It’s Monday. It’s really Monday. So the Complaint Department is open for business again. Here. Now. And then I have to get on with sorting out the umpteen messes of the past few hours and the weekend. How about you?
Kids, by any other name, would smell as sweet
Okay. Maybe it’s roses. Maybe it’s all water under the bridge. Maybe it’s worn roses and dirty water under the bridge and nothing smells sweet. Certainly not at the moment, and not with my teenager, and not with anything else in my life. And yes – I’m in a cranky mood. So there. Aren’t plenty of us who are juggling everything cranky? Don’t we have a right be? Do we really need a reason?
Screw that. I say let’s hear it for the cantankerous mother who pours her vitriol onto the virtual page rather than her kids, whatever the reason (and guaranteed, there are plenty).
So yesterday, my kid had to go out to get roses. For an elaborate “something” he was concocting for the girl he already asked to prom, who wanted him to re-ask in a more creative way. (Huh?? I think if a teen boy asks politely and she says yes, give the guy a break!)
Spray roses. Three types. Least expensive roses to work with. Now in my kitchen, on the crowded counter, removed from the fridge. Will they still be good tomorrow? Who knows, but I’m pissed. At my kid. And at this damn girl – whoever she is, and her friends (who said “he should’ve asked better”). Then there’s the foam core and special pens needed from another store, and some sort of ongoing project in process that may or may not come to fruition. Using all of this. And who picks up the tab? You guessed it.
Last evening he was working on the “something” which he never finished, along with homework due today. (I was informed in the car this morning.) Shall we say it’s time for another discussion on Time Management?
Automated phone systems
Yes! Ding ding ding! We have a recurring theme! The ever popular phone drama!
Hello, Customer Service? You are slowly driving the American population insane with your convoluted automated systems. You’re killing off brain cells faster than a fifth of Jack Daniels. Dare I mention this morning’s adventure in customer care?
- 20 minutes to get nowhere (again) with my cable company (a live person)
- the local number furnished last week – doesn’t work
- we still have the wrong cable boxes (and no TV reception)
- the vodka IV delivery service number is busy
- Bank’s automated system – an infinite loop then lost on hold (bye-bye, Monday morning)
- DROVE to the bank for the information I need for taxes
- Census Bureau automated service – 20 minute loop (eventual human being, who informed me I was one of the “lucky randomly chosen” who gets to do two types of questionnaires – the long one I already did the end of last year, and another – to be remailed)
Bills, teens, and toilet paper
I got to enjoy the pleasures of bill paying this morning. The minimum payments are rising like my blood pressure. And speaking of a rising tide, there is my teen – a great kid whom I love, but he’s driving me crazy. There, I said it. And I know that’s his job. And it’s more than spray roses and prom planning. It’s insufficient communication, procrastination, and the hand always out for a few more dollars. Respectfully and with regret, but no less palm up, and waiting. And the printing press for my twenties is running out of ink.
Then there was the house full of teens Saturday. With no warning. A chemistry-biology project. And of course, dirty socks and papers strewn about, and no toilet paper in the gross “boy bathroom” (there were girls here). 
Are mothers the only ones who realize that the toilet paper rolls can be transported from where they are dropped after shopping to their place of final destination?
As for everything else – I can’t possibly enumerate. Let’s just say – priorities need to be reassessed. It’s going to get very unpleasant around here, very fast.
Job leads, follow up, professionalism
In the past 4 weeks, I’ve had 4 job leads. Astonishing. One or two were possibly projects leading to “regular employment.” Two were projects. Of the four, one was a scam (best I can tell), the second involved a position which was then put on hold (relative to filling it). The third – a project I worked hard to research, attended a meeting, followed up with phone calls and short proposal – nada. No response. Dead end. I plan one more phone call because I’m pissed. I put eight hours and a lot of physical energy into dealing with that prospect in a professional manner.
I deserve to be dealt with – yes or no – in an equally professional manner. We all do.
