• Home
  • About
  • Around
  • Contributors
  • Applause

Daily Plate of Crazy

  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Love
    • Marriage
    • Divorce
    • Life After Divorce
  • Parenting
    • Advice
    • Babies and Kids
    • Tweens and Teens
    • College Kids
    • Single Moms
    • Older Moms
    • Dads
    • Family Dynamics
    • Money Matters
    • Work-Life
  • Health
  • Sex
  • Women’s Issues
  • Fashion & Style
    • Chaussures
    • Fashion
    • Style
    • Lingerie
    • Interiors
  • Culture
  • More
    • Art Art Art
    • Business
    • En Français
    • Entertainment
      • Mad Men
      • Mad Men Reviews
      • Real Housewives
      • Movies
      • Celebrities
      • Work of Art Reviews
    • Flash
    • Food & Recipes
    • Lifestyle
    • Morning Musing
    • Starting Over
    • Technology
    • Travel
    • Women and Money
You are here: Home / Love / Light Bulb

Light Bulb

August 13, 2009 by D. A. Wolf 12 Comments

Light BulbYou know that flash of recognition when you just “get it?” It’s almost physical – the sensation of understanding – really understanding an important piece of information, or the significance of an event. As if a light is turned on.

That sort of epiphany can be good or bad, satisfying or bittersweet.  Any number of emotions characterize our moments of realization.

The Car Keys

The other day when I was writing, my elder son knocked on my door and asked for the car keys.

We’re a one-car household. The routine is clear: he asks permission, provides details on where he’s headed, and we agree on when he’s to be home, even if he has friends in tow who will stay here overnight.

He took one look at me – I had the disheveled look of “she hasn’t moved all day,” and he could tell I wasn’t processing what he said.

“May I take the car?” he repeated.

“Where are you going?”

He told me. I said fine. Then he asked if I was okay. I muttered something about my captioning HTML and lack of sleep with the new school schedule, and that I forgot to eat again.

“It’s 5 o’clock,” he said. “Do you want me to make you something before I go?”

He had a look of concern on his face – that face I’ve watched change from round and wide-eyed to this young man – lean, intense, mischievous. Worldly.

He leaves for college in a few weeks, and will celebrate his 18th birthday there, 900 miles away, with new friends, in a new life. His life.

“I’m okay,” I said. “Have fun.”

car keysHe left. Five minutes later he was back with a turkey sandwich – exactly the way I like it.

And then he went out.

More Than a Sandwich

The light bulb moment: He really is leaving.

Soon.

This is my little boy, nearly a man, who has always been mature beyond his years.  The 6-year old who took care of me when I was ill.  The 7-year old who waited 5 hours in line with me, as we told each other stories,  the day of the Antiques Roadshow.

This is the 8-year old who stood up on the playground against a bully, protecting his baby brother. The 9-year old who was beginning to understand that our family would never be the same after divorce. But I wasn’t to worry – at 10, he promised he’d never leave me. He would build a house in the back yard and live there with his wife and children. I remember thanking him, and telling him it was okay if he later changed his mind.

Pride, Memories, Lessons

At 12, my son insisted I begin dating, and suggested Match.com. (I had to stifle the smile; he was so earnest – and specific!)

At 13 he took care of me after emergency surgery, and a few weeks later, held me as I wept, after my mother’s sudden passing.

At 14 he was traveling Europe on his own. At 15, he biked hundreds of miles around this city – school, errands – all without complaint, because we had no car, and no means to afford one. At 16, he studied in France on a scholarship, attending French high school in a tiny country town.

No angel, this same young man is the source of my share of gray hair, thanks to his share of  teenage antics. But he sets off for a great university with $150,000 in scholarship, earned through his smarts, leadership, and hard work.

I could not be more proud.

His Road

I have raised my sons to dream big, to give love, and tough out hard times. I’ve made mistakes I can’t undo, and some things, I know I’ve done well.

Half my most important job is ending; my younger son is now demanding the spotlight – rightfully – and will own it over the next two years.

But my firstborn’s light will shine elsewhere. As it should. And his imminent departure is sinking in. It’s a realization that is, indeed, bittersweet.

 

You May Also Enjoy

  • My Son, the Factory Worker
  • My Son, the Office Worker
  • Calling Home

 

FacebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinmailFacebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinmail

Filed Under: Love, Morning Musing, Parenting Tagged With: empty nest, parenting teens, single moms, Single Parenting

Comments

  1. teambaby says

    August 13, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Wow, this almost made ME cry, and I don’t even know him or you!

    Reply
  2. dadshouse says

    August 13, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    Sounds like a wonderful young man. You did good raising him!

    Reply
  3. jason says

    August 13, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    nice!

