I’m hearing noises. No kidding. Scary noises.
It’s not quite dark and though it’s breezy, branches scratching against the windows, these are other noises. Scrambling, scurrying, creature noises, overhead. And I’ve been hearing these sounds for about two weeks. Now let’s face facts – while I don’t drink absinthe (which may scramble anyone’s sense of reality), I admit to an overactive imagination, sleep deprivation, and caffeine excess. Nonetheless, I have to ask – are there squirrels in the attic, or am I losing my marbles?
Squirrels
I do believe there are furry tailed acorn nibblers square dancing overhead. The alternatives? Ghosts. Raccoons. Bats.
(Shudder.)
Any advice on squirrel control? Maybe I ought to find some ear plugs and call it a day, and night?
Rodents
Theoretically, it could be mice. Or rats. Or who knows what.
(Double shudder.)
This is when I wish I had a hulking someone in my life – preferably in the next room – who would go boldly where I will not… and check out the noises in my attic. Any volunteers to stop by with assorted cages and mitts to track down whatever is living up there? Who am I gonna call? Ghostbusters?
Marbles
Maybe there’s nothing in the attic. Maybe I could bury my head in the proverbial sand awhile longer. Maybe I will chalk it up to losing my marbles after all. Speaking of which – whatever happened to collecting marbles? And what is the actual origin of the expression “losing your marbles” anyway?
I didn’t care for the game as a kid, but I loved the marbles themselves – agate and rose quartz, jade and onyx, crystal spheres that were smooth to the touch. I had some beauties that I kept in a small blue box once upon a time, but they’ve long since disappeared. Yes, I’ve lost my marbles, dammit.
Humane removal
Back on point: check this out! Apparently this man is the educational squirrels-in-the-attic expert. After reading his site, I’m now convinced there’s a little family teething on my stacked heels, strappy sandals, and other shoes stored in boxes under the rafters of the roof. Surely they’ll be munching on the electrical wires next, and that’s bad news.
I wonder if the squirrel guru is available in my area. Besides, his site features squirrel poetry! Now that’s a winning combination. Humane rodent removal + critter verse. What more could a girl want?
Help!
- Anyone have any critters-in-the-attic removal experience?
- Can you relocate them, without hurting them?
- Must I make them a tent city for winter?
Hmm. I wonder if I could bribe them out onto the roof with chocolate.
I had a squirrel get in through the heating vent on the roof once and it found it’s way all the way down to the basement furnace. I called the animal removal guy who caught a squirel but it was NOT the one that got in my house! We found the little sucker MUCH later under the furnace and after he had torn up the mechanical room (thank God it was small and enclosed). I had to call a guy friend to remove the thing – I couldn’t bring myself to look past the tail that was sticking out from underneath.
Good luck!
PS – I knew how he got in b/c I heard him enter and then travel the length of the house. It was frightening.
I may have some myself right now… or they may be roof rats, not sure. I had a squirrel before, but I scared him out and blocked the hole he was using to get in. I haven’t heard whatever it is in a few weeks… but the acorns raining and crashing down on the roof may be masking the other noises. Most of those things like peanut butter. You can get one of those humane traps, put some peanut butter in and see what shows up for dinner. 🙂
Stories of wee furry beasties?
I’ve been hearing scratchy, scrabbling noises coming from above the bedroom ceiling for a couple of days now. It’s probably mice but could also be a rat or a squirrel since we have those in abundance outside.
I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage to go up into the attic and investigate before I call out the pest controller.
Whichever flavour of rodent’s responsible – their days are numbered. I have no sentiment or mercy when it comes to destructive furry things and their parasites invading my space. I’m happy to live and let live – until they cross that boundary – then it’s a case of whatever it takes to get rid of the wee buggers.
Last year we had a lot of building work done on the house and for some reason a piece of wood wasn’t replaced under the eaves. A rat managed to get into the house and spent several weeks between the ceilings of the ground floor and the floors of the first story. We assume he must have died in situ as the most dreadful bluebottle invasion ensued a few weeks later. Useful things, maggots.
Then there was the Xmas I discovered that all the chocolate pennies I’d been hoarding had disappeared. Six of those net bags worth! My then teenage son got the blame – until I investigated further and found tiny scraps of gold foil and plastic bag. Mice!
Our house is adjacent to farmland so there’s a plethora of wildlife outside our back door. We have an annual race to see who gets to the hazel nuts first; the squirrels usually win.
And finally … we had a young bat inside the house one evening. I know they come with their own set of parasites but she was rather sweet and very terrified.
We worked out that she’d probably lost her way home and had come through the open bedroom window at dawn, spending the day sleeping in the folds of the curtains. I’d closed the window before going to work and she’d woken up in the evening, to find her egress barred. She found her way downstairs and flew frantically around the living room before we managed to get a large bedsheet and usher her towards an open window.
A bit of research after the event showed that we should have just opened the windows and left the room. All our flapping around just confused her echo-location and prolonged her panic.
A raccoon in the attic would be perfect for Halloween. The sound a raccoon makes pulling himself through the insulation mush sounds a lot like a human crawling overhead.
Slowly. Carefully… to avoid putting an elbow or a knee through the drywall.
Whuuush. Whuuush.
BOO!
Hmmmm, well if we’re telling stories, I can tell you that chicken hawks can be ushered out with bedsheets as well, but stay clear of those claws!! Baby snakes can, will and do! climb down drier vents after momma leaves her eggs in the attic. (A golf putter or other semi-long stick with a T end can be used to pin them and a set of good gloves can carry them safely to the woods.) There is NO humane way to get mice out of the house. They’re just too smart. It’s live with them or poison them… sorry, but it’s true. Squirrels are much like mice. Most have enough experience with us humans and our traps to stay the hell out of them… although they’re apparently not smart enough to not drown in a pool??? and shovels work well for removing rodent carcasses of all kinds. Awww, the joys of living in the boonies… Now I have to go yell at the dogs to get the h-e-double hockey sticks off my roof…
P. S. Any bats in the belfry, just send them my way… they eat mosquitoes… I love bats!
Let me know how the chocolate bribery plan works. There used to be squirrels in the ceiling at my parents’ place and it was terrible. Sorry! Let me know whether you find your marbles 🙂
Funny thing is this week at brunch with some friends, the conversation was about squirrels and they’re getting into attics. Problem is there are flying squirrels as well. Consensus was to find all the holes during the daytime when they are out and before they hibernate. There may be more than one hole. Put metal over the holes to keep them from chewing through. If one is trapped inside, then call an exterminator or wait out the smell of decaying corpse.
Now, if anyone has any suggestion for a snake in the walls…
The most common complaint that I deal with regarding squirrels is that they have invaded an attic or crawlspace. They will often chew a hole to get inside. Mother squirrels bear young twice a year, and they love to use an attic as a nest. Once inside the home, they chew, causing damage to wood, electrical lines, which can create a fire hazard. We always recommend humane trapping and relocation. One way exit traps rarely work for squirrel removal because they can simply chew right back inside.