• Home
  • About
  • Around
  • Contributors
  • Applause

Daily Plate of Crazy

  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Love
    • Marriage
    • Divorce
    • Life After Divorce
  • Parenting
    • Advice
    • Babies and Kids
    • Tweens and Teens
    • College Kids
    • Single Moms
    • Older Moms
    • Dads
    • Family Dynamics
    • Money Matters
    • Work-Life
  • Health
  • Sex
  • Women’s Issues
  • Fashion & Style
    • Chaussures
    • Fashion
    • Style
    • Lingerie
    • Interiors
  • Culture
  • More
    • Art Art Art
    • Business
    • En Français
    • Entertainment
      • Mad Men
      • Mad Men Reviews
      • Real Housewives
      • Movies
      • Celebrities
      • Work of Art Reviews
    • Flash
    • Food & Recipes
    • Lifestyle
    • Morning Musing
    • Starting Over
    • Technology
    • Travel
    • Women and Money
You are here: Home / Parenting / Passing the Torch: Siblings Helping Each Other

Passing the Torch: Siblings Helping Each Other

July 17, 2009 by D. A. Wolf Leave a Comment

Siblings compete. They fight. At times, they resent each other. Whatever their relationship, wouldn’t we prefer if they helped each other out?

Siblings FightingBirth order and context come into play, as older children may feel they carry too much responsibility, middle children feel neglected, and the “baby” protests that he’s overprotected. If we’re lucky, our children set aside their differences as they mature.

Watching our kids grow – progressing from one level of maturity to another – brings moments of both worry and pride. Right now, I’m experiencing a little of each. My 17-year heads to college soon. I’m concerned, but confident that he’s ready to make his way. I’m also seeing him hand off the torch to his younger brother. He’s doing so in part at my request, and in part, naturally. Brothers – taking care of each other, and taking care of me.

More good news? My younger son seems prepared to grab that torch and run with it, accepting more responsibility.

Developmental changes

Getting through those “tween” years and into adolescence, it’s easy to see the discomfort that our sons and daughters are experiencing. It’s not easy knowing how to assist. Some of our children will open up; if so, we’re lucky. We need to keep asking questions, but expect those answers to be delivered in parts and pieces.

What can we do to help?

  • Keep an eye open (discreetly), listen (attentively), and remain as present as possible.
  • Maintain our network of informed sources, including siblings and other parents, to let us know if something is seriously awry.

Meanwhile, we hope we’ve given our children the tools to make good judgments, as they deal with an increasingly adult set of issues.

New Context

High school presents a dramatically different environment from middle school or elementary school. Risks abound – sex, alcohol, drugs, violent outbursts. And of course, higher stress; our kids are bombarded with  academic and social pressures, not to mention the challenges of their rapidly changing bodies.

As older siblings learn the ropes, if we’re lucky, they support the younger ones. As my sons have moved through a variety of developmental stages, I’ve watched my elder son leave his brother to make his own mistakes (probably a wise choice, if difficult to see), yet he’s also been protective, stepping in when required.

Empty Nest Is Coming

As my nest is about to be lightened by one, I’m happy to see my younger son asking for more responsibility, initiating discussions about college visits, how to research scholarships, whether or not I’d allow him to get a part-time job if he could find one. He’s asking his brother how certain aspects of the household “infrastructure” works, while reminding me that he isn’t a “little kid” anymore.

His initiative  is showing me that he’s maturing, quickly, and I’ll need to change accordingly. I am watching the torch being passed, as one young man is coming of age, and the other – with the help of his brother – is stepping up for his turn in the spotlight.

 

FacebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinmailFacebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinmail

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: empty nest, parenting teens, raising teens, sibling rivalry, siblings

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

 

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Follow Us

FacebooktwitterrssinstagramFacebooktwitterrssinstagram

Search Daily Plate of Crazy

Subscribe for Your Daily Serving

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Categories

Archives

Recent Comments

  • Anonymous on Does Effort Matter If You Don’t Get Results?
  • D. A. Wolf on Mantras
  • D. A. Wolf on Over 50, Unemployed, Depressed and Powerless
  • Marty on When You Marry a Loner
  • Tina on Would You Brag About Your Age?
  • Sal on Over 50, Unemployed, Depressed and Powerless
  • Open More Doors If You Want More Skills - 3 Plus International on Open More Doors If You Want More Skills
  • Leonora C on Over 50, Unemployed, Depressed and Powerless
  • Maree on Mantras
  • kate on DON’T Call Me Dear!
  • Stephanie on Narcissism. Manipulation. Keeping Score.
  • S on When a Couple Wants Different Things

The Makeover Series

Daily Plate of Crazy: The Makeover Series

Essays From Guest Writers

Daily Plate of Crazy: Essay Series

Daily Reads

Daily Plate of Crazy Blogroll

Follow

Follow

Notices

All content on this site, DailyPlateOfCrazy.com, is copyrighted by D. A. Wolf unless copyright is otherwise attributed to guest writers. Do not use, borrow, repost or create derivative works without permission.

© D. A. Wolf 2009-2025. All Rights Reserved.

Parlez-vous francais?

Daily Plate of Crazy: En Français

© D. A. Wolf 2009-2025
All Rights Reserved

Daily Plate of Crazy ™

Privacy Notice

Popular This Month

  • 50 Years old and Starting Over
  • Best Places to Live When You're Over 50 and Reinventing
  • When the Person You Love Is Emotionally Unavailable
  • When a Couple Wants Different Things
  • How to Comfort Someone Who Is Stressed

Food for Thought

  • Why I Choose to Think Like a Man
  • When You Marry a Loner
  • Emotionally Needy Parents
  • Sex vs. Lovemaking: Why Are We So Confused?
  • Think Looks Don't Pay?
  • Rebranding Mediocrity: Why Good Enough Isn't Good Enough

Copyright © 2025 · Metro Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

This site uses cookies for the best browsing experience. By continuing to use this site, you accept our Cookie Policy.
Cookie SettingsACCEPT
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT