Did you ever have a teacher or professor who changed your life? Or at the very least, believed in you just when you needed it most? 
I can remember several, in high school and college mostly, men and women who fed my hunger to learn, and allowed me the space to dream. I never forgot their words of encouragement. Happily, my sons have also experienced teachers who befriended them, motivated them, and supported them in their learning – and living.
And yes, in our public school system.
- Are you in the process of making critical choices about your child’s education?
- Are you choosing where to live, based upon the education available?
- Are you homeschooling – or considering it?
- Are you shadowed by your own childhood experiences of school, that weren’t so great, or trying to recreate those that were?
Teachers, parents, worries
As parents, we can’t help but worry about the education our little ones will get, and it seems like early childhood education and the teen years are what we worry about most.
Without question, there are problems in our public school systems. We read about them, worry about them, see them, and hope we can find the best schools and education for our kids at each juncture. That’s not always possible.
I admit, we haven’t had a perfect experience. It doesn’t exist. We’ve dealt with overcrowding and loss of funding, with teachers who are less qualified than we’d expect, ridiculous dress codes, and homework assignments that make no sense in content or quantity. I’ve also been an engaged parent, volunteering around my work schedule when I could, to see first hand what was going on. And for me, I was reassured – frequently – by the quality of instruction I observed in the classroom.
We’ve known exceptional teachers who are creative within a resource-constrained system, and who nurture, encourage, and offer good models to our kids as they change, and as life changes them.
Our public school experience
I’ve watched my sons’ teachers juggle disciplinary issues, administrative squabbles, drama over budget cuts, troubled children, and gifted children. They have set boundaries, tolerated complaining parents, and given their best. My sons have benefited from those who recognized their strengths and their struggles, our changing circumstances over the years, and the special challenges that go along with them.
Yesterday one of my son’s teachers called. She pushes him, demanding excellence and accepting nothing less. She wanted to discuss a special summer program, something my son would like to pursue. There are few such programs in the country, and none we can afford. She’s also trying to find scholarship money, and as he’s getting his hopes up, I’m both pleased, and feeling my usual single parent guilt, and worry.
An apple for Ms. B
My kid has talent and brains and heart. But there’s no predicting this outcome. Still, when Ms. B called and I realized what she’s doing on his behalf, I thought of a shiny, red apple. The kind we used to bring to a teacher. A gesture of appreciation and respect.
It’s been a long week, and it’s not over. School work, the elaborate application process to this program, SAT Saturday, again. I need to pack an apple for my son in his lunch this morning, and an extra. An apple for the teacher, to say thank you.
I had to just jump in on this one. First off I want to tell you, you just made my day. It is not often that people recognize that while there is incompetence in the educational arena, many more teachers do that which qualifies as “over and above the call of duty” to help their students and often at their own expense and on their own time.
This is a wonderfully heartwarming story told with a realistic view of the educational woes in our nation and the concerns parents share in desiring the best for their progeny. Thank you for being so balanced in your approach and your tone. I, as a public school teacher for nearly two decades, appreciate it greatly and know that my colleagues will as well. This story is especially heartwarming for me because, while I don’t teach high school, I am referred to by my my students as “Ms. B.”
And, now, I’d better run or I will be late!
I know many don’t think of it this way, but I see my son’s teacher as our partner. She spends as much time with him as we do and she’ll impact his life one way or another.
We are lucky that our school allows us to choose Javi’s teacher (because of his disorder) and we know exactly his teacher’s strengths and weaknesses before he walks through the door. I am incredibly thankful that we all work together as a team and that his teacher is amazing with him. She’s underpaid and overworked, but doesn’t let that affect her attitude or desire to see her kids succeed.
I pray the support he’s receiving now will carry him through the inevitable rough years.
Great point. If we think of teachers as our partners, we can do even more for our children – individually and collectively.
What a thoughtful, interesting post. We have tried private school, public school and homeschool at various times in our family. And because of this people often ask me which is best? None of them. It all depends on what is right for your child, your family at that particular time in your life. No one school or homeschool is the end all, be all, best choice. They all have their drawbacks. They all have their strengths.
