When a birthday rolls around, I want a candle and a wish. My kids shake their heads, but I don’t care if it’s a candle in play-doh, a bran muffin, a cupcake, or a piece of fruit.
I want to make a wish. Why? Because since my sons were born, my birthday wishes have always been about them – specifically or generally. About their well-being. And so far, so good!
My kids don’t know I do this of course, but why mess with a good thing?
Are you superstitious?
Some days I laugh off events that genuinely concern others, yet I may provide safe harbor to very private superstitions that I’ve held since childhood, or since becoming a parent. In fact, I didn’t consider myself superstitious at all before having children, but I suspect that now, I am. Just a little bit. And I wonder why that is.
I actually went into labor with my elder son on a Friday the 13th (13 days late) – and tried to will the contractions to stop so he would be born on the 14th. In fact, the contractions ceased for a number of hours, then started up again at a very regular rate. It isn’t that I was worried about giving birth on Friday the 13th, but I didn’t want my son to spend his life dealing with Friday the 13th birthdays.
Given that the little provocateur was clearly in no hurry to leave the cozy space he’d long outgrown, he took some 17 hours before the doctors finally took matters into their own hands (literally), sliced me a big smile, rummaged around inside as though I were a drawer full of socks, and handed me my first-born. On the 14th.
My private just-in-case rituals
Now back to those little rituals – most of which are things like a candle on my birthday (to make wishes for my children). Are those superstitions? Or are they something else?
Are they habits that fly in the face of reason (like tossing salt over your shoulder or knocking wood?) – but we continue to do them anyway?
Then there’s worry, which is like a third cousin to superstition and quite a stout and stubborn relation at that. When my children were younger, worry jumped out from behind every rock where my little ones played, and every unlit stretch of fence on an empty street they had to walk. As they’ve grown older, I worry when they get behind the wheel of a car or when they board a plane. For those occasions (especially transatlantic flights), I certainly have my little “rituals” which I needn’t describe here, but they are accompanied by what one could also call pleading with all gods and spirits of the universe to keep my children safe.
Any Superstitions or Rituals That Sound Familiar?
Am I alone in these routines – which are more steadfastly clung to since motherhood?
- Are you “superstitious?” More so, if you are a parent?
- Do you walk around a ladder rather than under it?
- Do you worry when you break a mirror?
- Are you horrified about the black cat scurrying across your path?
- As for Friday the 13th – any worry?
- Any “rituals” just in case?
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I would definitely NOT walk under a ladder, because I don’t like to be on them or under them. I’m not sure it’s superstition.
As for worry, as my daughter says, “You’d be worried if you didn’t have anything to worry about.” Unfortunately she might be right. Terrible.
As for the rest, no not superstitious. Although when I spill salt I always throw some over my shoulder. I can never remember which one so I do both, that way I’m covered. . .
Bisou,
Tish
Too funny! (But tell me, if you throw salt over one shoulder, aren’t you tempted toss a little poivre over the other?)
OK. Drinking now. This was my “normal” post. I am now bravely imbibing alcohol so I am provide an appropriate entry for the Half-Drunk Challenge. And since I’m half height (and a half size shoe), I’m thinking I should only get one quarter drunk which is half of half (a calculation I can happily still manage as I’ve only had a few sips).
I haven’t forgotten that you still need to tell us what makes you hot-hottie-hot – ou devrais-je dire irrésistible ?
I am surprisingly not superstitious (surprising given my generally high level of anxiety about most things), but I share your commitment to the birthday candle wish. I am not usually a wisher, but I place quite a bit of importance on that annual ritual. One year I wished to be able to get pregnant; a few days later, I conceived my first child. Coincidence? Okay, yes. But some pretty persuasive timing.
I’m right there with you. Everyone of those! I have shared these with my kids as they have grown up. However, now they think that my superstitious ways are silly. This year I even counted how many friday the 13th’s there are and would you be surprised to know that there are 3 this year and in the last 5 years there has only been 1 a year.
Not superstitious in the least. Yet, if told by someone, this is how I always do it and it works, I am willing to follow those instructions or support those actions.
Ladders I can take or leave. If they look safely propped up, I will walk under one or around one. Makes no difference to me.
I also don’t worry about breaking a mirror, unless, of course, I then step in a piece of the broken mirror. That may cause me to rethink my point of view.
Just last Thursday evening, I saw a black cat cross in front of me and my photo-taking companion. He was a much older gentleman but we both laughed it off.
Friday the 13th…just a day for bad US made movies as far as I can tell.
Oh SoccerMom – you make me feel better! Thank you! (Just wait til your kids have kids – then they’ll get it.)
I am very superstitious. No walking under ladders (or scaffolding), no broken mirrors, no opening umbrellas inside, no saying your wishes out loud, no greedy wishes, no speaking things aloud before they happen, etc.
You would think the superstitions would be limiting, but I feel strangely protected at all times.
Oh, you’ve got some great ones I totally forgot about! Cool!
I never thought I was superstitious, but I think superstition is a bit contagious. Growing up, my girlfriends wouldn’t step on cracks, would step on the plane with their right foot first, and I just followed suit. I think there is a certain magic in superstition, but like most things, it behooves us not to let it get out of hand.
Great post.
My twist is what I call “magical dates.” Friday the 13th is big, and I was divorced on a June 13, 2003. My mother died in the last hour of Thursday, January 12, 1984 and I wished she had hung on until the 13th. I have published essays and done other things on January 12 because of the significance of the date. Sept. 16, my wedding anniversary, has a bittersweet overtone. Other days in September (not September 11) have meaning for reasons I won’t go into here. March has meaning because March 11 is my mother’s birthday and I note other birthdays in the same month. I note whatever happens on those days and note any alignment of date with action.
I always note the Ides of March, more for literary reasons than anything else.
July is a deadly month because I was laid off three times in that month, in 1995, 2001 and 2006.
But ladders, black cats and cracks in the sidewalk don’t have any particular meaning or fright for me.
I am probably the most superstitious person around. All the normal superstitions are true with me but I have a trunk load of others as well. It actually becomes a bit stressful… the one thing I DON’T do however is forward those silly emails that state if you don’t forward them within a certain amount of time, to a certain amount of people, you’ll have bad luck. I’d be forwarding emails all day and losing friends along the way (look I’m a poet too!).
Most of my superstitions are actually rituals. Things i MUST do or bad things will happen, especially on airplanes. I also have to throw my keys up and over my head and catch them. If I don’t = bad luck. I get three tries of course.
I always wonder what makes a person superstitious. I don’t feel like a generally “lucky” person so maybe these little superstitions make me feel like there’s a reason? Also pertaining to rituals… I find it interesting that some people say if they DON’T perform their ritual, bad things will happen. Others say, if they DO perform their ritual, GOOD things will happen. Glass half full/half empty analogy perhaps?
OK – just sneezed 5 times in a row! Gonna be a good day!
I’m probably superstitious, but I really like 13. Hermes is the thirteenth greek god, a demi-god who tricks his way to Mt. Olympus by stealing Apollo’s cow when little Hermes is one day old, inventing the lyre, and trading the gift of music to Apollo in return for becoming the god of commerce, communication, art and… luck. One way to think about luck is that the “god” of luck rules both good and bad; much as Hermes is the only god who can visit the underworld and return again—a boundary crosser and archetypal personification of the force one tries to avoid or curry favor with through superstition. A West African god of luck, Eshu, expects appreciation for bad luck, and in turn bestows good luck, eventually evening things out.
There’s a really interesting book on these themes by Lewis Hyde, “Trickster Makes This World.”
Namaste