As for the fourth? Just last week, the end of the week. Again, I did my due diligence by checking out the company and the individual. Legitimate. We emailed. Then I researched, emailed, we set a phone meeting, for which I prepped and then called. No answer. Several hours later (early evening), a phone message with an apology and a “let’s try again.”
Are there valid reasons the gentleman was not available? I’m sure. But it doesn’t change the fact that this seems to have become the norm in all manner of professional interactions. Blowing people off. Time is money. And you know what? I know what I’m worth. And I’m damn valuable in the workplace. I have skills and experience to contribute, and I want the respect of the paycheck, as well as the professionalism of simple follow-up, and keeping one’s word. 
I am angry.
I am very angry. At hundreds of wasted hours over the past year – dealing on good faith, and not receiving the same in kind.
Sure, there’s more. But that’s enough.
All I know is this
There are good days and bad days for all of us. We have worries. Big ones and little ones. We have complaints. We need to vent, somewhere. I’m doing so here.
As for happiness? Of course I want to be happy. I want my children happy. But I’m weary of reading about the next quick fix or the latest route to being present. So I guess that’s another complaint, that will possibly piss a few of you off. For that I am sorry, but I am not sorry for saying what I think. HERE, I wish to speak my mind. HERE, I wish to be honest. I worry for my kids, for their health, for my own. I worry for their future. I struggle with a financial snowball that worsens due to a support situation I cannot fathom, and none of us chose. I recognize the good moments, and I savor them. But there are few.
Someone asked me recently about my dreams, about what I had planned for the future. I was dumbstruck, and have not responded. Not because I don’t have dreams – I have plenty – but I don’t dare to think about them. Nor the future. Not right now. Every day is a Monday. A hard Monday. And I have more phone calls to make, because I have to keep going. I have to keep trying. That’s as much as I know, today.
Let’s see. 25 year old was laid off a week ago this past Friday. Not totally unexpected as the firm lost a huge client. He did not tell me, though. I had to pry it out of him like a hubcap stuck on a tire needing to be changed. As I said before, did he not think I would notice him laying on the sofa all day, invading my workspace and watching violent war shows on television?
The baby has a much better social life than mama. He has three girls’ birthday parties on the calendar. One is an 18th birthday, the other two 16th birthday parties. One says dress is semi-formal. Do we need a gift for each of these? Of course. Would you like to also eat this week? Definitely.
Then, there is work. I know I shouldn’t complain. I have work. At the moment, I am ready to jump ship! I have one client who keeps delegating and then, once the wheels are in motion for me to take over a task, in she jumps changing the ground rules. Just let me do it!
Ooops! Didn’t realize the violent TV shows were wearing me so much. And, for your son, my son asked his former, and then current again, g/f to prom via a scavenger hunt. He had friends who had clues and she had to figure out where the next one was each time until the final clue was pinned to his tux shirt in his closet. No roses involved.
I hear ya.
As for prom – the “re-ask” was an elaborate scavenger hunt with roses attached to parts of the clues, but… the practical logistics made it unworkable – after my bucks and most of his weekend spent trying to put it together.
What’s up with these spoiled girls?? I’m sorry – but if a great kid asks you, why isn’t that enough?
SEMI-FORMAL? Oh shit. I haven’t even thought about the cost of clothes for prom. (I’ve already cut the grocery list to the bone. There’s little more to cut. Ideas?)
What’s with these teenage chicks that think teenage boys are supposed to spend all this moolah on them like they’re grown ups with jobs?! Mine dated girls like that…and yeah, you know exactly who footed the bill! I just don’t get how think that demanding these things makes them look mature. I’m going to stop right here before I get started, but put it this way…she will not stop at that! I hope your son wisens up quickly. It took mine six months, and my other son a year!
My sentiments exactly. The good news in this – only 2 more months until the end of the school year. And his credit line (Bank of BLW) just hit the wall. 🙂
BLW – have your son approach a formal shop about recruiting business for them. Many here locally will give the person who is drumming up business for them a free tux rental if they get “X” number of people to go through that business.
