the assumption that it takes little more than a casual conversation, and perhaps a visit to their church, to make you a convert.
I have the same attitude toward political signs at polling places, where the assumption is that even though I made a specific, out-of-my-way effort to get there, I haven’t actually studied the candidates. “Oh look, that candidate has nice signs, I think I’ll vote for him”! It strikes me as extremely disprectful of the electorate and the importance of the process.
Oh Robert, These are such important conversations and we are, often, as François suggests in his comment, unable to broach honestly. To do so is perceived as being heresy – or un-American. To me, what’s more American than respecting separation of church and state? What’s more American than respecting someone’s freedom of choice?
It’s almost always converts. My theory is that you eradicate any lingering doubts you have by having more people believe what you believe. It further supports your own conversion and that you’ve made the right choice. As for me, I am so convinced in my personal beliefs I always say that fifty percent of the time I’m right and fifty percent of the time you’re wrong.
I’m still an atheist, thank God.
-Luis Bunuel (1900 – 1983)
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
-Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 – 1959)
It is the final proof of God’s omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-Peter De Vries, “The Mackerel Plaza,” 1958
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-Voltaire (1694 – 1778)
I have a friend who, when opening the door and seeing the obvious, invites them in. He agrees to look at their literature and then invites them to come back in a week to debate their beliefs with his. They never return.
Completely agree.
But there was one time…just one…that I was glad for that knock.
http://naptimewriting.wordpress.com/2010/03/16/thank-you-jehovahs-witnesses/
I want the Fuller brush man back.
You would think having a mezuzah on my door would dissuade the Jesus freaks and Jehovah Witness but they usually leave their literature and I don’t answer my door ever without asking who it is. And usually I am saying, “Not interested” and they go away.
🙂 They just keep talking through the door here… *sigh*
BLW,
Agreed. I love how you handle this topic delicately, but without compromising the spirit of your point. Equally insightful discussion in the comments.
Thank you.
It’s a tough topic, Rudri. Anything that touches on faith or organized religion. I think whatever we believe should be treated with respect. That means boundaries and also openness. Not so easy.