Yep. It’s driving me crazy. That big bag, well, huge actually. Purchased 24 hours ago, and still unopened in the pantry. But I know it’s there. And it’s killing me.
Yes indeed – we stand on the brink of another great American candy holiday – every figure-watching, chocolate-addicted woman’s nightmare!
(And I do allow for the fact that it isn’t just the ladies who love the dark stuff. But let’s be frank – there’s something about women and chocolate. It gets us buzzing, overheated, and mmmm, in the mood for tasting all kinds of sweet things.)
Preventative protective strategy
This year I was particularly clever, or so I thought. I waited until the very last moment to buy Halloween candy. And that was yesterday. But then what did I do? Oh, I couldn’t help myself – I heard the siren song, the cooing, coaxing… I fell victim to the charms of the super sexy super-size-me 27 oz. variety pack from Hershey’s!
Seduction, thy name is Reese’s, Kit Kat, Almond Joy. And what can I say about the classic? The Hershey bar itself? Milk chocolate or with almonds, it’s the Cary Grant of American chocolate. And what self-respecting woman (or movie viewer) doesn’t adore Archibald Leach in all his splendor and mouth-watering forms?
Legal maternal addiction
Just typing out the names of those seducers raises the temperature in my little boudoir as I tap tap tap out my morning musing, sipping my espresso roast (black), and knowing how utterly sinful a chocolate indulgence would be at this tender hour. And how divine.
Why do we have so many candy holidays in this country, anyway? Valentine’s Day with its romantic heart-shaped boxes filled with bonbons (the half-off bin in the supermarket on February 15th), Easter with all those brightly colored foil-wrapped chocolate eggs… It’s a candy conspiracy! Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig… are you in cahoots with Hershey??
Halloween – the worst of all…
Is chocolate one of the major food groups?
Then there’s candy corn. Not chocolate, but damn. Addictive little devils.
OK. I’m going to have to leave the house. It’s the only solution. I’ll stay out and write, or research. I’ll hope no baby boomer babblers bother me at Barnes and Noble. I’ll try to get through this evening, and make it until tomorrow night without breaking into the Halloween stash. Then I just have to worry about how much is left over, when the evening’s trick-or-treating festivities are finished.
Until then, I’ll try not to imagine the Hershey’s in the pantry. Instead, I’ll ponder happy little faces in masks and make-up, jack-o-lanterns, pumpkin patches. And my skinny jeans.
- Am I the only parent who looks on this holiday with dread?
- How do you survive chocolate-a-plenty all over your house?
- (And which candies are irresistible to you, when the urge hits?)