Monday, Monday 
The staff of the Complaint Department has been on sabbatical for a few weeks. But – it is Monday. And who likes Monday morning? Who doesn’t have a complaint or two or three? Who doesn’t want – or need – a place to bitch? What better time than when we’re all dragging – Monday morning? (Or Monday anytime, for that matter.)
I am, naturally, leaving out all the BIG stuff. You know. The heavy-duty hits to the heart, the formidably frustrating finances, the monumentally murky moments.
There’s plenty to mine from the daily details that accumulate, weigh you down, piss you off, and drop kick you into Cranky Land. Until you vent. And then you feel less like throwing pots and pans, tossing every bit of dirty laundry out the window, or telling your boss what you REALLY think of his/her managerial style, much less the last performance review.
Lay it all out, should you care to join. Otherwise, I invite you to share in my morning’s mopey Mondayness. All smart and snarky comments welcome.
A fiver for your winsome whining:
I’m happy to offer up a few complaints to get us started. Pop your Prozac, gulp your coffee, put off the bills, the agenda, the return calls, the kiddies – just for a few minutes. And BREATHE. Get it out. Everything else will function better when you do. It’s been scientifically proven! (Okay. Not so much. But it sounded good.)
Here we go. My Monday morning magnum opus:
- When I said YES to The Momalom Five-for-Ten Writing Challenge, little did I know it would be so compelling. And addictive. And exhausting. The good news is – there’s still so much to go back and read. Great stuff on interesting topics that are open for interpretation. Subjects like courage, lust (one of my faves), or the power of YES. The bad news is (thus my complaint), I’m still suffering from “postal” burnout (ho ho). My brain is semi-numb, my eyes are still burning, and I’m simultaneously undergoing Momalom withdrawal.
… - Parenting being what it is, it’s virtually impossible to NOT suffer the slings and arrows (sorry Shakespeare) of teenage pranks. Most are benign. Unfortunately, even benign pranks when practiced at school yield annoying results. Administrators lose their sense of humor (especially this time of year), and generally there’s detention or other punitive consequences that are more disruptive on PARENTS than on kids. Yes. My next three days are going to be irksomely impacted by a certain young man’s participation in a (rather creative) school prank, and subsequent schedule changes that affect me far more than my son. My thoughts on the matter? Shit shit shit. His real punishment? My bitching, for the next three days.
… - I am a lousy sleeper. At the best of times. If I manage to get 5, maybe 6 hours of sleep, I’m jubilant. And energetic. The past few weeks have been fraught with long hours and big challenges. BIG. The past week, stress of yet another sort. I’m back to 3 or 4 hours/night. Not good news. Yesterday, my body finally crumpled, and I napped – unintentionally mind you – in the middle of the day. Several hours. My kids even commented. “Mom, that was weird. Your door was open, your TV was on, you were fully dressed and sound asleep on your bed.” Yep. Uncharacteristic. Weird. And the worst part? During the French Open!
… - I am seeking a hypnotist to make all my self-directed self-deprecation and doubt disappear. Really. Anyone have any recommendations? I need more confidence, less physical stress, and to chillax. I’ve got a lot going on (and I know it), not the least of which are a heap of comings and goings by air in the next few weeks, and more after that. Complaint A? NONE of it is vacation of any sort. Complaint B? It’s all got to be managed around those irons in the fire I mentioned, which are stressing me out. My conclusion? A hypnotist. Mesmer himself if possible. Or a potion. No SSRI please; I like having a libido. You know, just in case. Any recommendations? For the hypnotist or the lively libido?
… - Yesterday I was on the phone with someone I don’t know very well. A nice, kind, “normal” person. We were catching up on a few things, and I found myself meandering off the deep end into a topic that I should steer clear of, that always upsets me, and that was irrelevant. Honestly? I don’t know why. Except that (a) the nap was insufficient (b) stress is building (thus the need for the hypnotists) and (c) I spend MUCH too much time alone in front of this screen. The woman whose voice I heard was an irritating, rambling cousin. Only she was me. Ever have those days? Don’t you just HATE yourself after that? Shudder. And shudder again.
… - My kids have been attempting to help a bit more around the house. Cleaning (to my surprise). Their rooms, the kitchen, doing the dishes. I’ve also found myself subject to a certain contagion – an inexplicable desire to clean and organize. Yet it seems like all the efforts and steps forward have already slid backwards. Why is it impossible to keep a house clean unless you pay someone else to do it? What’s up with that?
… - I have shoes, shoes, shoes neatly boxed and in my closet. I haven’t had the opportunity to wear any of them in months. Yes, I’m going out to write about once a week now. To research and write. To see people. For the stimulation of the change of scenery. I dress comfortably and put on cute shoes. But not THE shoes. The super nova super galactic hot hottie hot shoes I love so much. What’s a woman to do when she has a wardrobe and shoes for a life she does not lead? Damn wasteful if you ask me. On all counts. Wardrobe, and the activities it might incite.
