Is it love? Is it money? Is it just a day or two to yourself? Is it something harder to generalize, impossible to articulate, or too private to admit to?
Come on. Who doesn’t dream? Who doesn’t close her eyes, and imagine life differently?
So what do you yearn for? And if you were able to actually achieve it, what then? Would you savor it, sit back on your laurels, or spin yourself another dream?
Ever wish for something – and when you got it – it wasn’t what you expected?
If only I could lose the weight, if only I could fund my business idea, if only I could meet a great guy, if only I had a different boss, the right agent, a supportive family…
Who hasn’t crafted a scenario of what ifs, if onlys, and “someday when” to help make it through tough times? Or, to be a softened and palatable version of making excuses?
Wanting What We Don’t Have
It’s part of the human condition – to strive, to work toward something, to dream, to want. Envy is also part of our contemporary experience, whether it’s the easier life of the guy next door, the family on television, the woman at the gym who gets time alone to exercise, as she smiles at her nanny who walks off with her child in tow.
Some of us are content with what we have; many of us want what we don’t have. I would guess that the majority of us experience both, in some measure. But do we ever know the true cost, the trade-offs made for the appearance of success or happiness?
I’ve taken my share of hits, and so have you. But there are also surprises, pleasures, moments that make an impression. My expectations of a life – my life – are this. These ups and downs.
But always, dreaming. Looking forward. Reconfiguring the future.
As adults, we temper our ambitions with reality, especially as we rack up defeats, or accept the constraints of events beyond our control. We spin smaller dreams, or fewer; at times we surrender them entirely, telling ourselves it will be alright. And sometimes we get exactly what we wished for – and it isn’t all it was cracked up to be.
When my solo parenting gig comes to an end, will the quiet push me over the edge? Will the alone time I have craved be dreadful, or offer up the freedom I’ve longed for these past years?
Recently, I’ve made dating a higher priority. The investment in time has been significant; it comes out of my daily writing, and out of my night’s sleep. Will that time be worth it?
Whatever comes next, I will readjust priorities as one balancing act gives way to another which is as yet unknown; one in which my careful wishing may shift, and anything is possible. Perhaps disappointments. Perhaps, joy.
- What do you wish for?
- What wishes do you work for?
- When you achieve them, are you satisfied?
- Sometimes, does your reality bite?
- At others, is the dream actualized far more than you ever imagined?