My year?
Mixed bag.
2011 started off with some mighty mountainous tasks, and Sisyphus himself would have had a little chuckle as the boulder held the upper hand. But the months plodded along all the same and there were unexpected highs (Hello – a big scholarship to college for my son!), seemingly unending lows (Can you spell Recessionary Bank Balance?), and everything in between (Trust me on that one).
As for the in between in general, I try to follow my own advice which includes “never assume.” But more specifically, it involves saying yes to every plausible opportunity to expand my world. And a few that appear to be less plausible.
That approach requires pushing myself in directions that challenge me, continuing to write daily (even when tired), and recognizing that an attitude of “yes” doesn’t negate the requirement for no or the recognition of tangible and occasionally daunting obstacles.
But one yes may lead to another and another and then a passel of yeses that just might lead to a romantic surprise – to my astonishment! And with the odds (seemingly) stacked against women at midlife in that department, I consider this an extraordinary and precious gift.
Let this be among my irrepressible mantras: May I take nothing and no one for granted, and appreciate each good and ordinary moment – however long they may last.
My Sons, My Heart
The accomplishments of my younger son are what I will recall most in the first half of 2011: simply put, the college countdown. The young man in question persevered through his treacherous IB program, applied to nine colleges (!), prepared separate art portfolios for each (grueling and expensive), and was ultimately accepted to a school where he seems swamped but content. And then there’s that scholarship, thankfully, the prelude to which was nine separate financial aid application processes for the schools he applied to.
Yes, to do with the single parent dramas I’ve lived these many years. No, don’t ask.
What more can I say except that I’ve done my job, and provided the support system that is the job of the parenting profession.
Still, my inner voice reminds me: Never assume, and so I won’t. For now, his initial college experience is going well, and I’ll take pleasure in his pleasure, and leave it at that.
My elder is another story (and always has been); he is a global kid, a wise head, and is off to Switzerland in a few weeks to study through much of next year. He seems comfortable in his skin, excited about his opportunities, and ready to rock ‘n roll his way through Europe – and I can only imagine there will be multinational excursions and a few mash pits in the mix. He’s lived the European life before, but not for such an extended period.
And each of my boys will ring in the New Year with friends – and I hope, proud of their own accomplishments, and looking forward to the future.
Honoring Ourselves, Each Other, Our Dreams
As for me, following the hectic holidays I’m hoping for a small amount of downtime (though, as usual, I’ve yet to arrive at how or when). And I’m determined to put the proverbial nose to the grindstone in pursuit of both necessity (“Will Write for Food”) and dream (“Will Write for Passion”), and honoring the necessity of my dreams.
May I add that this year has continued to bring extraordinary spirits into my life through this medium?
Here I have found a community of readers and writers whom I appreciate more than I can express, and these hastily written words hardly seem sufficient. There are voices that are now well-known to me, like Kristen and Kitch, like Cathy and Bruce, like Tish and Gail and Lisa. There are new voices like Barbara and William, like Wolf and Pauline, like Kelly and Stacy and Team Gloria – and too many of you to mention by name but each of you, a treasure.
I toast you and what you continue to teach me with your eloquence and honesty, your open and questioning minds, your compassionate intentions, your savvy viewpoints, and simply by showing up – bravely. It seems to me that showing up is a great deal, and leads to opening up from which we all make progress in seeing our universal similarities, our tender vulnerabilities, and ultimately, our individual and collective strength.
Your 2011 in Review? Your Hopes for 2012?
But enough about me. What about you?
- Did you achieve something huge in the past year – even if “ordinary” to others? Something unexpected, or the result of years of sweat and heartache?
- Did you close a chapter or embark upon another? Perhaps several of each, with lessons learned?
- Are you struggling in the wake of sorrows and still trying to make your way through?
- Your 2011?
- Your plans for 2012?
So happy your year is closing on a positive note. It has been a challenging year in our household but we persevere! I wish you more than enough for 2012.
Thank you so much, Peg! And wishing you much joy in 2012.
