Daily Dish

f Business Team Thumbs Up

The Pros and Cons of Expecting the Best

"Expect the best, plan for the worst." It's an expression I like, especially in business. Yet while I see logic in these words, I don't find them to be motivating counsel. If anything, I'm more likely to be wary of expecting the best. And while that sounds like a negative attitude, as it turns out, it may be anything but. When our expectations are unrealistically high, we set ourselves up for failure or disappointment, and we may bring others along for our downward ride. Then again, when expectations are low, we may find ourselves pleasantly surprised … [Read More...]

Marriage

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Life After Divorce

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f Red Rollercoaster

Learning to Say Yes

By Rudri Patel “Come on, Momma. Please come. Just try it once. I promise I will hold your hand.” My daughter’s voice is high-pitched and her expression is wide-eyed. She's pleading with me to ride on Space Mountain, the scariest rollercoaster in Disneyland. “No, honey. You know I don’t like heights. I get dizzy … [Read More...]

f Mother in Heels Daughter in Heels

In Her Shoes

By Missy Robinson I was impatiently sorting and stacking her tiny shoes. They had been tossed without care into a closet too small to hold them all. I was noticing the lack of order, the lack of care and the general messiness of her space, from fluttering papers pinned and taped on her walls to the too-massive assortment of plush animals … [Read More...]

f Boy With Tablet in Bed

Neatness Counts

By Larry Bernstein I’m a neat freak, and I’m raising an 11-year-old slob. Where did I go wrong? I cringe at the heap that lies on the rug in my son’s room. It includes baseball cards, Lego pieces, balled up underwear, popsicle sticks, and the first 20 pages from a book that was read into oblivion. Add the half-eaten yogurt that’s turned … [Read More...]

f Young Man Shrugging

Differences of (More Than) Opinion

Consider this an intermission in the "makeover" series for something different... to discuss differences... Differences in opinion, in temperament, in personality types -- and how we deal with them. I find it fascinating that family members can be so different from one another. Haven't you observed the differences in siblings … [Read More...]

f Yellow Butterfly

The Butterfly

It wasn't a monarch, but it was a deep shade of yellow with black markings, and graceful as it fluttered in and out of a ragged patch of ground cover. Normally, I wouldn't notice a butterfly, nor give it more than a passing glance. I'm always in too much of a hurry. This morning, in my usual Little White Rabbit habit of rushing, I scurried by … [Read More...]

f Woman in a Bookstore

The Self-Help Aisle

Once, it was simply known as the self-help aisle, a section in your local bookstore where you might find guidance on becoming a more likable person, uncovering your true passion in life, meeting the man (or woman) of your dreams, losing weight and getting fit, or meeting the man of your dreams while losing weight and getting fit. If … [Read More...]

f Clocks Ticking

On Deadline Detail

"I'll give him six more months to pop the question, or it's over." She's approaching her 30th birthday, she has more than three years invested in the relationship and she's giving her guy a deadline. She's raised the issue before -- commit or she's gone -- and now she's doing it in earnest. He has a half a year to make up his mind. As I watch … [Read More...]

f Woman in Red Superwoman Cape

Retiring the Cape

By Tracey Cleantis According to Erik Erikson, the developmental psychologist, at each phase of life we have to reconcile a developmental challenge. In our 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and beyond, we are supposed to be at a stage of generativity (i.e. generosity) versus stagnation. What that means is that we are supposed to be giving back … [Read More...]

f Woman with insomnia

Midlife Makeover: Improving Our Sleep Habits

It isn't solely a problem for women in middle age, and nor is it solely a problem for women. Insomnia, sleep deprivation, and the need to improve sleeping habits are all part of a nationwide dilemma, as you have no doubt read many times. However, adequate sleep is definitely a challenge for women, in particular as we hit midlife. … [Read More...]

f Happy People With Thumbs Up

Happiness: The Perfect Goal?

Who doesn't want to be happy? Who can't get behind happiness as a personal, social and political agenda? Isn't the pursuit of happiness guaranteed to us, with the expectation that we can attain it? I could not let this New York Times opinion piece on the dangers of happiness go unremarked. Let's be honest: We live in a country that … [Read More...]

f Happy African American Couple Snuggling in Bed

Quality Time (for Couples)

I recall years of discussions about quality time in parenting. Personally, I think quality time for couples is a concept that is equally applicable and strangely, ignored. Why do I say this aspect of couple time is ignored? … [Read More...]

f Difference of Opinion at Work

Dealing With Difficult People

Have you ever had dealings with difficult people? Are you someone that others consider difficult or unreasonable? I was catching up with a friend on the phone last evening. She was telling me about her new job. She's weathered work storms before (and had experiences working with difficult people), and she knows … [Read More...]

f Doctor in Hospital Corridor 2

Medical Myopia

Medicine is big business. We know that. Or maybe I should say -- insurance and pharmaceuticals are big business. And both, when it comes to the little guy -- that's you and me -- are very short-sighted. I won't subject you to the play by play, but here is the gist of my latest healthcare system misadventures, and why I'm miffed … [Read More...]

f Marily and Jane Boat Scene_Long Sleeves

Midlife Makeover: 1950s Style for… 50s Style?

Capri pants. Full skirts. Three-quarter length sleeves. Suits cinched at the waist. Ah yes, the Dior waist... Fabulous. These are just a few of the style trends from the 1950s that come to mind, and with them, icons like Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. Speaking of Marilyn and fifties fashions, a few nights back, I happened upon … [Read More...]

f Thoughtful woman in blue sweater

When You Need Alone Time

Are you feeling a need for alone time? Do you like to be alone? Do you attribute it to an independent spirit, or is it something else entirely? Ah, choosing independence and choosing solo time are two different things... but how are they related? … [Read More...]

f Effort vs Results blue bckgrd

Does Effort Matter If You Don’t Get Results?

What's more important -- effort or results? No, this isn't about my (stalled) Non-Diet Diet, though it could be. It isn't about my (foolish?) insistence on 14-hour workdays, though it could be. It is a question we ask ourselves -- or should -- when we consider what we value and what we praise in a variety of contexts. … [Read More...]

f Woman Nagging a Man

How to Stop Nagging

It occurred to me standing at Mr. Coffee this morning. It was one of those light bulb moments: How to stop nagging, why the very word nagging is a loaded term, and how we ought to distinguish the need for reminders from mind games, passive-aggressive behaviors, or defiant responses. We know that true nagging is not effective communication … [Read More...]

f Man concentrating on fitness routine

The Game of Concentration

Concentration? It's critical if we're going to feel like we're doing well at what we set our minds to. We need to concentrate when we read, concentrate when we listen, concentrate on the tennis court or the telephone, at the gym or over the chess board. We certainly ought to concentrate when … [Read More...]

f Spinach and Kiwi Smoothie

Spinach and Kiwi Smoothie Heaven

Anyone for a green smoothie? A little kiwi, a little spinach, a surprise ingredient... Now, we've been known to add raw spinach to almost anything in this household -- very Popeye. But I hadn't considered adding it into my recent disciplined diet quite in this way. However, not only are kiwi and spinach consistent with a summer state of mind, but … [Read More...]