Oh, the other option is to just wear a good suit. My one daughter’s date went to a neighboring school district. He did not have the money to rent a tux – cheap end is around $100 here – so borrowed a neighbor’s good suit.
The suit. Ugh. He’s outgrown everything. I don’t know what we’re going to do. (At least half the kids here don’t wear tuxes, so I think we’re okay on that. Crossing my fingers and toes.)
Seriously? How stupid is this girl? (No offense…sort of…) It’s just, I’m with you – – if a guy asks politely, why should he have to RE-ask you? That’s just lame.
I’m with you. It’s so high school. But then, it IS high school. Still. Ridiculous.
A scavenger hunt and roses for a prom ask???? I would tell my daughters WTF??? My son had a HS girlfriend who only wanted gifts from Tiffany’s. And he, of course, obliged. I’ve never had a gift from Tiffany’s in my life, but this 17 year old girl did. And her Louis Vuitton Bag. Thank God that one didn’t last.
Sorry about every day being Monday. I’ll think positive Tuesday thoughts and send them your way.
“Positive Tuesday thoughts” – I love it! (Tiffany and Louis Vuitton? Are you KIDDING??)
I almost guffawed at the roses. How much that young woman has to learn. The naivete of youth…
At any rate, I can relate to your Monday rant. I’ve had a difficult one myself. I’ve hardly had time to catch my breath for the insanity in my life. I feel like I just woke up, blinked and it was 5:00. Really, at this rate I’ll have missed my whole life.
We’re busily trying to hire at work, and we’d give anything ANYTHING to find someone who cared half as much as you do about putting a little effort and professionalism into their application. It’s virtually an entry level position, but it’s a good catch for any communications person with a little ambition to learn and grow. We’ve had not luck. Offered it twice and been turned down. Ah youth, I can’t remember at time when I ever had that luxury. It’s irritating, frustrating and overwhelming.
I hope some special nugget happened today, perhaps even a small moment to help you feel better. You deserve it.
Thank you. 🙂 And I hope you find someone appreciative of that entry level position. Those are opportunities that should be jumped on in this economy.
Désolée et déconcertée, ici! “‘He should’ve asked better'”??? C’est une soirée, pas une demande en mariage!
Ridicule, n’est-ce pas? And the kid is now going to have a very long night ahead of him. (Schoolwork – and plenty of it. And there will be no time for an involved project for a prom “re-ask.”)
After the first few paragraphs, I just wanted to say “women!”
Here’s my rant: my daughter and I, diligently cooking and cleaning for about three days for Passover. My son, laying around like a great big bum, his mind only on Xbox Live – which he doesn’t have – but which we’ve ordered for his 8th grade graduation.
Every second he’s rollerblading to the mailboxes, and – you gotta love him – even on Sunday! It shows up but he can’t make it work. He schleps it around the house, destroying every computer in his wake. Finally, I take the adapter, turn into the possessed mom, and tell him that’s it.
He retreats to his room, muttering about menopausal mothers.
Wolf-as you’ve said before, parenting doesn’t get easier. Yes, the diapers, the waking up, etc disappear, but the emotional aspect? No way.
And, this prom business? I think girls are trained to expect high things from their dates. Too high. It is absolutely ridiculous. “Spend money on me!” they say. How about “let’s foot the bill together??” Good grief. I didn’t attend any of my high school dances. Thank goodness.
Don’t even get me started – after my son’s all-nighter, and today – one major project, a chem lab, and two important exams. If he’s screwed them up because he spent the weekend on the “unfinished prom project?” It’s going to get very very very unpleasant around here.
Well the good news is, if this girl’s already thinking like this, she’s going to be miserable for most of her life!
I already vented on my blog, but I love that you’re keeping this a regular thing.
Oh, and the job news SUCKS.
April – your new job sucks??? Seriously? (Will go read… )