What if we let our kids hand us a list of their parenting wishes? A sort of top ten tips for parenting, from their perspective?
If only there were guides for the tween and teen years that were as straightforward as getting through those first sleepless six months, or the terrible twos.
(Though personally, I think teens and two-year olds share plenty of common ground!)
I try to take my cues from my kids. And with so many of their friends around our home for years, I keep my eyes and ears open for them as well, hoping to watch out for their best interests even though I’m not the parent.
And that’s meant
- Answering tough questions, way sooner than expected
- My lost summer, but real relaxation time for my kids
- Watching one son hand off the torch to the other
- That tricky condom issue – up front and personal
- Learning to shut up in the morning!
As for the idea of a guidebook by teens for parents? Wouldn’t that be helpful? And along those lines –
The following article is by Vanessa Van Petten who runs RadicalParenting.com, a parenting blog written from the kid’s perspective with 20 teen writers. Their goal is to give parents a secret view into the world of kids and youth.
10 Rules Kids Wished Their Parents Lived By: Here are radical parenting principles put together by Vanessa and the Teen Team – how they wish parenting would be.
Also included here:
50 Best Mom Blogs: Parents always ask “which websites should I read?” Here is a complete overview of favorite mommy bloggers across the net with reviews, favorite articles and descriptions. There’s a Part II as well, and hopefully a Part III for new blogs with things to say.
Great stuff. I think the key is communication. Talk to your teens, and take genuine interest in what they are saying. A book on this subject that I liked is “Parenting is a Contact Sport,” by Joanne Stern. I reviewed it here: http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/06/03/parenting-is-a-contact-sport/
I like the idea of a monthly “family check-in.” It seems like such a simple idea, and yet really, if you think about it, it’s genius!
One of the other things that is so simple (and we rarely think to do with teens – or kids of any age) is something suggested by Bruce at Privilege of Parenting. I tried it last year, and have used it since. That is to simply ask our kids very open ended questions about our parenting, about how we might parent them better, what they need from us. Something like “if I could do one or two things better or differently as your Mom, what would you suggest?”
The responses can be illuminating. And really helpful.
Thanks for commenting, TKW!