River. Apple. Banjo. Sparrow. Diva Muffin?
These are just a few of the odd celebrity names we might come across as we consume our daily pop culture media. What do you think? Would you do that to your kid? Or should I say “Kyd,” as in Kyd Duchovny (Tea Leoni and David Duchovny’s son)? Or the super-splendiferous surname of Superman, Kal-El? (Nicolas Cage’s son, in case you were wondering.)
Did your parents saddle you with a name you wish they hadn’t?
The importance of names
I’ve always liked my name. (What’s not to love about Ms. Big?)
Seriously – I do like my name, and an amiable assortment of nicknames. My father had a traditional name, and my mother, an unusual one. It was a parental concoction that was musical and exotic, a variation on a man’s name in a language other than English. She was teased for it as a child, but appreciated it as an adult. Would she have preferred something else? Hard to say. It seemed to suit her.
As for celebrities today and their wild baby names as well as others who bequeath cute, quirky, or downright weird in the naming department? Are they calling attention to themselves at the (ultimate) expense of their offspring?
Naming conventions
I chuckle at the latest celebrity sartorial surnames. Or, I experience images of intelligence, beauty, and more (conventional) positive associations when hearing traditional names. While I love wit and originality, I worry about the contrived, when it is something as personal as a name. We tend to “wear” our names, inside and out, along with the pleasure or baggage that comes along for the ride.
In certain religious communities, naming conventions honor ancestors or departed family members. In some cultural communities, naming follows suggested patterns, also pulling from previous generations – living or not – in a prescribed manner (for example, father’s side for child #1, mother’s side for child #2, and alternating in that fashion). My own sons bear names that work in multiple languages and follow two traditions. (That was no small feat.)
Common names – another challenge?
If unusual names subject their wearers to scrutiny, ridicule, or the necessity to develop a persona to match, what about the vanilla names that cause no stir at all? The Janes and Johns of the world? Do you have to try harder, wishing you were an Avis? What about the Peters and the Dicks? 
At the bland end of the spectrum, do you feel undistinguished? Just another face in the crowd?
- Does your name suit you?
- Did it shape you as a child?
- Were you teased, or just displeased?
- Do you “own” it as an adult?
- If you could choose a name, what would it be?
- What about your children?
Unusual names of cities and towns
While I have concerns over naming a child for comestibles, comic heroes, and odd objects, I adore unexpected naming when it comes to small towns and even cities.
Thoughts of apples and muffins make me hungry to hop a plane, train, or automobile for a tasting tour of America.
First stop? How about Clever, Missouri for coffee, where I will surely do better at the New York Times crossword. Then on to Rome, New York by lunchtime, for a plate of authentic pasta. My afternoon snack? I’ll take a Diva Muffin* please. But where shall I have it? With a name like that – anywhere I’d like!
By evening, I’d like to meander through Screamer, Alabama, then on to Sweet Lips, Tennessee. Next? How about Loving, New Mexico and then – Surprise, Arizona! Now couldn’t I find something French in this mix?
With volcanic ash still backing up air travel in Europe, might Paris, Texas do the trick? I wonder if those metro tickets in my pocket will be of use in the Lone Star state?
*Diva Muffin Zappa (Frank Zappa’s daughter)
I am Kelly. Bland, boring, Kelly. But when my mother named me in the mid-70s, she didn’t know of a single other Kelly. She knew only that she wanted her girls to have unique (boy) names. So one sister is Erin (Aaron) and another is Ashley. Both were popular boys’ names, along with Kelly.
My mom likes to tell people how she cried real tears when she took us to get our pictures made with Santa and the sign-in sheet was a long string of Kellys and Ashleys. Erin caught up with Kelly and Ashley in the 80s. Oh well.
I named my children traditional names, but they have options. Javier can be Javi or Jay, or he can choose his middle name, Stone (we know 4 Javiers and 0 Stones – go figure). Isabella can be Bella, Belle, Bay, Isa, or Isabel.
Celebrity names are ridiculous — but I love, love, love the name Harlow!
@Kelly – I always liked names that work for both boys and girls – like Kelly, as you mention. (And I don’t think of it as a bland name, but I do know that in elementary school there were 2 other kids in my class with the same name as mine, and I didn’t like that very much!)
@Eva – you have an elegant name. A bit like Ava. I picture willowy and classic.
@Belinda – fascinating about the Marias! And thank you for your thank you. 🙂
Maybe you’d like to visit Climax, Minnesota? (Yes, it’s a real place!!)
I like Eva. I really do. As a child, I wish I had a great nickname used by my closest friends. But aside from that, Eva seems to suit me.
I was born by C-section and in those days, the mother was fully sedated. My mom was unconscious for a few hours, and my dad (supposedly) named me in the interim. Dad and Mom had talked about names but hadn’t made a final decision. My mom had a different favorite name that my dad hated – and that name has never been revealed to me.
By the way, I’ve never been to Minnesota – Climax or elsewhere. I do remember driving through Intercourse, Pennsylvania years ago. I thought that was a hoot.
My mother gave all four of her daughters the name Maria and then a more unique second name as a nod to some ancient cultural tradition. I grew up going by the nickname Mara. Now it’s a name only a handful of close people call me. Professionally, blog-ically (may one day become a word, who knows), and all newer friends call me Belinda which I like.
