When the phone rang yesterday afternoon, I couldn’t have been more delighted. I recognized the number immediately – it was my 18-year old son calling from Europe.
The last time we talked, he was fresh off 20 long hours of travel. He was weary, but excited to find himself overseas again. He was ready to begin his “first real job” in a bustling city filled with medieval architecture and contemporary nightlife.
A side benefit?
His cousins and grandparents were only an hour away.
Like mother, like son?
Drop my kid in France, or pretty much anywhere in Western Europe, and he blossoms.
I listened to my son chat. He recounted the story of his first day of work, as my stalwart teen traveler made his appearance suited up professionally. With some amusement (from his new boss), he was instructed to change clothes. He was hitting the production line.
My son, the factory worker.
I can picture him rolling with it, donning a jumpsuit, and following along as he was shown how to sandblast something, and assemble something else I can’t recall. Suffice it to say, he is taking things apart or putting them together. Right up his alley.
More importantly, he’s learning about the real world, in very real ways. Total self-sufficiency. What it’s like to get up early, fix breakfast, pack a lunch, commute, then spend a long day at physical labor, only to commute home, cook, and drop into bed. Of course, he’s 18, so I imagine he isn’t dropping into bed at an early hour, tired or not.
“I’m making my own lunches and bringing them,” he said (sounding rather pleased with himself).
“I haven’t been able to do laundry yet,” he continued. (I refrained from comment; it’s been 10 days.)
He went on: “By the time I get home from work it’s late, there’s no washer or dryer in the apartment, and nowhere around to take my clothes. But a woman at the plant has offered to do my laundry. I just need to coordinate with her. I’m walking to the store now, to buy bread.”
I looked at my watch. 10 pm, his time.
Yes indeed. Adolescent energy, not to mention the capacity to charm women, in several languages.
“It’s a taste of the real world, isn’t it,” I said, thinking that he doesn’t even have a bicycle to get around, as he did when he lived in France two years ago.
He chuckled, and went on to tell me how he hopes to coordinate activities for the weekend, despite the fact that his cousins are all in summer school. He’d like to manage a few days in Amsterdam, a city he’s never seen, where he’ll no doubt stroll the infamous Red Light District. Otherwise, there’s Paris, and a Belgian music festival at the end of the summer that’s very Woodstock, and he’s attended before. And if I know my kid – those plans are solidified.
Even as I note a hint of loneliness in his voice, I know how good this experience is for him. The hard work of daily adult life. The discoveries of many firsts. The use of several languages.
And I tell myself how fortunate I am, that he’s doing so well. And that he calls me like this, just to talk.
Oh I love this. His experience. Your confidence in him. The phone call. It feels like a mama bird who’s been teaching her little ones to fly and to finally see them soar… what a feeling! While I’m in no hurry to get there, I hope that I am able to talk about this in the same way you did here. With just a touch of melancholy (understandably so) but with distinct, unequivocal pride.
I am proud of him. And of his brother. And I miss them both.
Probably my biggest regret in life is that I never took time in my college days to live abroad. I know it’s not too late, but there’s something powerful and poetic about learning about yourself in another culture and another idiom – and doing it before other responsibilities come along. I applaud you for raising your kids to have such an international perspective and to have the confidence in themselves to try new things. And I applaud them for getting up and getting out the door.
May both of your sons – and their mom – enjoy a safe and happy summer!
My elder had the good fortune to spend 2 months in a small town in France, attending French high school. He loved it. Now that he’s completed his first year of college, he’s again fortunate in being able to work an unpaid internship in Europe. With family nearby (relatively), it’s particularly good for him. Being half European, both my kids traveled with me when I would go abroad on business. So from the time they were babies, they’ve made that trek.
And it’s not too late to get a dose of a different culture! Though I admit, with two little ones, it’s a wee bit trickier. Still, if you read Launa and their 9-month adventure in France – the whole family – you’ll see it’s never too late.
It’s so lovely watching them thrive through your eyes. Someone to do his laundry! Impressive and somehow entirely fitting with the sense of him you’ve provided to us here in recent posts. He’s resourceful and hard-working. No surprise that someone else is willing to help him too.
It’s wonderful seeing them thrive. Not easy, not without bumps, but wonderful to know they’re doing well. What parent doesn’t want to know their kids are taking wing with strength and confidence, even though it’s a little scary?
what a great story!