You are right to be proud of your sons, that’s for certain. I suppose the good thing we did this year was buy a second hand RV – for cash – to manage future travel in Europe. It’s not as exciting as plane and train travel maybe, but perhaps it’s more sustainable. It’s a new adventure for us and we’ll decide if we like it or not over the next couple of years. On the down side, an old friend passed away unexpectedly a couple of months ago and it’s made me look at my mortality, at our ages, and realise that some doors are closing. I think I’m OK with that, but it’s also a little scary. I hope to get back on track with my running or something else that will get me fit again. I know I can’t turn back the clock exactly, but I also know I’ve not done my best with this. So – onward and upward or something like that! Best wishes for 2012 – and I’m really honoured that you visit my blog.
Shelly, I always enjoy visiting your blog. I’m only sorry that I don’t do so more often! (That RV sounds both practical and fun. How I envy your ability to drive a few hours and change countries!)
All best for a wonderful 2012!
Difficult year in some ways because of a family issue and a tree fell on the house during a storm. But did manage to hike and camp in 101 degree weather, get arrested on Hiroshima Day, walk to the White House during fall break for GMO labeling, and participate in Occupy Philly. Fran and I are healthy, so no complaints. We’re definitely intending to downsize and eventually move to row house or the like. We have too much stuff. Fascinating stuff, but who wants to manage it all? Take a picture of it, save digital copy, and move on.
I think I bolloxed up my first comment, perfectly in keeping with my feelings of hopeless inability about summing anything up. I do want to express my love and gratitude for you, BLW, and for this community, as well as for the myriad things that have transpired this past year, personal and collective. I find myself returning, turning, to Wordsworth whose words might more than suffice to say what I cannot quite…
The clouds that gather round the setting sun
Do take a sober colouring from an eye
That hath kept watch o’er man’s mortality;
Another race hath been, and other palms are won.
Thanks to the human heart by which we live,
Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears,
To me the meanest flower that blows can give
Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.
Gorgeous, Bruce. Thank you.
I’ve been alighting and reading but not commenting much recently; your articles have been great and I marvel at your daily output all the time. Well done and Happy New Year!
Delightful of you to stop by. And a very happy New Year to you and yours well, batticus!
You continue to inspire me. When I think about what you’ve endured and how your family is thriving, I know anything’s possible. I look forward to seeing what’s in store for you in 2012. Thanks for all your support!
Likewise, April!
Looking back is often a gift. The gift of reliving the joys, recognizing lessons learned, realizing we met the challenges and survived the troubles. Building our life history, adding to our resume as a person.
I agree, Carol. Looking back can be very sweet – and also instructive. (Lovely to have you stop by. And happy new year!)
Nothing clicks for me this year Wolfie. So I did a lame crop circle projects for 2012 post. Happy New Year sweetie.
What more can I say except that I’ve done my job, and provided the support system that is the job of the parenting profession.
This is so huge, and so much of the time we fail to give ourselves credit for huge accomplishments because they are somehow assumed, and not part of our outward ambitions.
BLW, I’m grateful for this blog, and for those I’ve met through it and through you. And most grateful for you yourself and the way friendship can happen through distance between people who know each other only through words.
Thank you, Wolf.
I’m honestly not sure about my 2011. It had it’s fair share of crap but maybe that’s all that’s coming to mind. I did have a couple breakthrough moments. I don’t know, it’s kind of good to come off such a psycho year- sets the bar low for the next one.
In our culture of excessive setting of the bar “high,” maybe setting goals more realistically (reasonably) is a good idea, Supermodel.
Something I have to work on, too. Maybe we could all support each other in that, and view these expectations as realistic rather than the more judgmentally charged “low.”
2011 was work! But work well worth putting in, even when it was grueling. Showing up, indeed, BLW. It makes all the difference in the end. No comment yet on 2012, though, until life settles again. And that means having a machine on which I can write my thoughts more comfortably — this borrowed one is too much not my own for me to make plans with. The hard drive on the former is truly dead, alas.
I’m glad to hear that your year was most decidedly up more than down when you stepped back to examine it. I’m not totally surprised, either, on your assessment given such huge victories for your family (that college scholarship!!!) and romance to boot. Precious gifts, which I’m so happy are yours