Boys don’t make passes at girls who were glasses. Or do they?
Well men sure do!
Sexual attraction is inexplicable, elusive, magical, and for some, it’s embarrassing to talk about. It’s difficult to put into words what attracts you – and what you might like to explore and enjoy.
But not to worry! Here’s your chance, and it’s just you and me. No one’s listening. No one at all.
Really.
You can even whisper if you like. Just type very, very gently.
Come on, you can do it. Let’s talk…
Understanding sexual attraction
How do you explain what draws you to a man or woman? Is understanding sexual attraction really as simple as pheromones?
I don’t buy it.
That may be a partial answer, but I think sexual attraction demands a complex formula to draw more than a passing look. Is it a tone of voice, a glint in his eye, the graceful way she crosses her legs or runs a fingertip across the surface of her lips when she’s deep in thought? Is it his humming when he’s happy, or just the sight of his hands, then imagining what they can do to you, for you, and with you?
Sources of attraction – common or comical?
Hot for a clown costume on your beloved? Probably not. Then again – if it incites a roiling riot in your most passionate heart, it may indeed bring on a festive and impromptu meeting of more than the minds.
Does laughter get your juices going?
Or do you succumb to moody and mysterious moments? To surprises of the romantic sort – complete with a late supper served in bed? Are you putty in his hands when dealing with exotic erotic episodes, like Hot Mama in her thigh-high boots, a corset (from Dorset), a hint of spicy fragrance, and that little smile that reminds both of you of anything but the Mona Lisa?
What are your top 10 sexual fantasies?
Have you pondered your fantasies lately? Might they be worthy of a few tipsy scribbles or two, perhaps to place under the pillow of your personal partner, to… assist with research?
In fact, men and women share more sexual fantasies than you might think, and here are some of the elements that often come into play in sexual attraction, sexual play, and sexual fantasy:
- humor
- trust
- flirty dirty talk
- role play
- costumes
- unusual locations
- the unexpected
- objets d’art
And surprise, surprise… some men have an affinity for women with nerdy glasses. So, could that special sparkle you can’t quite define be anything? A mole on his cheek? Her laugh lines? The way he looks in his old jeans on a lazy Sunday morning?
What convergence of character, context, and sensory suggestiveness gets your rambunctious readiness revving?
Sex toys – Vive la France!
Ah, but I once promised a French sex toy study (and a revelatory exposé, naturally), but that’s no small feat long distance. And it requires properly researched references in France, of course. I am nothing if not a stickler for facts, like any good journalist. But I’d welcome a lively discussion of the delicious fantasies hidden in your virtual (or actual) goody closet, some that you may have dared to enact in conjunction with connubial communication, or perhaps in other romantic relationships.
And if your post marriage, I’d be curious to know if you have felt freer to explore, and to have fun with your sexuality. (I will confess, to get things rolling, that I certainly found post-marital marvels I missed before midlife! )
As for favorite fantasies and spectacle spectacles
I’ve encountered the glasses sexual fantasy more than a few times. Hugh Grant in those goggles? It was so silly that humor alone made me want to give him a tumble.
And yes, I’m happy to report that many men attest to a distinct affinity for a woman with nerdy glasses – and imagining what happens when they come off. If only I’d known that years ago to mitigate the childhood teasing and two decades of contacts!
So gentlemen – spill! Let’s hear your fantasies on spectacular spectacles, and their outrageous or adorable origins.
Might there be a recollection of a second grade crush on a sweet teacher? The secretary-morphs-into-vixen scenario, circa 1955? Are chignon and hairpins a requirement? (I’ve got them. Will it help my love life??)
Does anyone else remember “How to Marry a Millionaire” when blind-as-a-bat Marilyn Monroe finally puts on her glasses, and the man who adores her says she looks beautiful?
Strange sources of attraction
I don’t kiss and tell, but you can bet that lingerie and great shoes are part of my grownup playtime. I also adore unexpected locales (within reason). But believe it or not, there’s nothing quite so hot as a good man in comfortable jeans with a big smile of appreciation.
Isn’t that what we all want? To be seen and savored for who we are?
So tell me –
- What draws you to your lover or spouse?
- Do you believe the old adage that opposites attract?
- What fantasy foibles do you still imagine in your ideal partner?
- For those who wear glasses, are you getting passes?
