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How to Impress a Woman You Love (And Be Sexy Doing It)

To impress a woman you love, set aside the standard schtick we think of as romance. Flowers? A night out? Sure, we eat it up. But the stuff that really makes us grin? That sticks? It's substantive: small gestures that say I see you, I hear you, and a huge factor - the good-natured helping hand. My advice? Bust out the Bounty and lay into the laundry. A man doing housework? Yes, it's made the news recently, but smart women everywhere have long known this formula: Man + Helping = Sex Appeal. … [Read More...]

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Adaptable In Extremis

Blending in with the crowd, taking on approaches of local culture, learning when to speak or keep mum, mastering new software or for that matter, an iPhone. Aren't these examples of routine adaptability? Don't we generally consider it an asset? To read Adam Alter's Times column, "Where We Are Shapes Who We Are," our chameleon-like tendencies are more potent than we give them credit for, extending to environments and their influence on responsible behaviors. … [Read More...]

Mad Men Season 6 Episode 12: The Quality of Mercy (Strained, Strained, Strained)

Mercy, from our disgruntled Mad Men characters? The quality of that mercy? Let's talk self-serving, let's talk survival, let's get real. Episode 12's action moves us into Don swimming in guilt from Sally's discovery, Sally's silence as she processes her father's fall from grace, and Pete taking on Benson - with a twist we don't expect. … [Read More...]

The Dangers of Telling the Truth, by Accident

What if we could read each others' minds... Would we want to - really? What if we were on the receiving end of raw, unfiltered responses from our friends or in the workplace? What if no one couched their criticism in diplomatic terms, or softened blows to the ego behind affectionate teasing or gentle humor? In "I Know What You Think of Me," author Tim Kreider describes receiving an email by mistake, and reading words from a friend never intended for his eyes. … [Read More...]

When Superwoman Takes a Flying Leap

What red-blooded American girl doesn’t step up to a challenge - especially when there’s a costume involved? I'm talking form-fitting, indestructible fabric, and a shade of blue to flatter any complexion. Emblazoned across the chest (of course) is the unmistakable “S” that suits so many of us to the proverbial T. At least, we think the incomparable insignia is there - and to stay. Until one day, we find it's an illusion. … [Read More...]

Sex Twice A Day?

"Sex twice a day," he says. And I pause. I ponder. I wonder if he's bragging, requesting, stating a fact, or trying to get my attention. If it's the latter, he succeeded. How could he not? "I think it's usual," he adds, "or at least desirable." Sex twice a day? Okay, I'll bite. This appears to be an opening gambit. Perhaps it is a negotiation. … [Read More...]

Advice for Dads: Take Good Care of Your Health!

By Andrea Clement Santiago Even after thirty years without him, there are still days when I really wish I had a dad. Over the years there were all the happy milestones I could have shared with my father – such as high school graduation, college graduation, wedding day, holidays, moving into my first home, and more. But the times I most miss having a dad? The tough times. … [Read More...]

Intersection

The traffic wasn’t heavy, but the intersection is dangerous, and pedestrians as well as vehicles are wise to pay attention. I slowed to a stop at the red light, and watched her set foot into the street. I put her at late 70s or possibly 80s, though as she pushed her walker at a surprising clip I wondered if my estimate was off. I was thrown by her speed not only due to the walker, but the severe bend in her body and a lamentably large dowager's hump, her form suggesting the letter C. … [Read More...]

Gender Bender: Joke’s On Me

Paramour. It's a lovely word, don't you think? Démodé perhaps, but it rolls off the tongue and is especially delicious when describing a man whose views are anything but archaic. Then again... Recently I posed the following role-riddle to my paramour, anticipating an immediate (and favorable) response. The joke was on me, as I was slapped upside my idealistic head with the realization - again - of a woman's "place" in the world. … [Read More...]

Mad Men Season 6 Episode 11 Don Scowling

Mad Men Season 6 Episode 11: Favors? That’s One Word For It.

You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. Life is always full of mutually advantageous exchanges, isn't it? And Mad Men’s Episode 11 serves up sexual favors all round - as convenient currency for whatever we think we want or need. Those favors are suggested, flaunted, imagined, delivered – and some turn terribly wrong. Go ask Alice? Nah. Let’s ask Sally, though Don’s daughter may opt for a trip on magic mushrooms after witnessing her father “comforting” Sylvia … [Read More...]

Only Child: Still a Debate?

I wasn't an only child, but I may as well have been. For the most part I was on my own, and my older brother was a source of mixed emotions - and anything but a playmate. At times I would've preferred to be an only child. At others, I daydreamed of a houseful of siblings in part to stamp out the reality of the one I had who, like many and without consequence, would taunt, tease, and torture in the ways that children can - cruelly. I look back and wonder if being an only child … [Read More...]

Childcare From Start to Fin(n)ish?

And here I thought the Finns were known to think outside the box... Indeed they do (in my opinion), though a recent news item makes that claim seem counter-intuitive. Apparently, Finnish babies begin their lives in a cardboard box, when it comes to sleeping that is. Not just any cardboard box, mind you, but a maternity package that is a gift from the government to all expectant mothers. This practice has a long history as a helpful tradition … [Read More...]

When You Marry a Loner

There were no outward signs that I had married a loner. On the contrary. He was gregarious and sociable, preferred to be on the go, and loved engaging with groups of people. It was only after marriage that I understood more fully the nature of the loner - and what I cannot fathom is how long it took me to realize that the same description could be used of me. I'm uncertain if my marriage created that aspect of my personality, heightened what was already present … [Read More...]