    Reply
  4. Timothy says

    August 13, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    Congratulations on a job well done. It’s hard to let go, but so necessary. And that sandwich — it must have been hard to eat something so precious as that.

    Reply
  5. Franco says

    August 13, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    Raising kids after all the years, the love, the trials and tribulations of divorce, just to see one leave, must not be easy. As a parent, you do the best you can, and you give them all you have to offer. They do know that.

    One thing is for sure, kids are forever.

    Reply
  6. Single Mom Seeking says

    August 13, 2009 at 11:41 pm

    Wow, this has me in tears. Deep breath. So beautiful. You are such a great mama.

    At http://www.singlemommyhood.com tomorrow (Friday) afternoon, we’re writing about saying goodbye to our kids — because that’s part of parenting, right? I’m going to link to you. I just have to!

    Reply
  7. Joelle GK says

    August 18, 2009 at 9:41 am

    He sounds amazing – and that he’ll be a great son as a grown man and a great spouse/partner for some very lucky person.

    Beautiful post.

    Reply
  8. carma says

    March 2, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    sounds like you’ve raised a fine young man there; I’ll be a wreck once mine moves out; will have to pick up a few new hobbies I suppose.

    Yes, my son does Diabolo too – marks all over the foyer walls 😉

    here’s his latest diabolo video:

    http://www.youtube.com/aussiediabolo#p/a/u/1/S9gouvTxRQM

    his username is aussiediabolo

    Reply
    • BigLittleWolf says

      March 2, 2010 at 6:34 pm

      Oh, too cool! I will definitely look at your son’s diabolo video. (My 18-year old is the source of the ceiling marks – and is quite good. My 16-year old is getting good as well, and is now teaching our 17-year old Latvian guest. It’s pretty fabulous stuff – especially when they get LED lights for the diabolos, and start performing at night.)

      Fabulous video! (Just sent the link to my elder son.)

      Reply
  9. Michelle Zive says

    August 13, 2010 at 12:16 am

    Wow, thank you for sharing your amazing boy with us and your amazing experience of letting him go. I (we) could learn so much from the grace both your son and yourself have practiced. You’re right. We had our children for 18 years (17 in your case), it’s time for them to shine out there in the world. The world is so blasted lucky to have them!

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. 9-16-2009 Picks of the Week | Radical Parenting says:
    September 16, 2009 at 11:12 am

    […] Light bulb: A mom’s moment of realization: time for her teen to fly the nest. […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

 

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Follow Us

FacebooktwitterrssinstagramFacebooktwitterrssinstagram

Search Daily Plate of Crazy

Subscribe for Your Daily Serving

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Categories

Archives

Recent Comments

  • Anonymous on Does Effort Matter If You Don’t Get Results?
  • D. A. Wolf on Mantras
  • D. A. Wolf on Over 50, Unemployed, Depressed and Powerless
  • Marty on When You Marry a Loner
  • Tina on Would You Brag About Your Age?
  • Sal on Over 50, Unemployed, Depressed and Powerless
  • Open More Doors If You Want More Skills - 3 Plus International on Open More Doors If You Want More Skills
  • Leonora C on Over 50, Unemployed, Depressed and Powerless
  • Maree on Mantras
  • kate on DON’T Call Me Dear!
  • Stephanie on Narcissism. Manipulation. Keeping Score.
  • S on When a Couple Wants Different Things

The Makeover Series

Daily Plate of Crazy: The Makeover Series

Essays From Guest Writers

Daily Plate of Crazy: Essay Series

Daily Reads

Daily Plate of Crazy Blogroll

Follow

Follow

Notices

All content on this site, DailyPlateOfCrazy.com, is copyrighted by D. A. Wolf unless copyright is otherwise attributed to guest writers. Do not use, borrow, repost or create derivative works without permission.

© D. A. Wolf 2009-2025. All Rights Reserved.

Parlez-vous francais?

Daily Plate of Crazy: En Français

© D. A. Wolf 2009-2025
All Rights Reserved

Daily Plate of Crazy ™

Privacy Notice

Popular This Month

  • 50 Years old and Starting Over
  • Best Places to Live When You're Over 50 and Reinventing
  • When the Person You Love Is Emotionally Unavailable
  • When a Couple Wants Different Things
  • How to Comfort Someone Who Is Stressed

Food for Thought

  • Why I Choose to Think Like a Man
  • When You Marry a Loner
  • Emotionally Needy Parents
  • Sex vs. Lovemaking: Why Are We So Confused?
  • Think Looks Don't Pay?
  • Rebranding Mediocrity: Why Good Enough Isn't Good Enough

Copyright © 2025 · Metro Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

This site uses cookies for the best browsing experience. By continuing to use this site, you accept our Cookie Policy.
Cookie SettingsACCEPT
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT