It’s not just about eating right, sleeping enough, or regular exercise.
It’s not just about washing your face and moisturizing a little, picking out the right Dior shadows for the lids, Lancome blush for the cheeks, Bobbi Brown for the lips.
It’s not about the perfect Little Black Dress. (Sorry, Coco.)
It’s more. So much more.
Ever notice that as you get just a little bit older, maintenance time – and cost – seem to sneak up on you? A few gray hairs give birth to an insistent hoard. Those attractive laugh lines transform into furrows suitable for seeding. The nails have become an annoyance – especially with typing and cleaning – and there’s tedious waxing, plucking that’s taxing, and you just want it all to go away!
Beauty regimen integrated seamlessly into every day life? Um, not so much. An increasing amount of irritation and effort? You betcha!
So at what point do we outgrow it – and know it?
What may be minor maintenance in our twenties and thirties becomes a “commitment” by our forties. Let’s just say – it starts to add up. If not the bucks, certainly the time. And speaking of time, just how many hours a day is “reasonable” to spend keeping ourselves up?
- How much do you spend on so-called beauty products?
- How much do you spend on fitness and related services?
- How much do you spend on clothes – especially those intended to offer up a little jolt to the opposite sex?
- How much time does it take?
Maybe a little feminine maintenance is so much a part of your routine, you don’t give it a second thought. You feel better – about everything – including your performance at work, your dealings with your family, and certainly, when it comes to being your sexy self.
Maybe you’re a Boomer – or close – and dating is the reason you expend the time and trouble. It’s a matter of packaging the product, and it’s a competitive space – especially for women of a certain age. No show? No go.
I admit there are days when I couldn’t care less how I look, when I think about the money to address those annoying silver hairs, the expenditure on make-up (though I don’t wear a great deal), and the time involved in getting ready for a date. It all seems like more bother than it’s worth. But ultimately, I feel better about me when I know that I look better.
Speaking of hair, that’s one thing that I make time for – wearing it long, even as a somewhat “older” woman, makes me feel sexy.
And apparently, my luscious locks are one of my assets. So wouldn’t I want to use my assets to my advantage?
I still believe it is about feeling beautiful rather than “looking” beautiful – according to standards other than your own. Yet in the cost-benefit analysis of maintenance versus time and money, I’m still leaning toward doing the work it takes, so I feel good about the face I present to the world.
So where do you stand? Beauty for you, for self-confidence, for pride? Or beauty as cultural expectation – if you want to make a living or attract and retain a playful partner?
And what do you expect of the men in your life? An equal commitment to masculine maintenance?
© D A Wolf
Ahem. Well. Sometimes I feel like I’m eavesdropping on the girl’s locker room. But I must say that when my wife let her hair grow long recently, like it was when we met so many years ago, it made me very happy.
Yes to all. Beauty for me, for self-confidence, for pride and for my guy. I went a few months without much care to my outward appearance (I did just the basics but stopped trying as much as I used to) and I found that it affected my confidence and carriage quite a bit. It permeated other areas of my life, both professionally and sexually, and I realize now that it had to do with how I felt when I stepped into my clothes.
That’s why now, despite the pregnancy and feeling sluggish, just putting on a great outfit and some makeup elevates my mood. Anything to distract me from feeling the almost 9 months of my pregnancy is a good thing these days, like pairing boots with 3″ heels and tights. When I face the world looking good, I feel unstoppable. I even feel like I can lose the waddle 🙂
Is it really nearly 9 months already, Justine? It’s so much harder worrying about the exterior when you’re worrying about that particular little interior…
Money for clothes or looks – essentially zero (Fran cuts my hair). I guess there are water bills for showers. Time…lots, if you count outdoor exercise, the best beauty aid. Fran’s costs – close to zero. Thrift stores. Her hair is long and natural reddish blond. For anything up close, it’s easy. I just take off my glasses. OK, we’re strange, and see what works for you. This works for us.
Sigh. Yes aging sucks. And it costs more… I do know that exercise makes the most difference, and I have been trying to exercise more for myself, to have a happier old life. (My exercise more = 20 minutes on the machine twice a week… so don’t be too impressed. But as my female doctor told me: Anything is better than nothing…)
“A happier old life… ” (Love it.)