Amsterdam is such a beautiful city to wander around in!
I highly recommend it
Amsterdam IS a fabulous city! I haven’t been there in 20 years, but I remember how beautiful it is. (Did you wander Europe much, Jason?)
So you have no kids at home this summer? Is this a first time experience? How does that feel? You do sound like you are able to separate your own feelings from his, which is so important. Kudos to you.
No, I don’t have a kidless summer, but I do have one (unexpectedly) away, coming back in a few days, and the other, away for the bulk of the summer working. My younger will be attending an academic program later in the summer, and he’ll be away for that, and his brother returning shortly thereafter.
I actually haven’t had real kidless (down) time in 2 years. So this small bit of it has been both strange, and much needed.
I worked in London & Amsterdam (and a bit in Porto, Portugal) for a long winter in across 2000-2001, i did not wander too much around europe, but i made it to a few places. I have spent a few other trips around France, Paris, around Strausbourg, and a long trip in the south of france! I really want to go to spain and Italy, but i feel like my next trips will probably be to Mexico.
Jason – you’re making me want to pack a bag, grab my passport, my voltage converter, my laptop, and hop a flight!
That he calls you just to talk while he’s off on amazing adventures warms my heart. I want to raise my boy so he has a sense of adventure and at the same time, an attachment to me that he’ll want to call from thousands of miles away.
I chuckled at the part about him assembling and disassembling parts. The desire to do that must come from a universal boy gene. And how sweet that he found some lady willing to do his laundry for him.
You gave me a good giggle, Belinda. Yes, that disassembling/assembling thing. “Universal boy gene.” I think so! (And I couldn’t help but shake my head that he found an adult woman willing to do his laundry. Why do I think that only a boy teen could manage that one??) 😉
I do hope you are enjoying your small unexpected window of alone time. Your son’s adventure sounds heavenly.
And I’m impressed again, through your descriptions, of his independence and thoughtfulness. This summer of work and life abroad sounds like a great experience, regardless of who does the laundry!
I’m traveling with all of my juniors today and tomorrow to visit several college campuses, and they’ve impressed me, too. It leaves me grateful and excited.
My son, just two and back at home, will not talk to me (or anyone) on the phone, but I overheard him telling his dad that I am “at work on the bus.”
First of all, BLW, I like the new shoe picture! I should be ashamed of myself. I’ve never even changed my template on blogger! I figure if I stick with it long enough, soon I’ll be the last one left using it!
And what fun for your son to be in Europe and young. It’s not much but once I spent 5 weeks in Israel and I remember calling my mom at odd times and how thrilled she was to hear from me. That trip taught me that I could really handle anything, anywhere.
OMG, this is incredible! What an experience to live and work and care for himself in another country, and at this age. Sounds like you’ve raised a self sufficient amazing boy, ready for any and all adventures. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far…
Sweet. Too sweet. So sweet I can taste it. And feel it welling up in my eyes. I know my children will be there, too, someday. Off, living their lives, calling to report in. And I can barely bear it. You are amazing, Wolfie. And your son? Amazing, too. Of course.
Leslie, Linda, Maureen, Jen… I did, indeed, luck out in the kid department. He’s pretty cool. And nothing like a multilingual phone call to boot!
You must be so very proud of him. And I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before he’s not so lonely anymore! Perhaps it will be a French woman that sets her sights on him! Ooo la la! 😉
That got a BIG grin out of me, Lisa!
Thank you so much for updating us, because I’m living vicariously through these posts. I feel so motivated to consider a time abroad for my own family, but I’m really quite unsure where to start. I suppose just saying I will do it, and being on the look-out for a good opportunity is a good beginning.
And I love how enterprising young men can be! He found someone to do his laundry. Now that is something I need to be motivated to do!
Someday, I want to have a long sleepover weekend with you to learn just how you got here, to today. That’s how long I think it will take to learn all you’re willing to tell.
Loved this. What’s good for our kids. Hearing that loneliness and knowing still, it’s good. Writing from Germany right now (Oct 15th) and heading to Italy tomorrow for 2 more weeks. Europe – such a fantastic place. Sounds like you’ve rubbed off on your son – living a large life.