…
Care to add a few tidbits from your own list?
I spent a really wonderful w/e in NYC so I have very little to complain about at this moment. Give me a few hours.
I hate the way schools come down on the senior prank stuff. I know there need to be rules but how about discretiion? Come on, right?
And your kids are helping out more?? Yay! I hope it’s contagious and makes its way over here.
In this case – it was both Junior (my kid and his friends) and Senior (they can’t touch them) pranks. They came down hard on the juniors. Crazy hard. Parents scuffled and bitched (it was a PRANK, and rather funny)… they reduced the “crazy hard” to irritatingly inconvenient for all concerned. An improvement, but still…
Will see if I can fan some of those cleaning germs your way! (Tell us about NYC!)
Oh, your little man got into some high school mischief, eh? Well, good for him. Life is dull; sometimes you need to make your own fun.
Good: went for an 8 mile hike/walk yesterday. Bad: woke up feeling 1,000 years old this morning. Sigh.
Bravo (and OMG) on the 8-mile hike. The day after? Bummer. (Bloody Mary Cure??)
Today I am complaining about having too much I want to do and too little time. I’m scattered, as I wrote for my blog. I am paralyzed by having too many options. ARGH!
@Andrea – oooo – paralyzed isn’t so good, but you know it won’t last. And TOO much to want to do is kind of a good thing in its own way… but we do need that 30 hour day. (Just sayin’…)
@Nicki – How lovely to have some white space and nothing too much to complain about! Excellent! (Hope it was a good run.)
@Rudri – It does get tough to find time to sit and write with little ones around, doesn’t it. I remember all too well. And you’re right. Mine are now helping. (Hooray.) See? Teens aren’t so bad! (I hope you got some writing time in today.)
@Kristen – You’ve got your hands full. Sick kids AND sick husband at the same time? (Hope you’re wearing a surgical mask.) No fun. Feel free to complain some more. (But the sunshine must feel delightful after all your rain!)
@Joely – I agree that keeping thoughts positive is very important. But it’s also human to not be able to do that sometimes. And I think a place to be able to bitch – about big things or small, serious or silly (and many of my complaints this morning were very silly) – is helpful. It’s a place to put the bad stuff that festers if we don’t put it somewhere. I say, better on the page, than bubbling up in an ulcer. And yes, the camaraderie as you say. You just feel less alone when you know that others are also drained from the everyday irritants that wear us down. (I am truly an admirer of your positivism, by the way.)
While I am looking at another week where there is little white space on the calendar, I am with Maureen. I had a great weekend so not going to worry about it all this Monday morning. Hope the inconveniences of pranks do not drive you to too much distraction. I am off to run!!
My daughter and I just ran errands this weekend. I tried to play catch up on all of the things that I have neglected, so that Monday morning wouldn’t be so painful. I had a Monday morning run and I am hoping to get some writing done on my novel. That is, if my four year old will let me.
On the upside, your kids are helping more and at least you’ve determined what needs to be done. When all else fails, you can just look forward to the upcoming weekend.
I was hoping you’d bring back Monday Morning Mopey. Crappy morning today. Had an argument with husband over a stupid thing. Son climbed into bed with mom and dad at 1 am, crying, saying something about a doggie-lady that was scaring him in his room. He was mostly on my side of the bed so I got very little sleep.
The weekend was mostly filled with obligations. I’m in need of a little me-time. Hoping to get some at yoga class today…
Ah, I feel better.
Oh Belinda. I’m so glad you enjoy the occasional opportunistic Monday Morning Moody Blues. (I think we can all do with a “safe” place to put our annoyances, and know we aren’t alone in feeling tired, irritated, momentarily overwhelmed, even by the little things.)
I’m sorry you didn’t get enough sleep. I empathize. And arguing over silly little things makes you feel terrible after. Again, I empathize. That “me” time can make all the difference, can’t it. And it gets lost in the shuffle… And yes! A free space for a little bitching doesn’t hurt! 🙂
Not to sound as though I never want to complain; I truly try not to complain. I find that when I say it out loud it becomes a part of me that I could do without it. There is an idea that thoughts turn to whispers, then talk, then a loud bombing scream. I could do without the screams. (Not that this is easy, I am Italian and I like to yell.) Keeping my thoughts positive is my theme. When I can’t, I run like Forrest Gump. My only suggestion BLW, protect your sleep at all costs, never let that one thing slide if at all possible. I know, I wish there were more hours in day, but hell, I am only human, and I was meant for 8 hours. Even so, there is some satisfaction in hearing others have the same difficulties as myself. Complaining can have its benefits, it is the camaraderie we have with each other. There is this one thing that keeps me centered, the whole world could fall apart at any minute, but as long as I am breathing and my kids are breathing; all is good.
