Daily Dish

Upset Couple

On Cheating

Lying to your lover's face - with a straight face. Lying to your husband's face, to your wife's face, to your best friend's face (after you just slept with the love of her life) - without so much as a flicker of hesitation or a trace of guilt. How do we survive relationships in which lying and cheating are the norm? Are we as oblivious to what's taking place as we may seem to be on the surface? Have we become blinded by what we want to believe? Do we shrug and accept what's going on until it's so blatant there's no denying it? You may call it cheating or infidelity. You may … [Read More...]

Cultural Musings

Shouting

Grown Women… Screaming

RHONY. Great clothes. Cool interiors. Pass the ear plugs.

Young Man Thinking

The Easy Way

Is the quick quote the easy way out of real discussion?

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Relationships

Woman in funny feather hat

Are “Classic” Values Now Old Hat? Dare We Reconsider That?

Classic values, still in style? Please and thank you, with a smile?

Woman and Man in Intimate Embrace

Tender Is the Night

The importance of the “softer side” in our relationships and contemporary culture.

Woman hiding half her face

Is Love Blind, Really?

When it comes to love, we may all be blind. Or see more clearly than we think.

Couple in the middle of disagreement

“No Fighting”

“Fighting fair” may have its benefits.

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Most Recent…

f Woman Pressed for Time

Precrastination

Great word, isn't it? Precrastination, as in doing things early, even excessively early. It is the opposite of procrastination, which is postponing until the latest possible moment. Now, I'm all about being fashionably late, but only if that is, in fact, the proper etiquette for the occasion. Otherwise, I prefer being on time and if possible, yes, early. I also love completing assignments of all sorts … [Read More...]

Couple Reading a Map

The Visual Map

It was an annoying tiff over rearranging one of my kitchen cabinets, an irritation that seems to recur biannually as one of my sons (or an intimate) takes it into his head to 'reorganize' me. In addition to the kitchen cabinets, my less than beautiful pantry storage and fridge are also frequently under attack. Naturally, the opinion that accompanies this unwanted assist is positioned as "a better system." But much as I would love designer storage … [Read More...]

Relationship Differences

When a Couple Wants Different Things

"We're in such different places," she says. "You know. We want different things." I'm not sure how to respond to that remark from an old friend, whose frustration is palpable. She doesn't want to end her relationship, only to find a way to alleviate some of the conflict that is arising because what he wants and what she wants are different. At least, for now. "Is there anything I can do?" "Listening helps," she says. … [Read More...]

f Couple Fighting in Front of Daughter

Have Daughters… Will Divorce?

This brief article caught my eye immediately, then caused me to drop my jaw. Apparently, research attempts to predict likelihood of divorce based on the gender of a couple's children. In other words, researchers had previously concluded that when it comes to marriage, men are more likely to stick around if they have sons. Color me confused, perplexed, nonplussed. Fortunately, Psych Central is reporting research that challenges … [Read More...]

f Woman with Questions and Ideas

The Restless Mind

Ah, the summer restlessness - the desire to travel, to explore new locales, to read books; to kick back under a tree on a hammock, or stretched out on a lounge chair overlooking a glorious ocean. Are you more restless in certain seasons? Are your thoughts more likely to wander? Do you corral them and scold yourself, or consider a little restlessness a pleasurable and necessary … [Read More...]

f pomegranates

Minds, Meds, and Magical Thinking

Maybe your latest go-to health food is pomegranates, or pomegranate juice. (Full of antioxidants!) Perhaps you swear by meditation, by herbal remedies, by acupuncture. Are you convinced they add to quality of life and help you come back from injury or illness? Do you eschew more traditional medicine and procedures as a result, or use these alternatives to supplement what physicians recommend? … [Read More...]

f Business Woman Covering her Ears

Are You Sensitive to Noise?

Once upon a time, I loved loud music. (Hello, 1975!) Once upon a time, a houseful of rowdy, screaming teenage boys didn't bother me one whit. (Yup. 2011!) Once upon a time, the noise of a crowd, of a voice overheard on the phone, of routine household sounds - all went unnoticed or were easily tuned out. These days, I find myself acutely aware of the loudness level of a tune on the computer or dishes being put away. That is, until … [Read More...]

Three Attractive Young Women

You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby… But…

Do you think women have come a long way in the past 40 or 50 years? Some days, I think so. I look around and see more women in responsible positions, and we don't give it a second thought. I read about fathers who share parenting and household duties with their wives as if it's perfectly normal - because it is - and I'm encouraged. And then I pick up the newspaper or skim my favorite online venues … [Read More...]

f Woman Protecting her Assets

For Love or Money: Pursuing Your Passion

So which is it - pursue your passion hoping you can succeed, or follow the money motivation instead? Is the question simplistic? As a parent, I advised my children to do what they love if they can - in particular, to explore whatever catches their fancy while they're still young. But I also modeled the necessity of being responsible. In other words … [Read More...]

