Do you know what you’re worth? How do you ascertain your value – as a worker, a creative, a woman, a man, a spouse, a parent? As a member of society?
I’ll state this up front. This isn’t the usual morning musing. But hang in. It may be useful.
What is your job worth?
In layman’s terms, in most organizations “job analysis” breaks down the elements of work to be performed. Job analysis has been around for a very long time, and the Human Resources profession relies upon documented job definitions and associated knowledge, skills, abilities and experience necessary for success in each position.
Generally speaking (in the private sector), jobs are then slotted into salary bands or wage scales, according to industry, market, competitive conditions, specialized expertise required, union contracts if applicable, organizational performance, and organizational culture. Your compensation? It’s based on these pay scales for your job, along with your performance. This isn’t how it works all over the world – the US is especially big on pay for performance. In addition to a paycheck, an employee’s compensation generally includes some (insurance) benefits, paid time off, and possibly other incentives.
Perform a job, get paid. In theory, perform better, get paid more.
The result? A sense of worth.
Lose your job? Self-esteem plummets.
Even though you may not like the compensation you’re receiving currently, a tough economy in which many have lost jobs makes you appreciative, right? Even if you’re asked to do more with less, and bear the pressures that invariably result?
Perhaps you turn to knowledge of colleagues’ incomes, or sites like Salary.com to validate your sense of satisfaction (or dissatisfaction) with your pay; your worth remains calculable in some way – as a contributor to the economy, to your family, and from which you derive self-esteem.
What are you worth as a freelancer or independent contractor?
In the past 36 hours, I’ve been working on a proposal for a small writing project which turns out to be not so small. It has a tight deadline (3 weeks), requires specialized skills and knowledge, and in a “normal market” I have a sense of what I should be paid. This isn’t a normal market, and I’ve been without a paying project far too long.
I want the work. Moreover, I need the work.
But how do I price the job in a field (freelance writing) which presents a wide range in terms of rates charged, and an equally wide range in quality of services delivered? And since there is a psychology to pricing (too low says “poor quality,” and too high means you won’t get the gig), how do I value myself and my work in this situation?
After hours of research on the subject matter, preparing notes and next steps (should I get the project), I decided to STOP. Everything. I had already expended too much time on upfront research. However, as I was sliding into actually beginning the work, I realized its scope. I also realized how much experience I bring to the table in this endeavor. The price I originally had in mind felt insufficient to the task. Fortunately, I reached an old friend on the phone last night with knowledge in this arena. He confirmed that the price I had in mind was too low – by half.
This morning I placed a call to the company president and left a message that we need to discuss project cost before I go further. I haven’t heard back. We’ll negotiate (not my best thing), and agree or not. I’ll get the project or not. Let me add: I loathe pricing, and like many men and women both, negotiating pay is not one of my strengths. It takes practice, confidence, as well as knowledge of your potential customer, your competition, and your own worth.
I know something of the customer. And my competition. My issue seems to be around my own worth. In fact, I know my worth, but am hesitant to assert it.
Independent work and negotiating pay
Are you an independent worker?
- Are you a consultant or freelancer?
- Do you work on a contract basis?
- Do you take whatever work for pay you can find?
- Babysitting, bar tending, tutoring, substitute teaching, house cleaning?
- Do you work multiple jobs and projects to make ends meet?
- Do you know your worth, but like me, you’re hesitant to assert it?
When we go for extended periods of time without pay, self-esteem dropping through the floor, skills gathering dust, bills stacking up – we lose confidence. We want to grab at anything, at any rate of pay, because it’s something. Been there, done that. Some of us are more likely to do this, depending upon the situation. Women, I believe, are more likely to do this, perhaps in part because we’re used to working – hard – and receiving no monetary compensation for it. And when it comes to negotiating pay, historically, we’re less likely to push for what we’re worth.
Freelancing and unemployment realities
When you’re an independent, there are no benefits, no unemployment or disability for periods without work or when sick, and periods between gigs of any sort can be extensive. Not working for pay erodes your sense of self-worth. Especially if you are the primary (or sole) breadwinner, as in my case. But not working for pay doesn’t equate to not working. For example, while my cobbled together existence these past years has been a roller coaster, this past year of unemployment hasn’t meant idleness. I write, research, look for work, full-time parent; it does mean lowered self esteem, and consequently, a sense of being less valuable. 
