Is it love? Is it money? Is it just a day or two to yourself? Is it something harder to generalize, impossible to articulate, or too private to admit to?
Do you have a foolish little dream – or a glitzy big one – something from childhood – shelved and dusted off, shelved again, only to persist?
Come on. Who doesn’t dream? Who doesn’t close her eyes, and imagine life differently?
So what do you yearn for? And if you were able to actually achieve it, what then? Would you savor it, sit back on your laurels, or spin yourself another dream?
Ever wish for something – and when you got it – it wasn’t what you expected?
If Only
If only I could lose the weight, if only I could fund my business idea, if only I could meet a great guy, if only I had a different boss, the right agent, a supportive family…
Who hasn’t crafted a scenario of what ifs, if onlys, and “someday when” to help make it through tough times? Or, to be a softened and palatable version of making excuses?
Wanting What We Don’t Have
It’s part of the human condition – to strive, to work toward something, to dream, to want. Envy is also part of our contemporary experience, whether it’s the easier life of the guy next door, the family on television, the woman at the gym who gets time alone to exercise, as she smiles at her nanny who walks off with her child in tow.
Some of us are content with what we have; many of us want what we don’t have. I would guess that the majority of us experience both, in some measure. But do we ever know the true cost, the trade-offs made for the appearance of success or happiness?
Realistic Expectations
I’ve taken my share of hits, and so have you. But there are also surprises, pleasures, moments that make an impression. My expectations of a life – my life – are this. These ups and downs.
But always, dreaming. Looking forward. Reconfiguring the future.
As adults, we temper our ambitions with reality, especially as we rack up defeats, or accept the constraints of events beyond our control. We spin smaller dreams, or fewer; at times we surrender them entirely, telling ourselves it will be alright. And sometimes we get exactly what we wished for – and it isn’t all it was cracked up to be.
Balancing Act
When my solo parenting gig comes to an end, will the quiet push me over the edge? Will the alone time I have craved be dreadful, or offer up the freedom I’ve longed for these past years?
Recently, I’ve made dating a higher priority. The investment in time has been significant; it comes out of my daily writing, and out of my night’s sleep. Will that time be worth it?
Whatever comes next, I will readjust priorities as one balancing act gives way to another which is as yet unknown; one in which my careful wishing may shift, and anything is possible. Perhaps disappointments. Perhaps, joy.
- What do you wish for?
- What wishes do you work for?
- When you achieve them, are you satisfied?
- Sometimes, does your reality bite?
- At others, is the dream actualized far more than you ever imagined?
What do you wish for? More happy discoveries like this blog.
What wishes do you work for? Better quality time with Suzy, family and friends. Better sound on my sax, clarinet, and flute; that’s not asking for too much is it?
When you achieve them, are you satisfied? Yes, in those brief moments when I actually get close to actualizing these dreams.
Sometimes, does your reality bite? When I crash and burn or the effort results in something way less than I’d hoped. Gawd, I sound like that to a family member or in a concert. Just shoot me now!
At others, is the dream actualized far more than you ever imagined? Rarely, or not that I can tell. Doesn’t mean that I don’t keep trying.
Glad this little reading-writing spot is a happy discovery! And oh, for more men who would wish to have quality time with spouse and family, not to mention in creative pursuits.
I’m constantly fussing with how it all could be different–I may end up in the Fresno Home for the Thoughtful. I’ve been playing with the New Yorker Therapy Drawings. They’re actually pretty helpful.
In general, I think the most important thing is to continue to reassess. The closer one gets, the more we realize what the actuality of a dream might cost. Sometimes, the wish fades away. Sometimes, it’s just the motivation we need to keep persisting. The key is to recognize which wishes are really worth granting for ourselves!