The expression “there’s no place like home” surely comes into play for our children after a time away, after difficult periods, after challenges that take the air out of their tires – even a little – and they find themselves at last, coming home.
“There’s no place like home” is reflected in their comfort, their laughter, and their carefree commotion – spilling over into every room.
“There’s no place like home” feels most real, to me, when children are close at hand and relaxed; when they’re safe and sound.
My college student was returning home late last night. I was miffed when I saw that air traffic was delayed, I tracked his flight while it was in process, and I exhaled when he arrived. Of course, when I saw his face and put my arms around him – that was heaven.
What parent doesn’t want their children home – especially at the holidays – able to enjoy the individuals they are becoming, and still share in their pleasures and their memories?
This is a difficult time of year for many, and with good reason. We recall other years when things were different – more security, more love, more family. We recall those we’ve lost and we miss them. Perhaps we are alone, and it’s even more painful at the holidays. Perhaps we think of our younger selves, and we grieve a little in spite of our best intentions.
Having spent holidays alone, I am even more grateful for these next days – both sons are sleeping peacefully as I write this. At this moment, my parental self is completely content.
This isn’t a sensation of excitement – it’s not like the thrill of a child’s first steps or first words, his first prize in the spelling bee or first home run. This is quieter, easier, and somehow more private. I can see the young men I have been raising – the way they own themselves, the way they feel comforted and happy to be home. And I’m proud to be part of their lives.
For now, as a family, we’re all safe and sound. I cannot think of a better gift than this feeling, and this reality: home is genuinely “home” again.
Just lovely BLW. Glad you are in the moment and have the awareness to appreciate it. Reading your last line made me tear up in happiness.
Thank you Rudri – and Glacel. Wishing you both wonderful holidays!
Aw, what a heart warmer. Spending time with family on holidays or on any occasion that everyone is in the same room is priceless. To me, that’s also enough as a Christmas present.
I’m glad your college son arrived safe and sound. Happy Holidays to you and the boys 🙂
This really hit home for me, BLW ( pun intended :). I’ve felt like I’ve been in limbo for so long, having been away from my family for over 16 years. My mom’s no longer in my childhood home in Malaysia so when I visit the apartment she shares with my grandma, I feel like a guest.
I also don’t really like the house we’re in currently despite its ideal location, so it’s never felt like home to me even when I have the people I love with me. There’s something very unsettling about not feeling rooted. And during the holidays, I feel that more so now that we don’t even have our own family nearby with whom to spend the holidays. Growing up with a large extended family, trying to make something special with just the three of us is harder than I thought. And sometimes depressing.
I hope I will be where you are someday, where I will feel rooted, and so will my children. And it would be wonderful when we could all instantly recognize the comfort and security of home when we’re there.
I know what you mean Justine – about a house versus a home, and also feeling unrooted. It took years before this jammed little house felt like home to my boys. That’s part of why I’ve fought so hard to hang on to it, and why I struggle with whether or not I’ll stay here when my younger son flies the nest. I want them to feel like they have a “home” to come home to. But I, myself, feel very rootless. Not quite home anywhere. I think that’s something you understand well – being between cultures, as I am in my own way.
And when we recall other types of holidays as you do, it’s harder. We want that for our kids. My holidays growing up were more like yours. We always traveled to see grandparents and cousins and stayed for a week or 10 days. Non-stop food, drink, conversation, visiting around the hearth. A feeling of family and belonging.
I had that again, for awhile, when married and my boys were younger. Every other year we would haul overseas and spend the holidays with my ex’s family. They were wonderful. And for my boys it meant days and nights of grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, visiting, and plenty of playtime in a much more “traditional” and family-friendly culture.
They don’t have that any more. Nor do I, for that matter. And I miss it dreadfully. But for now, at this stage, feeling “home” in a certain moment and knowing the people you love most are well – that’s as good as it gets.
I hope you have a wonderful time with your boys. Eat, sleep, and be merry.
Your reflection is particularly bittersweet for me today. This year will be the first of my soon-to-be-34 that I won’t be spending Christmas with my parents in the home where I grew up. Technically, it is my fault – or my OB’s fault, depending on how you look at it – but I am still feeling a little bit sorry for myself. Luckily, I will still be surrounded by Husband and my own two boys. Perhaps this is the year that the definition of “home” gets shifted a few hundred miles west.
I’m sorry you won’t be with your parents this year, Kristen. But perhaps you can begin some new traditions with all your boys – including a family phone call or SKYPE visit, perhaps? Wishing you a wonderful holiday, too! xoxo
Don’t forget to click your ruby slippers (in your case, French designer high heels) before you say “There’s no place like home” and any other wishes for the new year. Joyeux Noël!
We’ve yet to celebrate Christmas in our own home. We always travel to our parents’ current homes (neither of which are the houses we grew up in). I often find myself wondering what kind of Christmas we’ll make for ourselves when our home is the destination. I know it will more than likely be bittersweet, with our parents being unable to host Christmas for some reason, but I know I’ll take comfort in having the “center” be at our house, in our home.
Sounds lovely. Enjoy.
Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Michele
Thank you – and you, too, Michele!
Aww, honey, I’m so glad! I don’t have to tell you to have a merry Christmas, do I? You’re well on your way!