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My Son, the Fix-It Man

My elder son's desire to fix things for me is nothing new. For years, my little boy was the "man of the house" -- my Right Hand Guy and my Biggest Cheerleader. He was an inquisitive child with impressive skills; he seemed delighted to put his spatial, mechanical and technology competence to use in the service of his very grateful mother. Some things don't change. Last Christmas morning began with my son's unsolicited vacuuming -- a pleasant surprise -- followed by a slew of other entertainments involving … [Read More...]


Young Man Thinking

The Age of Regret

Regrets? I’ve had a few… Aging is illuminating, and instructive.

The Right Way and the Wrong Way

Just Because It’s Different, Doesn’t Mean It’s Wrong

There isn’t always a right way and a wrong way.

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Work-Life Juggle

Stressed over lack of mindfulness


Mindfulness as Big Business. There’s an oxymoron in there somewhere. Well, a moron for sure.

Daughter straightens father's tie

Mascu-Lean? Men Leaning In, For Women

Men leaning in for women… It’s good business.

Woman in hat with pearl necklace

Efficiency Expert

Just too many hats to wear, or are there smarter ways to approach our tasks?

Bride looking sad

Why People Don’t Marry

This reason to stay single surprised me. What about you?

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Most Recent…

Melancholic Woman

Relationship Limbo

When I was a child, distant cousins on my mother's side served as my earliest example of a married couple living apart. He made his residence in the north; she lived in the south; they led separate lives. Some might consider this an untenable relationship limbo, whereas others find it an agreeable solution, given their circumstances. My reaction at age 20? I found it curious, but basically shrug-worthy … [Read More...]

Newly Married Wedding Rings

Do Married Men Make the Best Employees?

The Marriage Premium. It's a concept whereby married men earn more than their single counterparts. Have you heard of it? Apparently, this phenomenon is still around, and it doesn't apply to married women. Interesting topic, don't you think? To my surprise, I came across articles on the male marriage premium while doing a little research into workers who enjoy … [Read More...]

Group of Children Playing

Childcare Expenses Don’t Stop at Age 5

In this year's State of the Union address, President Obama deemed childcare a "must have" in an economy where, for millions of families, two working parents is a necessity. I would add that this is even more true for millions of single and solo parents, struggling to make ends meet. My children may be raised, but this topic plagued me when my kids were very young (before divorce), and … [Read More...]

African American Businesswoman

Smart Women

I've seen several variations on this recently published research that concerns women and group dynamics. I read about the MIT study in The New York Times, and another elaboration at The Atlantic. The bottom line is this: Groups that include women perform better than groups solely comprised of men. Are we really surprised? While we may be on the receiving end of mean girl behavior … [Read More...]

Woman Worried About Bills

Money, Midlife, and Marital Status

Recently, I got into a bit of a tiff with a male friend over the issue of money and marital status, as I insisted that more women are screwed financially by divorce than the other way around. And the older you get, the tougher it is. As for my friend, although he divorced at midlife, he didn't engage in the usual acrimonious and adversarial battles … [Read More...]

f Confident Smiling Businesswoman

Shifting Focus to the Middle

How often do we allow endings to color the interpretation of an experience? How often do we narrow options by focusing on failure, whether or not it applies, rather than all we have learned before an experience ends? Are women more likely to practice this potentially self-determining bias, especially with regard to their own lives? In pondering the issues of language usage … [Read More...]

Business Meeting

The Talking Tightrope

Talking? She's a vivacious woman and she loves it, but she tends to lay back in a group, holding her tongue when it comes to opinions, which she will generally voice - carefully - when conversing with one other person. She lives the typical talking tightrope that so many women navigate, particularly in organizational life. Certainly, in my experience. She is a friend whose first career was … [Read More...]

f2 Woman Holding Money

An Infinite Exchange

What if currency as we know it ceased to exist? What if our crisp tens and twenties were shredded, our bank accounts emptied, our sources of income suddenly cut off? What if we all returned to a barter system? In responding to an interesting challenge to consider what life might be like without money as we know it, I'm pondering the nature of an exchange of goods or skills … [Read More...]

French Flag

Thoughts on Paris

For anyone with an affection for France and the French, much less freedom of speech, the events of last week remain a horrifying reminder of the violent world in which we live. To ignore the terror attacks that took place in a city I know well and love seems impossible, but I will keep my thoughts and mentions as brief as possible. I am not a political scientist nor a historian; to some extent … [Read More...]