Store Sign in Intercourse PA

Stealing the Soul

Most of us have heard mention of the belief that a photograph can steal the soul. There are references to Native Americans refusing to have their pictures taken in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, and references to Australian Aborigines as well. I have never confronted this notion in any personal way nor even considered it. At least, not until a few weeks ago. At that time, a stroke of luck yielded an exceptional image of a young man. But not any … [Read More...]

World Cup 2014 Soccer Ball

The Roar of the Crowd

Whoops. Hollers. Screams. All of it coming from the living room sofa, where a middle-aged man and a college kid bounce, cheer, and clap wildly over... you got it... soccer. Yes, the 2014 World Cup. To be specific, the Brazil-Germany match in which the home crowd was sorely disappointed by a 7-1 trouncing. Me? A soccer fan? Personally, I'd rather watch tennis, though … [Read More...]

f Beautiful Confident African American Business Woman

One Step Beyond “No”

I've been a fan of "just say no" for years - for many reasons and many uses. When we cease accepting every challenge, accommodating every request, and feeling pressured to take on more responsibilities than we can possibly perform well, we make space for greater success. The overfilled plate? Even if we don't fail outright, stress runs high, performance falters, and we're likely to disappoint someone - most particularly, ourselves. … [Read More...]

f Checking for Rain

Into Every Life a Little Rain Must Fall

Compact purse umbrellas, small briefcase umbrellas, bankers in bowler hats, strolling with umbrellas... Giant golf umbrellas in big, bold stripes. In the worst case… how about an awning, a canopy, or a ledge beneath which we can catch our breath and find momentary refuge? Who doesn’t desire a measure of protection when we come to understand that … [Read More...]

Woman Can't Sleep

How to Cope With Frustration

Help! I need coping strategies when frustration sends me over the edge! Okay. Not over the edge exactly, but into Land of Ill Temper, Irritation, and Rampant Snapping. For some of us, it's the small frustrations that bring us down: The shelving box says "easy assembly" and the directions are a nightmare; the GPS says turn right and you find yourself miserably lost; traffic is clogged and … [Read More...]

f Fist Through a Wall

No Red, No White, a Little Blue

Red, white and blue. Today is the day for it, don't you think? No red here (though I love the color). No white either. (Too easy to spill, to soil, to stain.) Blue? Make that a yes. Why? It started with a phone call from my kid. My college student. "When's your flight?" I ask. "I have to check," he says. "Wait. You have the ticket, don't you?" Now I'm the one who has to check. Yup. He's right. I page through … [Read More...]

Jurors Report Here

Jury Duty

The jury duty summons. You roll your eyes, you let out a sigh, you wonder why it is that it comes at the worst possible time. Again. If you've never received a jury summons much less served, you could find the experience to be enlightening. Alternately, it might be tedious, as you spend a day sitting and waiting, and eventually being sent home. If you have received a jury duty summons … [Read More...]

f Beautiful Asian Model

A Beautiful Face

Beauty. We all want it. We all chase it. Some of us hope to embody it in a variety of ways - and not just the beautiful face or figure. We are drawn to beauty in each other, however we define it, even as media and the Internet seem to be shifting what that means - or trying. A recent feature in The Atlantic attempts to capture certain cultural nuances in what passes for beauty. … [Read More...]

f Big Bucks

Are the Rich Like the Rest of Us?

Sure, rich or poor, we all put on our pants one leg at a time. Yes, we all need to eat, sleep, and use the bathroom. True, we're all human beings. But are the über-wealthy really like the rest of us? I'm pondering this question as the result of an interview of Melinda Gates that appears in Germany's Spiegel. The reporters pull no punches, and for those of us used to the American press, we might find the pointed questions both admirable and surprising. … [Read More...]

f Medical Team

Privacy Problems With Analytics?

I confess to a love-hate relationship with data. I find facts (not factoids) essential to decision-making, and analytics an intelligent tool. Yet I'm uneasy when I read the ways in which individual privacy continues to be eroded even as, theoretically, some of the blurring of informational boundaries is convenient and even, some might say, in our 'best interest.' Allow me to clarify … [Read More...]

f Woman Reading Newspaper

What Are You Up To?

Everyone enjoys a good game of revelatory questions. The meme (of sorts) has become a pleasurable routine, and I found myself smiling at the quick sketch offered up in The New York Times on renowned glass artist, Dale Chihuly. This week's Download by Kate Murphy gives us the legendary glass artist relating what he's reading, listening to, watching, eating and so on. What about you? … [Read More...]

beautiful African American Woman hand on cheek

Growing in Different Directions… Together

Growing apart? How many times do we use that catch-all phrase to explain the weakening of our relationships and possibly their demise? Sure, we do grow apart as our lives get tangled up in the details of pursuing careers and raising families. So what about growing in different directions? Is that little more than a euphemism for growing apart? Is it possible to grow in different directions while … [Read More...]