Stilettos in Anchorage. Tequila in Center City. Diets, anywhere.

Stilettos. Tequila. Diets – even the crazy kind.

Recession-proof ideas, he said. My friend who has a friend who has a friend, the venture capitalist. “Give me a great recession-proof idea, and I’ll get you the funding.” Was it legit, or was it really just a line about my bottom line? I was to gather my thoughts, and we’d get together to discuss them, over drinks.

Mulling, mulling, mulling…

Sexy shoes

They won’t go out of style; we just need stilettos on a shoe string. Stiletto sensations. Stiletto sales. Stilettos for $50, in Anchorage. (Found that one on Google!)

CONSIDERATION for independent stiletto marketers: If I’m going to buy “pre-owned” heels, I’d like a little more descriptive information, “provenance,” befitting a work of art, and motivating enough for a long-distance phone call.

Alcohol

Alcohol? Well that’s just common sense. Self-medication. Fortification. It’s practically patriotic. But how to put a twist on the long-running standbys? How to reach new markets? How to get in the game?

Price cutting? Brand boosting? Buy two bottles, get sexy stilettos free?

Diets

Diets never go out of style. Or rather, the desire for women to look and feel good doesn’t, even in frightening economic times. Not in this culture. If anything, looking good becomes more important – using one’s assets to full advantage – to land that job, score that date with the hottie on the train. Or worst case – a sugar daddy, for however long that lasts.

NOTE:  Bethenny of the Real Housewives of New York City is making a killing on her Skinny Girl Margarita. And why not? It’s the best of all three ideas! A curve-conscious bit of alcohol, with a dollop of sex thrown in. I haven’t had one yet, but you can bet when they’re available in my area, I will!

Now let’s come back to sugar daddies. It’s an old-fashioned term. A “Texan-with-a-bourbon-in-his-hand” sort of term.  A bit larger than life. Like politics. So let’s talk politics. The politics of sugar daddies. The politics of sex, gender roles, free trade in tough economic times.

Economic Stimulus Plan?

It may not be the stimulus plan President Obama had in mind, but it is a stimulus plan. Tried and true. And all about stilettos, Tequila, and diets. It’s an age-old war, tug-of-war, “F” word war.

Which “F” word is that?

Another friend of a friend of a friend commented to me, in private: You don’t ever write about politics. I mulled that one, too. But not terribly long. The fact is – I am writing about politics.

• That I might enjoy the company of a man for who he is, regardless of his race? Political.
• Single parenthood and scrapping for every dollar? Political.
• 14-hour work days competing for time with your kids? What’s more political than the future of our children?
• Retaining our human values. Relating to other adults with respect. Clinging to some small measure of self when the world feels like one shit storm after another. Political.
• Our tax dollars wasted on unnecessary public works. Political.
  

Having long fallen through the cracks of the official unemployment statistics – and there are millions of us – political.

Old fashioned exchange

And here’s another REALITY – recognizing that we all trade in favors – sexual, or otherwise – is political reality. And speaking of favors, let’s get back to the “F” word. The “F” word of choice? I have several.

Like alcohol consumption, the sex trade(s) are booming. Are we more sexual in bad economic times? Or just more lonely?

I have my theories. Among them – l’oubli.

It’s a lovely term. French. Don’t you just adore the French? (They’d be a prime market for shoes and alcohol, though they don’t need the diets.) Where was I? Ah yes. L’oubli – ironically, it is the need to forget, to obliterate, to anesthetize – even if only for a few minutes or a few hours. And sex, like alcohol or other drugs, is a way to do that. To lessen the fear or the pain, the sense of isolation.

Feminism

Shall we find another “F” word? What about feminism?

That was unexpected, wasn’t it? And it’s another discussion entirely. And certainly political. What it is, what it was, what it should be, what it could have been. The double-edged sword that is our post feminist age in which men feel they’ve been devalued, and women feel they’re expected to carry too heavy a load. Oh, and still show up in stilettos from time to time.

Weren’t the late 60s and 70s about equal opportunity? About entitling the disenfranchised of every sort? Weren’t those turbulent times of change about expanding choices for everyone?

God, we were young and idealistic. Energetic. Naive.

God, I’m tired.

REFLECTION: Weary shoulders make “absolutes” irrelevant, and all ideas (within reason) – fair game.

So let’s lighten things up again. It’s possible I might like those stilettos in Anchorage – even if I don’t have $50 to spend on them. Fortunately, I have plenty of shoes that would do the trick. As for the Tequila, there’s an old bottle in the kitchen, and somewhere, Russian vodka. The diet? I have my own. It’s the Taxes-went-up-so-cut-$40-per-week-at-Kroger-to-make-the-mortgage Diet.

And the Sugar Daddy Plan?

I think I’ll marry the best of all worlds, like Bethenny with her Skinny Girl Margarita. Whatever “political objections” I would’ve had at 20, I no longer have at 50. The friend of the friend of the friend – the venture capitalist – is about 70 from what I can tell. Who knows, I may be his type. If I lose a few pounds, dig out my Choo’s, and pour him a stiff drink while we get acquainted.