Imagine my surprise when last evening on Anderson Cooper 360, one of my fave journalists put the final flourishes on his show by talking about getting “punched in the face” – to look younger.
That is to say that Cooper’s Ridiculist described a Thai tradition which has recently made the news. It was the subject of our intrepid reporter’s derision interest.
It seems this practice is handed passed down from generation to generation, involving a bristling brisk and stupefying stimulating series of slaps on the face for the purpose of retaining a youthful countenance.
Sound silly?
Not necessarily so. At the very least, it may be profitable!
Face slapping services start at $350 for one treatment, and for the striking small sum of just $1,000 – you can be the startled satisfied recipient of a full set of face slapping techniques!
Wow.
And to think I always considered face slapping the stuff of Cary Grant movies. Or maybe Doris Day. Very mid-century-I’m-insulted-so-I’m-slapping-you-now. Well color me red-faced in embarrassment! Might this be the alternative to Botox and other cosmetic procedures we’ve been looking for to stay ever dewy in appearance and not the ugly duckling?
Just how far would you go for youth and beauty? A little filler? A tweak? A smack in the head?
According to the CNN report, there is no medical evidence that face slapping produces the desired effects, though “doctors concede it might improve circulation.”
The best part of this report was Cooper’s preface as he expressed his belief that women shouldn’t have to wax, tweeze, primp and so on – as he considers the emphasis on externals excessive. (Might we sign him up to advocate for the Brave New Beauty Revolution?)
The silver-tongued-haired journalist also reflected on society’s pressure on women when it comes to “unrealistic beauty standards” which he termed “a slap in the face.”
So intriguing was this topic, I rolled up my midlife arm-covering sleeves in preparation for a serious bout of searching online, minutes hours of inquiry, and eventually unearthing illuminating reportage. Here’s what I found on face slapping from the NY Daily News:
A Thai beauty technique known as face-slapping “helps with wrinkles, makes your face slimmer and makes your pores smaller,” according to Mawan Sombuntham, who co-owns Tata Massage in San Francisco.
He swears his wife Tata can smack any face into shape — for $350.
Think it works? Would you try it? Might you find yourself standing in front of a mirror and slapping yourself silly? What’s a little pain in the name of beauty?
But let’s not stop there! In a cheeky savvy marketing move, it seems the face isn’t the only booty body part to be covered by slapping services in the future.
Next on the hit parade?
Firming the derrière, via butt-punching.
Huh. Will they partner with Spanks while they’re at it?
I recently saw a report on TV about a man who hired a girl via Craigs List to slap him in the face to keep him on task with his work. When I saw this, I thought it was a crazy idea. So, his reason had nothing to do with beauty, but he paid for the face slapping. Personally, I was unaware of this Thai practice. I can’t believe people pay hundreds of dollars for it. And if I am going to pay for a service to improve my face, I think I’d prefer a good facial massage. Funny post!
Wouldn’t a cup of coffee or two have been easier (and more economical) for the gentleman who availed himself of “wakefulness slapping?”
People are so entertaining, Robin, aren’t they?
My daughter (accidentally) slapped me in the face this morning. I’m glad she didn’t realize she could charge an arm (ha!) and a leg for her services!
🙂 🙂
My first instinct is to say that I’m sensing a business opportunity, but on second thought, I suspect supply will outstrip demand. Although personally, I don’t think I could actually slap someone, and especially not a woman. (It feels wrong to even write about this…..)
But your cheeky closing certainly transmits ideas…..
Just laughing at your comment, Robert! The puns, oh the
bunspuns…Last line-perfect!
I buy a little bottle of Oil of Olay, it seems to be sufficient.
Non-violent skin care. That sounds much better to me, Walker. 😉
So many jokes about marriage counseling doubling as facial rejuvenation.
Not funny in domestic abuse light, but still snickering…
🙂 I know what you mean, Naptime. (Hand “slapped” across my mouth to utter none of the above.)