Woman Remembering First Love bw

In Search of the First Love

And then there are our ghosts. I recall the first encounter at LaGuardia, late June, 1987. I recall the first embrace near Golden Gate, the following week. I recall the sound of his voice, with its notes of tin or gravel depending on the hour of the day and how much sleep he had managed. I do not recall the exact moment I fell into his oceanic eyes, and knew I was in love. I recall his thick black hair with … [Read More...]

Julie Christie as Lara bw

First Love: Not What We See in the Movies

By Chloe Jeffreys Our first loves are rarely our lasting loves, but that doesn't stop our inexperienced hearts from throwing all caution to the wind and believing they'll last forever. I knew everlasting first love existed because I'd seen it in movies. What would begin as a strong dislike-at-first-sight would be followed by verbal sparring. Then came the delicious sexual tension, building to … [Read More...]

Robert Johnson album cover bw

On Presence and Learning to Love

By Brian Sorrell Robert Johnson, King of the Delta Blues Singers they called him, only recorded twice before he was poisoned by a jealous man in a Mississippi juke joint in 1938. There wouldn't be rock and roll as we know it if there hadn't been those sessions. First one was San Antonio, 1936. Second was Dallas, 1937. The producers set up temporary studios in hotel rooms or wherever they could … [Read More...]

Brigitte in the Kitchen bw

How the Love of Food Saved My Life

By Brigitte Thériault The first time I felt real love was from my grandma who fed me buttered toast. She made the bread from scratch, buttered the slices, and cooked them on a folded hanger on the stove element. I put myself through a lot to find that love again. The love I couldn’t find through my alcoholic dad. The love I couldn’t find through my mom; she checked out trying to cope with my dad. So I found … [Read More...]

D Stanley the Guys bw

Mourning Your First Love

by David Stanley Leonard: No, no, no, would it help if I told you that I offered her my heart and she kind of stomped on it? Raj: How hard did she stomp? Leonard: Very hard. Raj: Okay, I’m good. First loves. There’s the first kiss in a darkened basement of a boy-girl party in sixth grade. That feels like love. There’s the first real “let’s go do something together as a couple” date. That feels like love, too. … [Read More...]

College Football Player bw

First Love: A Scripted Romance

by Missy Robinson We were drawn together by a circle of mutual friends during a hot, Midwestern summer that I remember as full of energy and wonder: lights, music, and freedom from the usual routine. The impression of unending possibilities creates the perfect stage for young people to become close in a short time. My first experience of love was a wonderful one. Companionship and shared … [Read More...]

Happy Young Woman Smiling at Camera bw

First Love: The Vision

By William Quincy Belle I met her when I was 16 and she was 19. A difference of three years doesn’t mean much now, but then, for me at least, it was the difference between a girl and a woman. She had been married, had a child, and was in the process of getting a divorce. She was a woman and she needed a man. I was 16. I didn’t stand a chance. Two years later, I met her again. I asked her out and … [Read More...]

Young Couple in Love bw

Personal Essays: First Love

With a positive response to 2014's first "first" series of essays, I couldn't resist hosting another selection of writings from a talented group of storytellers. The topic: first love, which is presumably easier to write about than last year's, which was first sexual experience. Then again, I found myself singularly challenged when I set my proverbial pen to picking through my own past; understanding … [Read More...]

Pondering the future

New Year’s Resolutions? Not a One

New Year's resolutions? I don't make them. I haven't in years. They don't work, they set us up for failure, and when we find ourselves NOT sticking to the diet, NOT adhering to the exercise routine, NOT finding more patience for our partners or our kids and so on... we often swing the other way. As for resolutions like lose 10 pounds, read two books a month, exercise five times a week or … [Read More...]

f Trending Topics

Top 12 Trending Topics in 2014

Trending topics in 2014? We can look to our media to tell us what they are, not to mention our favorite social media platforms. Among the more serious issues are the global economy, race relations in the US, the Ebola virus and terrorism, all making our digest of critical challenges. Curious to see what topics were referenced most often on my own pages, I thought it would be interesting to consider … [Read More...]

Happy Middle Aged Couple

Older Men, Younger Women: Men Over 50 Dating Younger

This came up in conversation: How many men over 50 date younger women? I insisted that whatever the stats might show, it would be a large number, and if men had the option, their dating preferences for women 10 or 20 years younger would swell. I attempted to find an answer via The Google, seeking the percentage of men in the US who date ten or more years younger; to my surprise … [Read More...]