It’s Friday! And though my weekends aren’t very different from my weekdays – generally spent on my laptop – I love knowing we’re almost there. I haven’t forgotten the beauty of the lost weekend… sultry Saturday nights, slow and sensual Sunday mornings…
A girl can dream, right?
So how are your weekend plans shaping up?
Duties or Delights?
For some of us, work takes priority even on the days we’re theoretically off the clock. (Hello, post-modernist, post-recessionary, post-divorce life?) For others, it’s parenting duties or possibly a mix of spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, pets, projects, and preferred pastimes.
And let’s not forget friends! On your menu for the upcoming days?
- Will you be busy or relaxing?
- On your own or with your partner?
- Are there kiddos in the picture?
- Are they trying toddlers or tortured teens?
- Any sexy scenarios on the romantic radar?
- Hot on the trail of ambitious athletic adventures?
Single Time, Couple Time
If you’re single, do you miss being part of a couple or are you making the most of your solo time to better get to know yourself? If you’re crazed, cranky, and crushed by family obligations, do you yearn for a little solitude?
Personally, I wouldn’t trade my years of mothering for anything. I would revise the details of certain circumstances – but the core of my experience? It’s been a privilege. My sons have taught me wonder, strengthened me with purpose, and expanded my capacity to love beyond any reckoning.
Naturally, that doesn’t mean I’m not ready to reclaim aspects of my life that have been set aside – a woman’s life, a passionate life, and in some ways, a more selfish life. Or certainly, self-interested. And I would start with the weekend – making room for rest, for reading, for recreation… perhaps of the sort to put a bounce in my step and a Mona Lisa smile on my face. (Now, now. You know.)
Defining the Ideal Lost Weekend
If I could paint the ideal (lost) weekend, I would color it with passion… and if I find myself entitled to “dessert,” I’d throw in great art! I would order up one elegant encounter, thank you very much, with a good man to laugh with, and share the ordinary, everyday activities that so many take for granted.
No, I don’t need marriage again. Yes, I need to pursue my many passions, and thus the pleasure of viewing art.
I recognize that I miss aspects of being in a couple, which is very different from needing to be paired off or not knowing exactly who I am on my own. But what role does wanting what we don’t have play in this – whether imagining the ideal day-to-day or the ideal special get-away?
Is it about finding a balance of me and we? Just how complicated is that innocuous expression, finding balance, when we get right down to it?
Wanting What We Don’t Have?
When we’re single, we crave couple time. When we’re childless, we long for the sounds of children. When our kids are little, we look forward to a time when they’re older, more independent, and we have more freedom. When they grow up, we grow nostalgic – for our selective memories of their days as children.
So tell me. Would your dream weekend involve an exotic locale? Or something as simple as no dishes in the sink, no laundry in the hamper, and no chauffeur duties to and from soccer practice?
Is it whatever you don’t have – right now? Is more time for what you do have – and love?
To Sleep, Perchance…
At this stage, my dream weekend would involve
- Sleep, sleep, sleep
- Passion, passion, passion
- Conversation with a man (equally lovely)
- Noting that (I need the sleep to prepare for the passion!
Sure. I still cling to it – as a fantasy, and even a possibility. I make no bones about my affinity for French men, and I’ve always had better “success” in my adopted city of Paris.
Meanwhile, I’ll ponder my fantasy Friday night – time with a man of character and humor, with smarts a-plenty, and the desire for my company – in all ways. I confess that I prefer life with a man in it. The pleasure of play, the delights in our differences. Getting lost on the weekends, together.
So what does your weekend look like? Your ideal lost weekend? What do you miss that you aren’t living right now?
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My weekend will involve: Friday night at home with GAP and finally watching the Mad Men finale; a Saturday morning walk with the dogs; a trip to the gym; *perhaps* a new MacBook Pro for moi (I’ve been SO patient!); giving the dogs a bath (argh…); a housewarming party at a friend’s house; church; volunteering at the hospital; grocery shopping; and hopefully getting to bed early Sunday night.
Actually, this is a pretty ideal weekend for me. Some down time, some fun time, some productive time. What makes it great is that there are no nagging household projects on the list. I love going into the weekend without things hanging over my head!
You’ll have to stop back and share your thoughts on the Mad Men Finale, Gale. (If it hasn’t been spoiled for you already this week!)