The sun is shining after a week of rain the likes of which has not been seen in these parts since the days of Noah so I hate to complain…but I will anyway. 🙂
Sick kids. Sick husband. Interrupted sleep. Dirty house. Haven’t sat down to read in days.
But in the grand scheme of things, life is good and I think I better save some of my collateral with the Complaint Department for when I really need it!
I don’t know about hypnotists, but I am a big fan of doing things that compell you to be totally in the present moment. Whether that’s needlework or cycling or hockey or gardening… Anything to still the mind.
Mmm… Shall I remove my tongue from my cheek? While I might take a hypnotist recommendation (why not? I could write about it!), I do recognize that I need to NOT worry about things before I really have to worry about things…
One of my best friends is sick. Very sick. And after two weeks they don’t know what it is! And hospitals … don’t get me started (my advice … never go to the hospital!) I know House is a TV show, but I sure wish there was a 1-800-HOUSE number begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 1-800-HOUSE number end_of_the_skype_highlighting to call at times like these.
And even when there is a light at the end of the tunnel, illness makes it very difficult to have fun.
Praying for health and a cure (for all those that are ill),
Jim
My rant: husband who won’t let himself be pinned down to make vacation plans and instead continues moaning about the fact that son’s high school orientation will effectively stop us from taking a 12 day vacation (to Hawaii????) and limit us to a much less glamorous 8 day vacation to San Diego – again. Though, on a positive note, it is the worldwide headquarters of Jazzercise!
ugh, i hate mondays, coming into my crappy office after a sunday working at home unappreciated…
at least my most painful coworker is working from home today.
i love this line: ‘His real punishment? My bitching, for the next three days.’
First of all, I take issue with your “postal burnout” when you’ve churned out 5 fantastic posts since I last had time to open my reader.
My complaint: I won tickets to take my mom to The Color Purple … only now she keeps calling me complaining that I should’ve forced them to let me choose the date (bc she’s a chronic procrastinator too and the show is tomorrow night) and that she has nothing to wear because she spends her money on her children and grandchildren.
I just laugh at her and say “first world problem, mama!” when she stops for breath. 🙂
This is funny! I hope you guys enjoy the show. (You made me smile. Thanks!)
I read this yesterday and then got pulled away before I could comment.
I too have a few things I could stand to air out, but first I just wanted to say that this was a very refreshing post. May sound silly, but I think it’s important to be able to complain periodically. Cathartic, decompressing, etc.
As for my own gripes – the dogs never stop shedding, the scallops last night were fishy, and it’s 90 degrees and humid for the third day in a row here. Whew! I feel better now. 😉
Smiling, Gale. Actually, I started doing this awhile back, on Mondays, on occasion. The main reason was frustration trying to deal with so many service providers, and receiving endless automated voice menus – and never a real person. Customer service seems like a thing of the past – like the old “Complaint Department” where you genuinely could complain about a real problem, and get a real person to serve up a solution of some sort. So I wanted to bring back the “real person” behind the Complaint Department. Yes, a place to gripe – freely – without consequences. And to feel better. I agree with you. I think we all need that.
(Sorry about your scallops, the heat, and the dog hair. I feel you!)
I’m with you, I’m suffering quite ridiculously from Momalom withdrawal. And now I’m late to the Monday complaint department. However Monday was a holiday here in Canada and so that is hardly something to complain about. But just this minute a feel an urge to vent about my 4 year old who should be sleeping but who’s using every tactic in the book to avoid it. Two nights in a row. I’m DONE at bedtime. My day is over, I am off duty, I refuse to parent past 7:00. Alas, he has other ideas tonight and so I can’t fully relax until that kid is asleep.
Okay, a little moan, I know. But a moan nonetheless on what is a hot sticky, irritating evening.
And for the record…I love to read, but boy do I struggle to keep up with you woman! You write too much too fast.
Ha! Christine… too much too fast, hmmm? (I feel like I write at the place of sludge sometimes…) And no problem since Monday was a holiday in Canada… then Tuesday is Canadian Complaint day!!
(And by the way, why don’t those kids get that “off duty” concept? Do we need taxi lights to make it clearer?)
LOL to sleeping during the French Open! Hmmm… let’s see- complaints? The more I manage to ‘de-clutter’ my house, the more clutter I seem to find!
I am tired of people ripping corn apart at the store, they don’t even know what they’re looking for. they only ruin the corn. I say,if you open it, you buy it
Alan – welcome. (Corn rippers. Verrrrrry bad form, indeed.)
Moan… I understand Freedom of Speech, but just like your right to swing your your fist ends where my person begins, so should hurtful words. How would you like to have just lost you son or daughter in the Connecticut school shooting and turn on the radio to hear how you’re just an actor in a conspiracy developed by the government to use as an excuse to ban guns. I can’t believe radio stations would allow that on the air… sounds like a lawsuit too. Also what about the football player with the alleged faked girlfriend… who really cares… 19 action news was making fun of him… doesn’t that fall under the category of Bullying? …another lawsuit.