Some particularly playful writers in the neighborhood have been exposing themselves of late. Now, now. Keep your pants on. Exposing themselves by taking us on a tour of their respective billfolds, wallets and purses.
First there was the slow and meticulous reveal at The Critical Path, followed by Nicki’s look at Nicki’s Nook.
This glimpse into what we carry around – in billfolds, wallets, purses, bags, and pockets – is illuminating. So I’m joining the fray, but skimming over what is in my wallet, while lingering a bit on what isn’t.
After all, aren’t we a composite of presence and absence? What better in our ever-changing lives, than a glance at both?
Contents of my wallet:
Here goes. Drum roll please… 
- One weary credit card, behind which are three bright red reminder cards to take care of the… um… less than always dark brown hair. Yep, I paint the occasional strand of gray.
- Assorted scraps of paper and receipts, covered in scribbles with (no doubt) brilliant notes for future essays. Or my grocery list.
- One soon-to-expire museum membership card, and one laminated holiday Starbucks card.
- One business card from my favorite Parisian hotel on the Right Bank.
- Two cards from oo-la-la art galleries (Left Bank), one from a fine lingerie boutique (Right Bank). One appointment card, dentist (no Bank).
- One small stub from the Picasso Museum in Paris, several years old.
- The usual: driver’s license, insurance card, two crisp fives and eight wrinkled ones (it’s a flush week).
- $10 in an “emergency” pocket, 20 euros (in case of a South of France sort of emergency), and two unused tickets for the Paris metro.
- One slightly crumpled but much loved photo of my sons (in 2008), tucked behind the emergency cash.
It’s somehow reassuring (to moi) to know that there are not only metro tickets in my pocket, but two as yet unused in my wallet! As for the roomy shoulder bag in which I carry it, highlights are as follows: paper, maps, pens, makeup (thank you, Christian Dior), purple gloves, Tums, Excedrin, thumb drive, and a pocket French dictionary.
Might one say I was a card carrying Francophile, quite literally?
What isn’t in my wallet (or bag):
What isn’t in my wallet or shoulder bag (Remembrance of Things Past?):
- $50 in emergency money and 50 euros in escapist emergency dreaming. (Bonjour, Recessionary Economy.)
- Four credit cards I used to have, long since put away or canceled. (Hello Recessionary Economy.)
- Two additional museum admission cards in other major cities, allowed to expire. (Hello Recessionary Economy. Is there an echo??)
- Smashbox lip gloss (more easily kept in my cleavage rather than a purse).
- Cutlery, but no steak knives (formerly carried in my brassiere, on a dare).
- Mini salt and pepper shakers. Filled. (Yes, you got it, also once in the cleavage; you never know when you might need a little seasoning.)
- Condoms (the lost dream?) – all twisted pleasure aside, if I still have some in the house, they’re no longer in the wallet. (Nope, not a recessionary issue at all.)
- My favorite feather boa (not in the cleavage, but formerly in the general vicinity).
- A pair of heels – hot ones (frequently carried in the shoulder bag, just in case, red of course).
- An atomizer of my favorite perfume, along with sexy lingerie, preferably a corset or little slip. (La Perla, if Christian Louboutin won’t adopt me, will you?)
- Multivitamins (a woman needs her red meat, and a little boost after all); these now reside on the bathroom sink.
I dare say, my life has gotten dull of late. This inventory not only of what’s “in” but what’s “out” is leaving me bereft.
Perhaps I ought to slip the red feather boa back into my bag, along with the perfume and stilettos. And while I might want to avoid Boomer Boys of the Breastfeeding sort, maybe I should consider the credit card and metro tickets, and head for a locale where I might have occasion to spill – the contents of my carrying on.
Just think – you have emergency cash in your wallet. I do not. I have tried this but always know where the little stash is and spend it. Usually it is on a child’s needs – underwear, medication, college books.
I am so happy you joined in.
I’m really good about not touching emergency cash. It’s been there for years. I’ve taught my kids to do this, too. Even if it’s a $5 bill tucked in their wallets that is never touched except for emergency. Not that $5 goes very far anymore… (One way or another, kids get every dime, don’t they… )
Ahh the gap between where we are and where we want to be (or was once before,) I know it too well. The same gap between fantasy and reality that we experience in our waking moment. Time to go back to sleep and enjoy your bag of ‘goodies.’
p.s. – you must have quite a brassiere!
It all goes back to college competitions in all manner of things… relative to the “how much can you fit in your brassiere” activity. However, “lingerie engineering” advances make some things more possible, and others, less so. There are practical aspects (the more you can carry there, the tinier a purse you can get away with). Bet you never thought of any of this!
I wish I could go back 20 years and see what was in my bag then vs. what is in my bag now…..
Seems like I should carry condoms even if its just to make me feel hopeful. I think I might try that!
I adore this post. I have said more than once that the contents of one’s bag say everything about that person’s life. My bags? Disasters stuffed with pull-up diapers, crumbs, pen caps, coins, takeout menus, business cards, parched highlighters, petrified English muffins (I kid not.)
My two favorite parts of this post though:
1) That you carried salt & pepper shakers with you. I am a salt fiend. So is everyone in my fam. (Oddly, we all have low blood pressure.)
2) The line about how we are mixtures of absence and presence. Profoundly true. Might have to post on this one and link back to my wise buddy (a.k.a. you).
I’m with Aidan; I love this: “After all, aren’t we a composite of presence and absence? What better in our ever-changing lives, than a glance at both?”
Between the births of Big Boy and Tiny Baby, I went with the combination giant purse/diaper bag. I now have two separate bags – an attempted acknowledgment of the two parts of my identity. Sometimes I stick my purse into the diaper bag – a metaphor that is easier, at times, than the practice of inserting the Woman into the Mother.
Believe it or not, I have whittled everything down to a camera case for a small camera the size of a pack of cards, in a pouch in which I can also fit my drivers license, credit cards, biz cards and money. There is also room for lipgloss, extra batteries and an extra memory card. You know, “take only photographs, leave only footprints….”
LOL- what isn’t in my wallet? Enough money! But I’m sure that’s just temporary 🙂 love looking into other people’s purses (virtually of course) xo
What’s greater than a peak into other people’s wallets? And you have such sophisticated contents, BLW! I’d write my own but I’m embarassed of my idiotic grocery store “membership” cards. Ugh.
You make me laugh! Sophisticated contents, and very unsophisticated lifestyle! (And I didn’t mention the crumbs in the bottom of the big bag… not quite sure from what. Guess I needed those utensils that were no longer in my cleavage.)
If I had a cleavage I would definitely use it to carry stuff…
Then: lipstick, extra panties, condoms, matches, club cards, pens and scraps of numbers. Maps to places I never went. Empty.
Now: library cards, kids emergency id pics, planner, reference material, pens, paper, permission slips, extra diapers, wipes, and butt cream, lunch husband shoved in my bag, books, transit card, train schedules, camera, Cheerios. Full.
Well, Natalie – I think you should stick-figure-illustrate this particular Before (empty) and After (full).