The reality is: we are a culture used to valuing ourselves by the dollar (and what the dollar can buy). Without those measures, we risk losing ourselves. We feel worthless.
I know what it is to feel worthless when you cannot provide for your family. And yet, I do not feel worthless, because I write, because I am a full-time parent, because I take sustenance from these activities and roles, with or without remuneration. And as for parenting, I’ve certainly stated my position already that parenting is a profession, and ought to merit a paycheck.
Your worth, your lifestyle: Parenting, personhood, womanhood, manhood
So how do you determine what you’re worth, as a freelancer, an independent consultant, or even a babysitter? As a wife, a husband, a supportive significant other? As a parent, and homemaker?
We’re outside the prescribed norms of “job analysis” though still subject to regional differences, a recessionary economy – and – in my list above, which includes a personal sense of worth, we are subject to our childhoods, to our emotional health and well-being, and the health of our relationships and communities.
So what is your value if you care for a spouse, a home, or children? If you’re unemployed and looking? If you’re an experienced professional in a field that’s taken a hit, and you find yourself working in a convenience store, waiting tables, or cleaning bathrooms?
How do you separate your sense of self-worth from your job title or your bank account? How do you feel about yourself in your current situation?
Valuing the self, as if you were a service provider
If you were an employee or an independent service provider, how would you determine your worth? You might think about:
- What your client needs
- What you bring to the table
- What the market will bear
- The competition
- What is special about your services
- How much you are needed
- What covers costs, allows you to survive, and even to thrive
- What you are achieving
In my case, I’m still sane (and able to find humor) because I look at how I spend my days and nights. I think about who I become, what I am learning, and what I contribute – as a person, as a woman, as a writer, as a parent. Perhaps the smartest thing I’ve pursued to maintain my self-esteem is daily writing. Here. It forces me to practice “deadline” writing (albeit not my best stuff). It keeps my skills intact. It provides enormous satisfaction, as I look at the body of work that I’ve accomplished. And it has provided extraordinary community – which eases the isolation of both unemployment, and the writer’s lifestyle.
As a parent, I look at my sons who have continued to do well, in the face of difficult challenges. I hope our hard times will make them more compassionate – and stronger – as they grow into men.
As a woman, I’ve taken more hits – in other words, had too little time, for too many years to pursue a social life. My priorities have been more fundamental. Kids. Food. Shelter. Yet one thing that age and those very priorities have afforded me: I no longer measure my worth by the reflection in the mirror or a number on a scale.
Do I prefer when I feel good about how I look? Sure. Do I judge myself by it? No. My priorities are my sons, health, writing.
Assessing self-worth, money and self-esteem
So how do you measure your self-worth? Do you feel good about who you are and what you contribute to your “clients” – yourself, your family, friends, community, profession?
- Can you distinguish between value and external perception of worth?
- Do you require monetary compensation to feel good, or something else?
- What are you worth, as a person, a woman, a man, a partner, a parent, a professional?
…
Please note: I spent 15 years consulting to and supporting the HR function.
Ever since I gave up my career to stay home with my girls, I’ve struggled with this issue. I don’t regret my choice, but sometimes I don’t feel worth jack shit.
This is a very interesting post. I agree with half of it. First off, I don’t attach my self esteem to my job or pay. I used to do that when I was in corporate America, and competing daily for the bonuses and pay raises that were doled out from a limited pool. (Sort of like freelance dollars, I suppose) But at some point, I went all buddhist so to speak, and realized any thing I attach my Self to is inherently meaningless. So I stopped. (That stopping process took years of psycho-analysis and spiritual awareness, btw.)
The part that resonated me here in this post is the question, how do we determine what our freelance work is worth? Like you say, it’s a mix of what you bring to the table, your ability to research even more, what’s needed by the person paying, what your competition is doing, etc. I struggle with this daily. It’s especially hard for me because I don’t attach my self esteem to my worth. So my ego doesn’t throw fits saying “I deserve more more more!” I haven’t figured out this one yet.
I think you both make good points. TKW – we live in a culture that devalues parenting and homemaking, whether it’s a man or woman doing it. And it’s pretty damn demanding stuff, I don’t have to tell you. And DM, I understand disassociating the “ego” from pricing (or a salary, for that matter). I long ago did that as well. The issues are three-fold in freelancing: (1) the psychology of pricing (appropriate to target market, venue, future business, etc.); (2) no one wants to be taken advantage of; (3) supporting your family.
