He paged through the test results from five weeks ago. Didn’t say much. There was a flicker of a raised eyebrow. I interrupted his concentration: “She said everything was normal.” He nodded, then shook his head for a moment at something, then turned back to me.
He’s an older man. His face is a little rosy. He has a relaxed manner and a smile that comes easily.
He asked me to tell him exactly why I was there, and I mentioned the back pain, the leg pain, and how it was worsening. How it is present from the moment I wake until the moment I sleep. How long it has been going on. I described the reading I had done, and he listened. I told him of one condition I’d researched. It describes my pain, to a T. Yet I have none of the risk factors.
“Apparently there’s a test,” I said.
He reached down and took my feet. He pushed one spot on each, and asked if it hurt.
“No,” I said.
He moved his fingers around gently, palpating several areas on my feet, then closer to my ankles.
He looked up and smiled.
“You don’t have to worry about that. I’ve just done my test. That isn’t what’s wrong.”
From the expression on his face alone, I felt relieved. Not to mention with healing hands actually feeling, listening, doing a job which clearly was familiar to them. Everything about his manner was reassuring. This was night and day from the last experience I had in a doctor’s office.
He asked if he could touch my back, and after washing his hands, apologized that they would be cold. He pushed on several spots, and I startled from the pain.
Then we talked. I had come prepared with a list of questions, and he answered them all. Including the next steps.
“We’re going to take blood for some other possibilities,” he said. “Including some vitamin deficiencies.”
I asked about the treatment he had prescribed last winter – shots – which have made a remarkable difference. Shots which the other doctor scoffed at, and indicated I had no need for. He shook his head again.
“You’re low normal with the shots,” he said. “You need them.”
I took a deep breath. I know the difference between a physician who instills confidence, and one who leaves you feeling dismissed. Or worse, like an idiot.
Next steps? I have some idea of what they are. I also have a referral for another doctor when this one retires, this man whose voice, manner, hands, and experience all reassure me – and I imagine, reassure his other patients as well. For now, I wait. And I think about another New York Times article I read, dealing with barriers between doctor and patient in special circumstances, and the importance of physical contact.
After I got home yesterday, I went through the five pages of detailed test results I had requested from the other physician. The one who said “You’re fine. Everything’s normal.” I know enough to interpret a few basics on a lab report. There was an entire section of line items clearly marked “L” for low. Since when does that equate to “N” for normal?
I’ve been on the receiving end of enormous caring and expertise. I’ve also been on the receiving end of dismissive incompetence. I am not a litigious person. I believe it worsens our society as a whole. In the name of so-called justice, we are often acting out vengeance, or even looking to play the system.
But the delay has cost me. In pain. In dollars.
For now, I’ll focus on the positive. One more thing has been eliminated. Some potential vitamin deficiencies will be looked at, and hopefully addressed.
As for my back and legs, knowing the next steps is a little frightening. But they will yield answers. And in my gut, I believe those answers will be good. Helpful. A solution, finally.
Healing hands. Hallelujah.
I wish you the best of luck with finding a cure for your chronic pain. And, isn’t it frustrating to be told that you’re “normal” when you know your body and clearly something is wrong. I have had that experience more times than I can count.
Good doctors are out there though. I hope you find one that will help.
Motrin and a heating pad work wonders, but they don’t make for the most “mobile” (or functional) lifestyle, obviously. I’m hoping we’ll get to the bottom of this, sooner rather than later. Certainly, a physician who actual does an exam makes a difference. Thank you for the good words.
I am so glad you’ve found someone you trust, regardless of the distance! I hope you feel better soon!
Today, I am getting the rare pleasure of going back for a second strep test. All because the first time they didn’t do a culture. In our ped office, they always do both a quick test AND a culture. Just to make sure.
Monday I had a sore throat. Not terrible, but since everyone around me has strep, I felt sure I had it too. Today, it is like knives. Decidedly worse. It will cost another copay, another hour of my time (with baby in tow), and it will take longer to feel better.
So, so glad to hear this – not a solution, but a step in the right direction. Really hoping you will get some relief soon, Wolf!
Hip, hip, hooray!
I’m feeling terrible today – do you think your doctor is accepting new patients in the weeks before he retires? 🙂
It took a little while to get in to see him… he’s in considerable demand at the moment. 🙂
Wow. I can’t imagine being in pain every day. Having to live with it. Having it be dismissed with an “everything’s normal” diagnosis. I hope you get the healing you need and it sounds like things are moving in the right direction.
Thanks, Susan. People live with far worse, and we all manage around what life throws at us. What’s ridiculous is the hours, weeks, months (sometimes years) it takes to get appropriate attention, and the waste of time, money, and “life” (not to mention quality of life) in the process. But I’m feeling like I’m headed in the right direction! (And Motrin works wonders… )
BLW, such a relief to hear this. Sounds like footsteps in a positive direction. Cheers to positive vibes and wellness!
I feel relief FOR you! And I’m really hoping more is on the way. I know only too well how it is to live with pain and not be able to get any answers. I also know the relief that comes from finally finding someone who understands and cares.
xo
It is wonderful to find a doctor who listens, and tries to find answers to help you deal with pain…unfortunately, the majority of doctors dismiss patients in chronic pain or they just fedd them pills to mask symptoms rather than find the problem and a cure. I am so glad you have a healer for a doctor. And good for you for being prepared. We have to be our own health advocates these days.
Can I ask whether he was a DO or MD? In some ways that makes a difference because DOs are trained in using touch to determine where aches and pains are originating while MDs are not. It’s not a bad difference, just a difference.
Interesting point. To the best of my knowledge Amber, he is an MD, not a doctor with explicit osteopathic training. I say explicit, because the fact is that 20+ years ago every doctor I ever had touched. To not touch would be unthinkable. If something hurts, you feel for abnormalities, for points of pain, or other “listening” that the well-trained fingers can sense. Sadly, with our technology advances and time stresses on physicians, many don’t touch as they used to – or so it seems. This man has been in practice for more than 35 years. A great deal of experience. Taught in a fine medical school as well, from what I understand, and to some degree, is “old school” and also, a cross-functional thinker (for lack of a better way to put it).
Isn’t that what we need? Compassionate problem solvers who use their bodies as well as their minds to diagnose?
What an answered prayer that you could get into see him again. And that you feel positive about your visit and optimistic about the future. Two very important aspects for healing. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you, Lisa.
Oh, BLW. I’m so glad he was helpful, that he listened and had directions he could point you in. Crossing my fingers for continued improvement all around — in your treatment and how you’re feeling.