I recognized his writing immediately. His cursive was unmistakable. Even all these years later, I knew its wide, angular style.
He used to send love letters. I hadn’t seen them in years – not since the last time I was searching in my dresser and came across the small sheaf of envelopes tucked under photographs and scarves. I could never bear to throw them all away, even after I had married someone else.
And there they were. Two of them.
He was old school, and a romantic. He took pleasure in small gestures, in sending flowers to my office for no reason at all, in choosing restaurants thoughtfully, in stopping by my apartment on cold winter mornings with a steaming cup of take out coffee. And he wrote me letters.
Does anyone take to pen and paper anymore? What ever happened to the love letter?
Terms of Endearment
Sure, we communicate through tapping texts and emails on our mobile devices. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for communication of any sort. But I adore rereading the few letters I have from men I loved. Letters written by hand.
My grandparents exchanged letters during World War II, over the course of more than a year. My grandfather was stationed in the Pacific, while my grandmother held up the home front, taking care of three young children. Those letters form part of my family history. They’re fragile, tangible, and treasure.
What is evocative about abbreviations on an LED screen?
Cards, Notes, Histories
I’ve written by hand when I could – the birthday note with love, the letter brimming with emotion. Yet most of the men in my life have not done so, and I think that’s a shame.
Has the art of the love letter been lost? Are we so busy and so hooked on technology that we can’t construct a few sentimental sentences with paper and pen?
- Do men and women still write each other by hand?
- Do you have love letters from the past you’ve kept?
- Do you write letters with more care than you do emails or text?
- If we wrote by hand, would we be more thoughtful in our communications?
My ex wrote me poems and letters by hand, and that was one of the things that quickly endeared him to me. My current partner is a text and email freak, so the art of a handwritten note/love letter is lost on him, and it makes me wistful for days of yore. But at least he doesn’t use shorthand in his notes. Yes, a far cry from the texture of a note in my hands, but I’m grateful to receive any, LED or otherwise, as I now tend to focus on the sentiment and less on the vehicle. Besides it’s the tech geek in my boyfriend that I adore, so it’s easier for me to accept that the electronic messages are par for the course.
As for me, I still write old-fashioned love notes and thank you cards. And letters to my daughter on special occasions. Another way for me to preserve her past, archaic handwritten notes and all, for her.
I think it’s lovely for future generations to have these things. Tangible. Nice to know I’m not the only one!
When I was in middle school my science teacher’s husband hand-delivered a letter to her every Monday. It was usually over his lunch hour. I had her class right after my own lunch and we would always take note of him walking into the building and then leaving after dropping the note in her mailbox in the teacher’s lounge. I don’t know why she told us about this. But I do remember that she said that she took extra care to thank him for each and every note, and that it’s important to thank people for every single nice thing they do for you, even if it happens all the time. … Funny the things we remember from childhood.
There are wonderful lessons in this story, Gale. The importance of those notes, and the appreciation expressed for each and everyone. How lovely.
How I remember using handwritten letters just to keep up with pen pals! Usually they were friends who had moved away (or friends I had moved away from). I only recently unearthed a shoebox of collected correspondence, and yes, what treasures were there.
I still hand-write cards to my husband for birthdays and anniversaries. You’ve got me thinking now … little notes would be fun to leave here and there just because.
Little notes would be fun, CT! Quelle bonne idée.
For the two years that my man and I lived in separate states, I wrote him letters. We also emailed, telephoned, and IM’d, but I liked the personal touch of a letter when we were so far apart. He never wrote back, but I kept him around anyway. 🙂
I don’t get many letters anymore, but I still get cards from friends and family. Usually thank you cards for something my kids and I did. It’s a nice sentiment! We try to return the favor.
Love letters… ah, yes. I used to write those WAY back when… Now I just sexy text 😛
The rarer that written cards and letters become the more numinous they seem to me. I treasure, and keep, the love letters I’ve gotten from my wife; and this post made me think of the year that she wrote a little something that she appreciated about me, and about each of our boys, and then gave us these journals a year after she’d secretly done them. It wasn’t long ago that we found my younger son’s journal open by his bed, halfway through being re-read.
My mother recently sent me a letter she found, written from my dad to his mom as he was going off into the navy at eighteen during WW II, and it was just fascinating to see this other side of him (the devoted son to a woman I never met).
One of my favorites is a letter written by my mother-in-law’s long-gone relatives as they made their way to Montana in a covered wagon (“attacked by Indians today…”).
I probably would have written even more letters and cards than I have, except that a friend (who I trust) once told me that if he only saw my handwriting he would guess that I was developmentally delayed (and alas, I am). Maybe by my seventies I’ll even arrive at good penmanship.
Thanks for this post, it took me places.
“Attacked by Indians today…” – It sounds like you have real treasure in those family letters, Bruce. I love that you have these glimpses and other perspectives in family members from letters found.
My guy likes to leave me love notes. They are never full-fledged letters, but they are handwritten and spontaneous. I’ve saved every one, and each continues to make me feel fluttery and loved. Men could get much further with women if there was more of that in the world.
Kelly – “fluttery and loved.” Yes. (You raise a good point. We women aren’t really that complicated, when it comes to what we value in men.)
Rudri – yes, international aerogrammes! Do they still exist? They had such a special feel. And scent – you’re so right!
Stacia – “rapidly deteriorating penmanship” – so true! Is it that we’re getting older, or we write less often now? I’m so glad some of those letters survived from your time in France.
Nicki – “intoxicating” letters. Yum.
I love handwritten letters and often send little cards and notes to my loved ones. I wrote a similar post not so long ago. My mom used to receive International aerogrammes from her father and mother in India. I remember going to the mailbox to retrieve them and during the next few weeks, I remember watching my mom rereading those letters in various corners of the house. There is something about a letter that carries the touch and scent of a place and a person – something you can’t get with all of the technology in the world.
My husband and I wax sentimental (and practice our rapidly deteriorating penmanship) with birthday and anniversary cards. When I interned in France during college, we wrote letters to each other, and I still have most of those. In fact, I shipped several boxes of my stuff home so I could flit about in Paris for a week or two after my internship was done, and the boxes were torn apart during shipping. The postal people found one of his letters to me and contacted him about getting in touch with me to sort through my mostly ruined stuff. Amazingly, many of his letters survived unscathed. I had forgotten that story until just now. Thank you for jogging my memory, BLW!
Met a man online from the west coast when my marriage first broke up. He and I sent letters back and forth. They were intoxicating. He had a way with the written word.
If what I see coming out of higher education these days is any indication of the future of correspondence, we are all in for huge disappointments. I encourage, stress and require hand-written thank you notes to everyone my students encountered during their capstone project. Occasionally I’ll get one that is above average. Most of the communication during the semester is fraught with misspelled words and fragmented sentences. Text-speak is common even in the emails I get from students. I have a hard time seeing any of them hand writing a sentiment worthy of a keepsake!
Sad though, isn’t it?
When I was participating in online dating sites, if a man’s profile contained misspellings and text-speak, he was a “no go.” Looks were far less important to me than an appreciation of the written word.