Marseille

by Heather Robinson We are lost in Le Panier, Marseille's oldest neighborhood. It is rather infamous too and string-bean adolescent boys with tri-color skins of white, tan and black bray rap to see if we will blanche as we pass. I shuffle in my Prada ballet flats but know from my Manhattan years to look nonplussed. And I am, with Rémi, my strong companion beside me, but I wonder if all of those rumors about this town are true. … [Read More...]

A Matter of “Fit”

We talk about what fits when it comes to our jackets and our jeans, to our neighborhoods and personal style, and to our relationships in the land of love. I think of behavior - the unsolicited opinion offered among friends (without negative consequence) which, if let slip at a formal gathering or a business conference, may not only be unfitting - but potentially damaging. When I hear the word "fit," I also picture dress fittings, and one of my favorite expressions, "if the shoe fits." … [Read More...]

A Woman’s Place…

The New York Times and Fox News. Strange bedfellows when it comes to women's issues. Allow me to clarify, as I excuse myself for being late to this party. I've been busy trying to earn my keep, as I'm one of "them," or more specifically, I have been over the past dozen years. You know. "Them." Those 40% female breadwinners that Pew mentions. Or rather, the 14% of single-mother-divorced households that is revealed in a deeper dive into the data. … [Read More...]

Mad Men Season 6 Episode 10: A Tale of Two Cities; A Clash of Cultures

Playing out against the background of 1968's civil unrest, Mad Men's Episode 10, "A Tale of Two Cities," contrasts elements of a country cleaved and clashing in its sensibilities, its warring generational factions, and likewise in our favorite ad agency with its approach to business and its personal relationships. The Hawks and Doves are pitted one against the other - in the board room at Carnation, in the creative workroom at SCDPCGC, between Don and Megan … [Read More...]

In Good Hands

There have been few occasions to get out of town these past years, though I was thrilled when it was possible - especially if I could escape to Paris for anything related to art or writing. But money was tight, my sons were still young, and the logistics were sticky. I needed a friend to whom I could trust my children, in order to pursue any such opportunities. Leaving those dearest to us in good hands is not a given - without family, without a co-parent, without a partner in the picture. … [Read More...]

Pregnant and Dating… Dirty Dancing?

It was a typical romantic comedy in some respects, despite its odd absence of sexual chemistry. Still, the concept of being pregnant and dating was an amusing premise in "The Back-Up Plan." Far-fetched? I thought so. How many of us encounter hunky Alex O'Loughlin clones, who handily deal with romancing an expectant mom? But apparently, pregnant dating is coming to the small screen, as I note in this reference from NPR. … [Read More...]

Tower Envy?

It’s an odd coincidence; just recently the topic around the dinner table was the tallest building in the world. My son, the architecture student, was insisting that China is planning the world’s tallest tower in what is currently an empty field. To my surprise, this was quickly confirmed: the planned 202-story giant intends to house 30,000 people, include 92 elevators, a hospital, and more, in an erection reminiscent of the Empire State Building. In fact, Dubai lays claim … [Read More...]

Paint By Number

I've never been much for paint by number - not as a child when it was popular, and certainly not for my own children. I prefer the freedom of our mistakes - and our masterpieces; not only coloring outside the lines, but crafting the contours that suit us, which we then fill in. Still, there is value to painting by number - including the importance of following rules and guidelines, enhancing our capacity for organized thinking, not to mention the necessity of numbers … [Read More...]

Think Looks Don’t Pay?

Forget "who gets the guy" - let's talk who has the better salary - the Pretty Woman or the Plain Jane? If you're interested in making a great living, best to get yourself in good shape and clocking in snazzy style. Because apparently, looks pay. Salary.com offers startling statistics when it comes to pay discrepancies based on appearance. I already knew that tall guys rake in bigger bucks than their shorter counterparts, but I was unaware that weight, hair color and looks … [Read More...]

Hanging the Wash in Tightly Wrapped Curlers

I'm hanging the wash out back, hair in curlers, cigar between my teeth though I don't recall when I picked up the habit. I remember the Panthers in Paris, but the hand-rolled Havanas were my dad's thing, not mine. Me? I have other vices. And no intention of abandoning them. * I'm counting the hours until my lover pulls up in his Mustang as the sun sizzles on the back of my neck. "Are you ready?" she calls from somewhere inside, and I realize it's nearly time … [Read More...]

Mad Men Cast Photo Season 5 Betty Francis_January Jones

Mad Men Season 6 Episode 9: The Better Half

Have you ever described the pain of a breakup as a "knife to the gut?" In a deeply satisfying, darkly comedic, and deliciously twisted episode of Mad Men, I'd say Peggy and Abe give new meaning to the expression. "The Better Half" hits a coy and classic high note, and (thankfully) without trolling for drama in Dick's Deep Dark Psyche: Peggy is caught off-guard and stuck squarely in the middle by manipulative men; Joan is playing and being played; Betty is back … [Read More...]

On Provence Time

by Heather Robinson Friends tried to prepare me that I would have to acclimate to what is known as "Provence Time" when I was packing in the steel skies of Paris in exchange for the sapphire shine of the South. "Think of Island Time, then extend it," they would knowingly toss out with a cigarette-dried rattle. I admit, this gave me pause. Paris was laughably languid, delightfully so, in comparison to my previous existence in Manhattan. So Provence would be... even slower … [Read More...]