The title of your post is from my favorite poet of all time! The marvelous Dorothy Parker! I think men make passes at women who wear glasses if there is a lot going on behind those glasses
In what is less than complete admission here, I will say I wear glasses and do get passes.
The Dorothy Parker quote was a nice surprise this morning! I definitely am attracted to those completely opposite of me. It’s like a walk on the wild side. Plus, you can pretend to be someone a little less like yourself when you know the other person is leagues less like you — if that makes sense.
However, for long-term relationships, I’ve found that while opposites still attract, extreme differences can cause more problems than they’re worth. I like that my mountain man is very different in some ways, but just like me in others. Balance FTW!
I completely believe in the old adage that opposites attract!! Though my boyfriend and I have similar tastes in food, books, and art (and most importantly–politics), we couldn’t be more different in personality and in our general approach to life. He makes me look at things differently, is skilled where my talents are lacking, and gives me a good kick in the butt when I need a butt-kicking most. I’m finding out that whats most important is what happens when we disagree—it may sound strange, but “being good” and fighting with with each other is what saves us time and time again!
If I found I couldn’t travel with someone, that would definitely be a deal-breaker.
And for the record, Justin definitely thinks I’m cute in my glasses :).
Justin thinks I’M cute.
It’s funny, I never make passes at women in glasses. It just doesn’t turn my head. What do I like? Dark hair, olive skin, nice hips and butt… and a huge smile.
What attracts me…men who make me laugh and engage my mind. Of course there has to be physical chemistry. I tend to like men with light skin and dark hair, and if they have blue eyes – watch out! While I feel that opposites attract, for me, at least for long term, it just doesn’t work out. As far as glasses, I wear glasses and if men can’t see past the glasses and see ME, then they might just be missing something.
If we are going strictly on looks at first sight here, what attracts me to a man?
Nice teeth. I always take a 2nd look at a man with awesome teeth.
And going beyond that … a sense of humor. So damn important.
Glasses are cute, methinks, on men and women. I have a feeling men dig them on women in their fantasies more than they admit to.
Seeing Tina Fey made me think of Sarah Palin and Husband’s comment in the summer of 2008 that she had the “hot librarian” thing going on. So maybe her trademark glasses did up her sex appeal, at least to Husband. (He’s a college professor, though, so maybe he is naturally drawn to the bookish look.)
I am a committed wearer of contact lenses. The prescription in my glasses is so out-of-date that I wouldn’t be able to see any passes I might get while wearing them.
For me, sense of humor, intelligence, and kindness are the sexiest qualities in men. Luckily, Husband has them in spades – oh, and a cute butt.
First off, what’s that reference to objets d’art? Oh, never mind I think I get it now, as in nude paintings, sculptures, that sort of thing? I think I was confusing them with sex toys for a milli-second. Ahem. (I really did.)
A beautiful smile.
No moodiness which makes me wonder either what did I do wrong or you poor thing let me see how I can exert what little energy I have left to cheer you up for what ever reason you’re not happy. No Never.
Cliche or not, he has to be funny — not a clown, but dry, witty, droll.
Nice, immaculately clean hands, preferably without fur.
Smell delicious.
Considerate, thoughtful, intelligent (vital), interesting and interested in others.
Thinks I’m the center of his world. I know, I know, but why not?
I agree about same political leanings, it makes life so much less complicated.
There really does have to be chemistry.
I’m sure there’s more, but that’s all I can think of for the moment.
Tishx
I used to wear contacts more than glasses. But for the past, oh, say 4 or 5 years (see any correlations?) I’ve worn my glasses. Red frames. Not nerdy. Intellectual? I don’t know. They just help me SEE.
Yes on the jeans, for my sweetie at least. I’ve written (yes, on the blog) of the first moment I saw him and how I remember that moment SO clearly, even though it was more than 13 years ago and even though we didn’t start dating until more than a year and a half after THAT MOMENT. It wasn’t love at first sight. But it WAS attraction. Just an overall imprint in my mind. The jeans. The walk. The confident shyness. Or the timid confidence. I still haven’t figured that one out. But, here we are. Still attracted. (I hope!)
I just found out today my daughter needs glasses! So I hope that (MUCH later in life) this rings true for her. I’ve never really thought women in glasses were any less attractive than women without.
As for what attracts me to a man? Broad Shoulders. Other than that, the ability to make me laugh. I don’t like pretty men. In fact I think I probably write most men who are above average looking off as being assholes first thing. Shallow of me, I know, but I’ve never been into a guy who is “hot”. Gimme average any day, that way I don’t have to worry about him when I’m not around.
