Libido Linked to Idealism. Federal Funding Sought for Additional Study.

Libido linked to idealism? Of course!

Prove the correlation? Why not!

Let’s float a federal grant to examine my theory, support my hypothesis, catapult my conviction that sex drive and idealism are dancing cheek to cheek. Might this data (and a subsequent best-selling how-to guide for both) add to the economic stimulus plan? After all – who could resist a dash of desire with a promising penchant for public service?

I propose revealing the secrets of the long known link between libido and idealism. For too many years now, this data has been hidden by the conservative right. Let’s open the X files – it’s good for the planet!

The hypothesis

If libido ebbs and flows (with hormones, fatigue, stress, partners, age), does idealism go along for the ride?

Raw oysters and raw data. Moon River and a martini. Let’s propitiously put participants in the mood. Then we’ll take our sample – packed, stacked, and shacked up, shaken and stirred, and get this country headed in the right direction again.

I know that when my desire dives, pessimism peaks. When libido lifts again, my idealism inspires me to reach for the moon!

There is a tie between wanting it, and believing it. After all – think about the nature of idealism. Aren’t convictions charismatic? When we’re feeling sexy and desirous, isn’t that about life, and life swelling in our veins and our organs, making us more hopeful, more invested in the present and the future?

Ready to revel in the results?

Before reviewing the study’s procedure, the impartial questionnaire, and the clear cut conclusions, here are some interesting facts on great lovers (and idealists) in history:

History’s great lovers and idealists

Warren Beatty – who can deny the liberal leanings? The fights for good causes? And unerring support of Democratic presidential candidates? That’s idealism in action!! And the luscious lists of ladies who succumbed to his charms before Annette Bening swept him off his feet? Too many to name; nonetheless, here are a few: Natalie Wood, Brigitte Bardot, and Jane Fonda.

Cyrano de Bergerac – known for prose and a nose that could melt the toes off a woman, in or out of bed. And what could be more idealistic than giving us love, love, love imagined for couples in couplets, without regard to physical attributes of the man declaring his passion?

Gérard Depardieu – not a handsome fellow by classical standards, he surely picked up a few tricks before and during his stint as Cyrano; he has gobs of talent and cart loads of legendary conquests. Clearly idealistic, recent tabloids show he believes in naturalism at the beach. And he’s a gourmand, a restaurateur, as well as a talented enologist. What’s better than giving the world grand performances, and the joys of great wine?

Catherine the Great, Empress of Russia (1729 -1796) was known for a string of lovers, until her death. Her healthy hunger for hunks included a lover she adored whom she ultimately gave up, so he could ascend the Polish throne. She was also known for an enlightened approach towards education (among the elite, as least). Lust and idealism? Of course!

Lucy Pinder – an English beauty, model, and known hottie on AskMen.com, is a sexy siren discovered on a British beach. She clearly enjoys watching over the environment, and surely believes in supporting all natural resources – including our oceans, rocks, and watery habitats.

The scientific procedure: Libido-Idealism Link

Here’s the process, and representative sample.

I emailed twelve friends. Sexual preference deemed irrelevant. Age range:

• twenties: one man, one woman
• forties: two men, two women
• fifties: two men, two women
• sixties: one man, one woman.

Why ignore the thirties? They’re so exhausted with kids and work they can’t even spell libido.

Why load up on forties and fifties? That’s when men and women both are presumed to grow cynical, and become less sexual.

Why not include more participants in their sixties, seventies and older?

This is poor data, but it’s all I have. What can I say?  (False facts abound on the Internet, and questionable interpretation of questionable data is potentially everywhere, intentionally or  unintentionally… Doubt me? Peek here.)

Besides, fine print: my morning musings are intended to entertain. And my federal funding hasn’t come in yet…

The Official (and unbiased) Questionnaire: Part One (Libido) and Part Deux (Idealism)

The superbly crafted and highly detailed questions that comprise the Official (and unbiased) Libido and Lifestyle Questionnaire should provide stimulating reading, but if you’re like most of us, the irrefutable conclusions that follow will be sufficient for your reading purposes.

Irrefutable Summary Based on Response Results:

Note: raw data is currently classified. Summary is, however, completely reliable. Trust me.

• Libido is a roller coaster. Sex appeal is mysterious. Libido and sex appeal are not necessarily linked. Roller coasters and sex appeal are not necessarily linked.
• Libido and living life fully show strong correlation.
• Living life fully and wanting to continue doing so tends towards acts of idealism.
• Despite age, occasional periods of being beaten down by worrisome or disabling experiences, returning libido is possible. Money helps.
• Despite age, occasional periods of being beaten down by worrisome or disabling experiences, returning optimism is possible, though less likely, without returning libido.
• There is no finite “beginning, middle or end” to libido or to idealism, though money helps.
• Deficiencies in exposure to certain social scenarios, specific vitamins, and low to negative net worth have been determined to cause LIDS (Libido Idealism Deficiency Syndrome).
• When libido is up, idealism is up.

Good news! AskMen has healthy sexy foods to assist!

Perhaps not with funding for my study, but they do have help with their suggested list of libido-boosting foodstuffs:

• Celery (The shape? No! Apparently it contains a hormone that drives women wild. MEN! Stock up!)
• Raw oysters (Zinc, zinc, zinc they think! Builds healthy sperm and beefs up testosterone.)
• Bananas (Recommendation: Ladies – peel slowly, eat more slowly. Maintain eye contact.)
• Avocados (B6 for male hormones, potassium for the women. And let’s face it; they’re smooth and creamy, and that’s just good for everyone.)
• Almonds (preferably raw), or nuts of any sort (Need we say more?)
• Mangoes, peaches, and berries, oh my! (Filled with erotic energy; they’re sticky, drippy, and sweet, recommended for indulging in or around the sensual surfaces of your choice.)

There’s more – but that will do, for now. And wouldn’t these delicious and healthy foods also make you feel better about life in general? More ready to race out and do something positive for your fellow man or woman?

Libido linked to idealism? An idea whose time has come. Funding sought for additional study… and of course, for the How-To Guide.