I have a friend whose name is Greek with a hyphenated, 8-syllable last name. She is super nice and I secretly think having to teach people how to pronounce and spell her full name has shaped her into the awesome lady she is today. She’s gone on to serve as the Ambassador to Hungary under the Obama administration.
On a separate note, I left in the comment section on Eva’s blog that today is the day to tell some of my favorite bloggers how much I appreciate their blogs. So, BLW, thank you for your wonderful blog!
You sure do see a lot of different names these days. Not only in celebrity children but names from different parts of the globe. Sometimes hard to pronounce, sometimes hard to understand. But in the end, for bad or good, the individual gives their name’s meaning. (Think Ponzi vs. Oprah). And, if you “blame it on the name” you can always change it, or find a nickname, or use initials or …?
I’m Jim for better or worse and always happy I wasn’t named Wolfgang…Have fun, Jim
P.S. One day I’ve got to get to Climax, Minnesota.
Maybe Wolfgang is my real name? Wolfie for short? 🙂
Celebrity baby names intrigue me, though more often than not they just crack me up. (Pilot Inspektor, really??) When we chose my daughter’s name, we had ever known anyone (adults or children) with that particular name. Turns out, it was in the top 10 for popularity the year she was born. So we had a good chuckle about our “originality” but decided, in the end, we loved it and that was what mattered. (And we hope she loves it, too, as she gets older.)
My husband insisted that Grace be Grace, because of the interconnectedness of our unexpected pregnancy with his father’s terminal illness. I rue the fact that the name is so popular these days, but love the story from which it came, and the connection I still see that she has with her grandfather (he received a life-saving heart transplant on her one month birthday, which is why the terminal became not terminal).
Still, I hate that there are other Graces in her class, and that she will likely be Grace R at some point.
I have already talked about how I feel about my name before. : )
Actually, I really appreciate my name. I went through elementary and most of junior high being the only Amber. It was when I hit high school that I found out it wasn’t unique. Still, I have grown into my name. I couldn’t imagine myself being someone other than Amber.
As for those stars–perhaps the flash of the cameras has messed up their frontal lobe. Kidding, kidding. Most of the stars have become used to lives of glamour. Glamour and individuality are part of Hollywood’s attraction. Don’t many stars change their names so they can stand out? Like Ashton Kutcher? If this is the case, maybe they don’t want their children to be put in a similar situation. I’m not saying I agree with it, just providing an explanation.
MUFLS. Messed Up Frontal Lobe Syndrome. I’m liking it, Amber…
I’m Nicki – not Nicole, not Nikki. I don’t mind when people misspell my name but do dislike being called Nicole somewhat. I don’t dislike the name Nicole, just dislike being called that.
My father didn’t want any of his children – at least his daughters, which is all he ended up with – being called a name other than the one he/she was given. My guess is that might have changed had a boy come along.
I am constantly correcting people on my name, on how to spell my name, but I do not mind. It’s me!
Fun post, Wolfgang!
Personally, I love the resurgence (popular among non-celebrities, apparently) of traditional baby names (like Lindsey’s Grace, for instance). Husband and I agreed on naming guidelines during both of my pregnancies, during which we didn’t know the gender of our boys: Hebrew Bible names for boys; Jane Austen characters for girls.
As a former teacher, I crossed a few contenders off the baby name list if a student with that name drove me to distraction. On a side note, during my second year teaching, I had four Brians and one Byron in my class of 28. Whew!
I’ve always liked my name, but mostly I like the middle names that my brothers and I have. They are all family names. When my son was born, I made sure his middle name reflected my ancestry!!!!! (And no, I’m not related to Mott’s Applesauce, so does not have an Apple related middle name. Haha)
Good one, DM!
With a name like Rudri, I certainly don’t make the shortlist of popular names. I like my name, often telling people that there are only seven people with my name (I googled it -wondering how accurate that is) in the entire world. It is difficult to pronounce and I was teased as a kid, but I like my name.
I stumbled on your blog through some of the other blogs I read. Pleased to make your acquaintance.
Rudri – cool name! Nice to meet you, too!
Well, I’ve written before about how my mother named me Jane but changed her mind and decided to call me Linda right after I was born, so this caused a lot of problems, especially when I tried to get my first passport!
Now I mainly don’t like my name because it’s an aging babyboomer name. Have you met any Lindas who are 20?
Naming my kids required an unbelievable amount of preparation and knowledge of our dead relatives’ names since we’re Jewish. We went with Hebrew bible for both and normal spelling. But there was this kind of complicated machination that occurred as we moved from one dead relative to another, considering one had already had five children named for him and moving onto the next!
My kids have English and Hebrew names. I should clarify that their first names are “English” and their middle names are “Hebrew.” I wouldn’t have blinked had we chosen to reverse that as their Hebrew names are beautiful.
As it happens both of their Hebrew names are easy to pronounce for non speakers, but we did consider whether they would get teased more for being different.
In regard to my name, well it is not Jack but I like it a lot. As a kid I didn’t run into too many people who had the same name as I but that changed a few years back.
Now it seems like quite a few do. I rather enjoyed being more unique.