So many things draw me to my hot husband. His red hair. His serious look. His sexy jeans, of course. The one thing that always gets me is his 5:00 shadow. Oh, my.
I have to disagree with “opposites attract.” After a while, it would drive each partner crazy. Think about it: NRA vs. PETA. I don’t think so. Something that makes my relationship with my husband so wonderful is our similarities. We have enough differences to shake things up, but when it comes to big relationship issues (like finances, kids) we are pretty much hand-in-hand.
My husband is my ideal partner : ).
Wow, yet another post of yours that makes me blush a bit
Not a crime, huh? What’s sexy? Confidence, a good smile, a good butt (thanks, Kristen), a robust sense of humor, a deep love for a woman who blogs obsessively…
I am not sure I believe in Ideal and then I look at my man and girls and realize that I do.
Thanks for this reminder and for making me think!
It has been a LONG day and sitting down to read this is a perfect ending to it.
It is funny what attracts me. I know I love intelligent women, but I have had encounters with the “dim” ones too. I appreciate a slim firm body, but I have had the normal ones too. Blues eyes, green eyes, brown eyes – if they are looking at me – who cares (glasses or not.) Hair? Blond, Brunette, Black, Blue, Grey.. I have had them all.
One thing that vexes me. More than one friend has said it to me each time a relationship fails in my life: I am attracted to the ones I can’t have
I said to a friend “every woman I touch seems to turn to stone.” Her response was, “Not every woman you touch turns to stone, you just want the ones that do.”
Unfortunately, I fear that is my answer to your question.
yes: glasses. yes: passes. would not want a pass from a man who would find glasses a deterrent anyway! (the better to see you with, my dear!)
Christ almighty, I canNOT keep up with all of these posts, all of these blogs… I’m finally back to make a comment and you’ve written ANOTHER post. Sheesh…
I had to wait until I could find a nice quiet alone place to respond to this sassy post. I’m blushing as I write…For me, it’s all (or almost all) about confidence. If a guy swaggers into a room, head held high, easy way about him… I’m smitten. And a nice smile (with good teeth) doesn’t hurt.
The one thing that will kill a guy’s hotness… bad sense of humor. If he doesn’t get mine or doesn’t have his own. It’s done.
And glasses… as long as they’re stylish and fit his face. It’s all good.
Oh, and definitely opposites can attract and should attract! The only way I can get away with my snarkiness is because my husband is so nice!
Great post… once again!
Oh, what a post…I would be soooo good at this answer if I were 3/4 drunk (paging Sarah and her LED light…) and/or in person. So hmmmm…
What’s attractive? A man who walks the line between confident and cocky. Some edge to him is necessary. If he can look like he might be dangerous or rough but is actually sweet as hell…good father and a romantic…oh, what a catch. And some nice longish hair helps. Think Johnny Depp. I got lucky, actually, I married a guy just like that (no, not actually Johnny Depp).
I love a man with good hands. Not dainty, but just calloused enough to know that he’s not afraid to do some work with them. Whatever that work may be!
Attraction is fascinating. There’s inexplicable chemistry, that feeling that you’ve know someone all your life, or in some past life, before you even get to know them—that feeling of easy comfort and familiarity to bridge the alienating feeling of otherness.
I find that opposites AND sameness attracts, and that in every love affair or relationship there are at least four people: the two lovers and the two anima/animus projections. The other who seems to complete us helps us discover those aspects we consciously lack, while the kindred spirit helps us locate our soul beyond the melancholic confines of our singularity.
The older and calmer I get the more I see beauty practically everywhere. Shame I couldn’t have that view when I was young, maybe I’d have been one of the confident guys; but then maybe I’d merely have racked up a lot of bad karma?
As Oscar Wilde said, “If you haven’t seen the beauty in something you haven’t seen it.”
Boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses. They also don’t make make passes at girls who are blind.
Dare I say that boys – and men – don’t make passes at many funny, loving, intelligent, and spirited women? Dare I suggest that smart men do? (If only there were more smart men in our country. Or more women who dared to make the passes?)
Hmmm… I see that no one fully bit on your question about sexual fantasies. I’m a bit old for that now (mostly meaning that at this age I’ve had opportunity to work that out of my system). And I won’t tell tales, because others were involved. Now my fantasy is to get away with my wife for some great time alone together, which we do.