Sadly, “writing” has become a commodity, even in specialized arenas. Quality is all over the map, and often sacrificed to the lowest possible bid.
I used to agree with TKW. Now I am beginning to feel comfortable in my position. However, if I ever needed to go back to work I would probably quote my potential far too low.
You touch on a number of systemic challenges that persist today and I could probably write three or four posts after reading this thoughtful piece. But for now, let me focus on this: “As a woman, I’ve taken more hits.” Whether we realize it (some Gen X and older) or not (some Gen X and younger), this is sadly still true. It’s tough not to get our confidence enmeshed in the paid work that we do or don’t get because: 1) for most of us, we acquire the legal tender by working for it and 2) women still get passed up for unfair reasons. As women, we’re still struggling to get past judgments such as being “too emotional”, “too unstable”, “too attractive”, “not attractive enough” for the job. And if were mothers, it’s all too easy to assume that we would miss deadlines because of our need to care for our dependents. For me, I happen to love the work that I do but I do rely on this work for my income which, I admit, add to my self-worth along with my family, friends, writing, reading, hobbies, growing, etc.
Hey Belinda. I’m semi-sorry about the nature of this post. I’ve hurried through a complex set of interrelated issues, in a time-crunch day, and very superficial manner. The fact is, there are many posts and discussions here – sources of self-esteem for boys and girls, cultural differences in roles and their “value,” pay (in)equity, the so-called “flexible work schedule,” issues of employment (and unemployment) statistics and survival, women with children vs women without children in the workplace, freelancing/independent contracting, how any society values its creative workers. And so much more.
I know this is a patchwork; I look forward to whatever focused discussions may flow from this.
I loved reading the interplay between you, D, and David. There’s so much going on in terms of spirituality, business, and Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Then there is the fact that many women tend to rate their work too low. If you don’t have a guy to bounce this off of, make a good educated guess — and don’t second guess yourself. It really is a crap shoot.
Ah, Elizabeth – yes – an East Coast-West Coast vibe difference between DM and myself? Maslow indeed, yet the same issue. The need for work. I’m not too worried about self-actualization these days. I’m back down there on the closer-to-the-ground rungs. (Maybe it’s a height thing?) 🙂
Funny that I’m reading this now; I was just offered a writing job and asked if I thought a certain dollar amount sounded okay. I haven’t done this type of writing in a while and don’t have much to base an answer on. My older daughter has had issues with me not making much money and relying on my Ex by having been the one home with them all these years. I don’t expect her to get it. I long ago stopped associating my self esteem with a paycheck, but part of the goal of this next part of my life (with kids leaving) is to stand finanacially on my own.
Good post, again!
You certainly pressed a lot of hot buttons today. As you can imagine, I’m completely submerged, gulping for air with your post. It is perfectly spot on. Being a free-lancer is one of the most difficult, complicated rewarding/frustrating/impossible/humiliating/fulfilling/terrifying professions that exists. And perhaps the worst of it is, particularly at this moment, we’re always in the demanding position.
I have never understood why someone who sees another’s unique value, won’t pay for it. After all, the work of that person reflects back on the individual intelligent enough to hire her.
It’s so annoying when you make me think. Really, I wish you wouldn’t do that.
All my fingers are crossed.
xo, Tish
I am sure my response will be disjointed as I am in an extremely emotional state today.
Freelancing/contract work is difficult. While it seems that more and more businesses and companies are partaking in freelance/contract work, they are doing so to cut costs frequently. Because of that, the rates are getting lower, not higher.
I have been freelancing since 2000. I do not make a ton of money but enough to live the life I wish. I do receive child support from my estranged (I call the ex but we are only legally separated for the last 13 years) husband. I have had really good years and then not so good years. Last year was not a great year but an okay one. This year is … off a bit from last year but I am picking up a few more clients so will manage.
Pricing is one of the hardest parts. I could go so many ways with why – who you are bidding to, what you are bidding for, scope, etc.
I am sure I will come back and comment more but not tonight.
As a writer just dipping a toe into the freelance waters, I was recently advised to write – for free – whenever possible and whatever possible. (Wait, isn’t that called “blogging”?) I have a glimmer of an idea of how difficult this market is for trying to break into a writing career, but I still wonder about the message that I send if I agree to write gratis. After all, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
The trouble, of course, is that my other occupation – parenting – is also a pro bono one. I am fortunate to be in a partnership in which my husband’s income can sustain us for the time being, but I have a great sense of insecurity in becoming unmarketable and, dare I say, without value to potential employers.