I love hearing about teachers like Ms. B!
Too funny – I guess you and I had education (or at least apples?) on the brain late last night and early this morning.
I live in a small town with subpar schools. Husband and I may eventually make career decisions in order to seek out a better school system for our kids. But as Jane so rightly points out, and as I know from ten years of teaching: there are no guarantees that any one school or any one teacher will work for any one student. Education is a complicated web of relationships among kid, teacher, and parent.
A music teacher recommended #5 to a music program called Noise! one summer. It was not something that I could afford to send him to but the teacher also, knowing the family quite well, made sure that money was not going to an issue. Getting in was as it was highly competitive.
Good luck with SATs and the application process.
As a teacher in California, this post warmed my heart. We are dealing with severe budget cuts, layoffs and low morale. What makes my day is dealing with my students, and my parents. Each and everyday I am blessed to have these eager students in my class ready to learn new things (for the most part!) 🙂 My parents, they are my partners, without their support, I could not do my job.
I was a music teacher for 25 years and finally had to give up. Public schools just aren’t conducive to the arts anymore and with the pressures of the No Child Left Behind Act, standardized testing is becoming the norm completely eradicating the opportunity for any creative or critical thinking skills to develop. Having said that, I have had some very special moments in my past teaching career that I will always cherish. To this day I have past students contacting me and telling me how much I have changed their life or have given them the skills to be successful.
Oh yes, we talk and talk and talk about this in our house. The endless discussion of public vs private vs moving to another town where the public schools are “better”. Yes we want what is BEST for our kids but what we grapple with is what does “best” even mean. Do we want to move to a town that is homogeneous in every sense of the word, where they will be the only Jewish kids in the class, there will be absolutely no diversity but the school system will be highly regarded with amazing “scores”, sending kids to top ivy league schools and hosting kids with millionaire daddies. They will have fantastic teachers, smaller class sizes and not have to walk through security gates as they enter the school. OR do we want to stay where we are, where there is a tremendous amount of diversity, with kids from every race and nationality, there will be kids the same as mine but more who are different. They will not get as much attention, their classes will be bigger, the sports teams harder to make. I will have to work harder as a parent to be sure they get what they need. The school’s reputation will not get them into college. We’re leaning toward the latter. We believe diversity is PART of an education, a part that we both lacked in ours.
But we’re not set in this decision. We want what is BEST but just can’t be confident in what that is. So much has to do with the relationships with the teachers and the involvement of the parents. But nothing is a guarantee which is scary.
Excellent post… as you can see it is weighing on me by my rambling!
Not a ramble, Becca! It’s a huge issue, and so important. For what it’s worth, the decision you’re making is one I had to make some years ago, and also leaned toward the latter. Drawbacks and advantages to both, but I’m glad I chose the way I did. Personally, I agree that diversity and something closer to the real world is an essential element of education, and preparing our children to be part of a global community. It is more work, for the parents. But I think for some of us, it’s certainly worth it as we see our children grounded rather than “entitled” and comfortable in many environments.
Beyond paying teachers better as a society, another issue I think about is the general philosophy of education. Too often kids wonder why they’re bothering to learn what they are taught. I think kids need to learn how to think, not just memorize and regurgitate so-called “facts” (that, like Newtonian physics, may not even be as true as kids may be lead to believe).
If we look at the way kids engage media, multitasking, mixing media, following curiosities, perhaps we might get some clues about preparing them for the world that they will make, and inhabit.
A classical education is a great base, but an integrated curriculum where one subject relates to the others really helps create more holistic thinking (i.e. kindergartners visit the fire station, learn words related to it, learn math related to it). Also, we might have a greater emphasis on working as groups and teams (i.e. as with the fire station, role play social learning such as who goes out to fight the fire and who stays back to receive other emergency calls).
I have certainly had life changing teachers and I deeply appreciate them; it just saddens me when their hands are tied about how they can really teach and inspire, not to mention being under-paid and culturally devalued.
Thanks for posting on this… at some point I hope there will be a tipping point where enlightened self-interest of the zeitgeist might dictate a real shift and not just “no child left behind” sort of empty lip-service and misguided policy.