Just your normal weekend here, BLW. I am heading to high school football tomorrow as it is Band Day. I will most likely get lost in sports on TV tonight – it is hockey season after all – with an Octoberfest since I think the antibiotic is out of my system finally. A good book for some time with me.
My weekends are interesting as although we often have plans, they are far more relaxed than in the past. They include time to do the unplanned… and I love that. I am craving a retreat of sorts – the feeling of the luxury of hotel rooms and no need to do anything – the detachment from phone and computer and the familiar. There is something enticing about that… and I do love the conversation and banter that can only be found with a man… but all in time my friend, all in time!
Have a good weekend!
A luxurious retreat. Always a nice dream weekend, TE… (And another woman who is willing to admit to enjoying the banter with a man!)
The concept of “weekend” has changed for me since I had kids. No more sleeping in or lingering over a cup of coffee or going to yoga.
This weekend we’ll be having friends over for dinner one night and then going over to other friends’ for dinner the other night. We’ll also hit up a local Harvest Festival and will entertain my cousins and their baby. Not quite as relaxing, but I’ll take it.
Enjoy yours, BLW!
My dream weekend would involve sleep and silence. I’m shivering just thinking about the deliciousness of it.
Before kids, when I worked, I really used to see weekends as solace from the office, time to regroup and relax, time to rest up for the meetings and projects and deadlines looming on Monday. Now, it’s the exact opposite. Weekends are always so crammed full of stuff to do, places to cart the kids, errands to run, family time to make happen, that I almost look forward to Monday … when the routine slows down a little, or at least stabilizes to our usual “normal.” Funny thing, how that happened right before my sleep-deprived eyes.
I sense a theme. My but kids do change our perspective… Sleep deprivation and noise reshapes our ideas of “ideal” don’t they?
I will begin my weekend with a run and then doing some errands and chaperoning/entertaining my daughter. I am with Kristen, weekends have been redefined since kids. I remember my favorite thing to do on Sunday mornings: waking up early, reading the newspaper and watching CBS Sunday morning. Oh, I miss those days.
Have a great weekend BLW!
You have a great weekend, too! (And here’s to the weary moms getting some rest.) But what about those with a little energy in their step? (And a twinkle in the eye?) 😉
Let’s see – this weekend I’ll be attending a soccer game and (hopefully!) finding someone to fix my dryer! It stopped working this past weekend and with 5 people in this house, the inability to do laundry is not an option. Sunday I’ll be hopping on a plane to NYC leaving hubby to fend for himself and the boys. I might miss them a little, but I also secretly relish the fact that hubby has to deal with the boys on his own which I’ve had to do frequently as of late due to his work travel. And, of course, I have to be negative about it and feel resentful that he’ll (guilt-free) take them to Burger King every night whereas I (of course!) make a nice, healthy dinner, grrrr. Can you tell I’m grumpy? Oh yeah, my rice cooker broke this week too!
Oh, Cathy – this cracked me up! (We do love it when the other parent actually experiences more of the day to day drama with kids, if they don’t normally.) As for those repairs, why is it that necessary duty takes up our weekends as well as our weekdays? (No rice is one thing. No laundry? Not possible.)
My weekend will involve a date with my husband (yea for sons who are babysitters!), avoiding my writing until the last possible second every day, sleeping late on Saturday which now means like 9 AM, and some kind of play date/paintball horror thing on Sunday. All I know is I’ll definitely get stuck driving somewhere I don’t want to go.
I need to squeeze in some time to learn how to play the chorus for a song (Bulletproof by Blue Rodeo) I’m working on before my guitar lesson this week. It can be frustrating learning something that is out of your reach, it reinforces that Gladwell was correct about mastering a skill, you need to put in your 10000 hours of practice.
That’s a lot of hours, batticus! I’ll “settle” for expertise; mastery in anything feels perpetually out of reach.
It sounds like an ambitious undertaking. (But those are the best, aren’t they?)
My ideal weekend? One without pain and a husband home all day. (But I shouldn’t complain, his weekends are during the week and I get to spend all day with him then!) Oh, and one with sick-free kids. Blessed.
Oh Amber. Life hasn’t been easy on you guys these past months. (I wish we could get together over coffee. Virtual coffee?)
My favorite days are Sundays when we have no plans, and can truly relax! And yet, still get the laundry done, etc.