When I first went freelance, I took any and all projects and opportunities that came my way — including writing a doctoral thesis for an international student with 50 pages of disjointed research and graphs and only a five-day turnaround. Mistake! I got paid $50 for that bit of hell. I wasn’t confident in myself or my ability to find work for pay, so I set my worth very low.
Now I am more selective. I must make a certain amount or I will not take the offer. If there is a project I’m passionate about or really want to be part of, I am willing to accept a lower price. I always evaluate how I’ll feel after the work is completed. Will I feel like a schmuck? Then I don’t do it. Will I feel proud? That’s the project I want to devote my time and energy to.
Kelly I know what you’re saying, but I’ve been freelancing for nearly 7 years now, and the market where I am is bad. A lot of newspaper people were laid off 2 years ago and again a year ago. When supply outstrips demand – and not just in freelance writing – it’s all about who you know, or the lowest bid, or a lot of people aren’t getting the work done. They’ll turn to whomever “in-house” does HTML or graphic work and can write a little, and they’ll consider it good enough. Or they’ll defer the project in the way they initially conceived it.
In the beginning of freelancing I also took tiny sums of money for writing, but was able to get some consulting work. That’s harder now, as well. Too many people out of work. And much younger, and don’t think that doesn’t make a difference. (And there are plenty of ways around age discrimination laws.)
Linda – I do understand that “presence” – particularly on the web or in a way to be known – adds to your credibility as well as work that can be read and considered as writing samples. In the online world, writing for free (and links) is common. In the print world, it’s a little different, but you may find you’re writing for $50 and covering expenses alone is a hundred or two. But if you get the “clip” then it’s something. Obviously, that isn’t economically viable unless you have other means of support.
I’ve been writing for free intentionally for a while now trying to build up this elusive thing that in the publishing world is called “platform” and is most of the reason my book didn’t sell the last time I had an agent. The reasoning is that if I get an impressive enough writing resume and enough connections and have enough of a “profile” in the world as a writer, and a good book, someone will take a chance on me, since otherwise I’m essentially no one from nowhere.
I can’t say that it wasn’t a little weird when a local paper had me write four separate articles for them with no offer of payment. I think that we should have a trial run perhaps for free and then get paid, increasingly more as we prove our worth over time and increase our following. In my case, I wanted the byline more than I wanted the compensation but I’m being supported by someone. In a different situation I’d feel differently.
I learned in a very harsh way that to be able to work and to earn one’s own money is a joy and a privilege that most people simply take for granted. My life was turned upside down after a car accident left me paralyzed from the neck down. I didn’t appreciate what I had (and what I could do) until I lost it all.
Very interesting post and I can relate to much of it. I also do freelance/contract work and have noticed lately that in trying to get a client I unwittingly become an unpaid consultant. I tell them what I will bring to the table and how and in “selling” it they have to learn some of what I do. Then they decide to give the task to a current employee or take it on themselves. I spend hours, days, even weeks sometimes pitching my product (me) and then get nothing in return. It’s the nature of the beast and the economy but it sucks! As a result I have worked for and applied for positions making $15/hr!! Not what I am worth but like you said, it’s something. And as a single mom I have to pay the bills and put food on the table somehow.
I’ve had this very same experience, Mindy. It’s a fine line to walk – enough to “get” the job without giving away ideas and skills, only to have the prospect turn the work over to someone in-house. This particular maneuver has been more prevalent in the past two years as I’ve bid on work, among small and large companies alike. Thus, my “STOP” to myself, yesterday – until I get more feedback on the price range I am proposing. (And having heard back, continuing discussion has been deferred to tomorrow afternoon. No way to know which way it will go, and my bid is still below market, though higher than my original estimate.)
And yes, when it really is about food on the table, rent or mortgage, and utility bills to be paid, you’re not negotiating from a position of strength. It makes everything tougher.
Work is what you do with your day. Whether you make money or not, you can choose to do work on yourself. There’s no reason work and self-actualization need to be decoupled. When my mind, body, and soul work in unison, I feel most vibrant and alive. Intellectualizing survival without soul sounds depressing to me.
Yeah DM, but kids still need food, doctors, a roof, clothes. Soul-killing or not, that requires $$.
Good and comprehensive post. I hate the pricing part of work as well.