I’m going to bust a gut, or the laces on my corset. All women are NOT the same! (Look at Lunch Lady – is she your girl next door? Your neighbor’s wife? Yo mama??) If I hear one more time – “all women try to change a man” – I’m rounding up my friendly action […]
Archives for 2009
Kim did it…
“I can’t help it,” he said. “Kim did it.” You’ve got to be kidding, I thought to myself. Why did I have THAT Reality TV show on in the background last night, and why did I let him near my computer? I was looking at the screen in front of me. I couldn’t believe it. […]
Kismet and the post-millennial princess
Who says there’s only one right person out there for any other? I just don’t buy it. But go to the movies, and you’re still likely to find the romantic tale of “the One” – the notion of a single true love – preordained by fate, destiny, or “Kismet.” Rescue me Just after my divorce, […]
Teens are tots with facial hair!
Teens are tots, with facial hair. We all know it. We just don’t say it aloud. Teens are tots, with facial hair. The proof? Erratic behavior, surly silences, and the ability to outsmart, outreason, outbefuddle and outlast even the most attentive and stoic of single parents. Why do I specify single parents? It’s not only […]
OMG – Call 911! Hot blonde with my baby!
OMG OMG OMG. Can I say that again?? Someone pass the oxygen. Now. Please. It’s bad enough that Big Brother’s been a lady’s man since he was 13, but now my little one? My baby? OMG.… 16 year old son: Mom, can I have a friend over this afternoon? Graying mother: Sure, but your brother’s […]
Fly, fly, fly on the Wall… Teeny Tiny, It’s a Ball…
Invisibility. It’s magical! No potions required. No electromagnetics. No green screen, no gizmos. I’ve mastered the art of invisibility! And it’s verrrrrry useful in life, as you become a fly on the wall, a speck of dust, or a passing whisper. When you need to be. Little people Technically, I don’t think I qualify as […]
What’s in a Word?
What’s in a word? Everything.
Action Babe and the Elusive Villain
There was a babe, a push-up corset, a little bit of rock hard belly peeking through. One chic cuff on the left wrist. Hourglass figure, strong thighs, black boots, and big, batting, heavy eyelashes, the false kind, though her eyes were sharp and aware as she readied for attack. She was more than an action […]
Outnumbered! (Teenage parties)
Twenty rambunctious teens. One of you. Now what? Did you promise your teenager a party? Did you get through in one piece? Last year I promised my son he could have a major bash. He’d been doing great in school, had just returned from an overseas academic program, and he wanted to party. All night, […]
White Palace. Twisted Pleasure. Empties.
“Shall I get condoms?” Silence. “It’s like having band-aids in the house,” I say. “Good to have around. Just in case.” I turn to my son, see the grin, and make one of those critical parental decisions. The kind you feel in your gut. I’m long past embarrassment when I purchase anything. Well, almost. It […]