Daily Dish

f Backstabbing Women

Backstabbing

It hasn't happened to me often. Backstabbing. You know what I mean - the stereotypical behavior of women betraying other women - with gossip, with actions, with trash talk. With whatever they can lay their hands on... short of actual sharp objects. Sure, in high school I remember one instance of a friend absconding with a boyfriend who wasn't a boyfriend at all. The most he was to me at the time was a crush. But she knew it and her actions hurt. In my professional life, I have a distinct memory of a perky, smiling, All American Gal who befriended me, sucked me dry for information, then … [Read More...]

Life After Divorce

Woman Contemplating and Leaning Against Window

On Your Own

Being on your own… Solitude, by choice and by circumstance.

African American Woman on computer

Facing Down Facebook

The downside to our seemingly standard social media maneuvers and checkpoints.

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Cultural Musings

Woman relaxing with magazine

On the Pleasure of the Magazine

For the love of the magazine…

f Pressure Cooker

Pressure Cooker

Are daily pressures pushing you to blow your top?

f Woman Thinking Leaning against glass

Idling

What is NOT doing nothing actually costing us?

b A Little Mystery Goes a Long Way

The Better Part of Valor

TMI. We initiate it, we accept it, we consume it. And it hurts…

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Most Recent…

Crazed by Overscheduling

Overscheduled Children, Overscheduled Adults, Crazed Lifestyle

Help! I'm overscheduled! (Sound familiar?) My kids! They're overscheduled! (How about that one?) I'm losing my grip! I'm crazed! (Do we need a 12-step program?) We know the fine line we walk when we overschedule our children. But what about the impacts on parents? What about those who aren't parents or those at empty nest who are still scheduled to the max and stuck in overwhelm? … [Read More...]

f Bored Business Woman

En Bref

En bref - meaning 'briefly' in French - popped into mind this morning while reading an article on the benefits of brevity. Ironically, the French are rarely brief in their elaboration on any subject. In fact, 'en bref' signals (at last!) the approach of a final point. For me, that's when I begin to pay attention. As I ponder my own run-on sentences, my jam-packed days that compromise my ability to get to the point, and my inevitable confusion - like yours? … [Read More...]

f Confused Man

Confused About Confusion?

Confused about relationships. Confused at work. Convinced that those with the gift of gab have more figured out than we do. What if they're just as befuddled as the rest of us? What if confusion is wound into our everyday lives? Is it helpful if we can view it differently? What if we acknowledge that confusion is a natural response to too many inputs to process, too little time to sort them out, not to mention … [Read More...]

Woman With Seduction in Mind

Using an Ex to Make Your Man Jealous?

Color me content when my ex, an old boyfriend - the old boyfriend - dropped in. Was my husband jealous? Did I want him to be? This was about five years into the marriage, and while life wasn't idyllic, I was caught up in the pleasurable haze of being part of a couple, having a home of my own, two beautiful baby boys, and the sense that I had somehow, despite the odds... 'made it.' … [Read More...]

Upset Couple

On Cheating

Lying to your lover's face - with a straight face. Lying to your husband's face, to your wife's face, to your best friend's face (after you just slept with the love of her life) - without so much as a flicker of hesitation or a trace of guilt. How do we survive relationships in which lying and cheating are the norm? Are we as oblivious to what's taking place as we may appear on the surface? Have we become blinded by what we want to believe? … [Read More...]

f Woman Pressed for Time

Precrastination

Great word, isn't it? Precrastination, as in doing things early, even excessively early. It is the opposite of procrastination, which is postponing until the latest possible moment. Now, I'm all about being fashionably late, but only if that is, in fact, the proper etiquette for the occasion. Otherwise, I prefer being on time and if possible, yes, early. I also love completing assignments of all sorts … [Read More...]

Couple Reading a Map

The Visual Map

It was an annoying tiff over rearranging one of my kitchen cabinets, an irritation that seems to recur biannually as one of my sons (or an intimate) takes it into his head to 'reorganize' me. In addition to the kitchen cabinets, my less than beautiful pantry storage and fridge are also frequently under attack. Naturally, the opinion that accompanies this unwanted assist is positioned as "a better system." But much as I would love designer storage … [Read More...]

Relationship Differences

When a Couple Wants Different Things

"We're in such different places," she says. "You know. We want different things." I'm not sure how to respond to that remark from an old friend, whose frustration is palpable. She doesn't want to end her relationship, only to find a way to alleviate some of the conflict that is arising because what he wants and what she wants are different. At least, for now. "Is there anything I can do?" "Listening helps," she says. … [Read More...]

f Couple Fighting in Front of Daughter

Have Daughters… Will Divorce?

This brief article caught my eye immediately, then caused me to drop my jaw. Apparently, research attempts to predict likelihood of divorce based on the gender of a couple's children. In other words, researchers had previously concluded that when it comes to marriage, men are more likely to stick around if they have sons. Color me confused, perplexed, nonplussed. Fortunately, Psych Central is reporting research that challenges … [Read More...]

f Woman with Questions and Ideas

The Restless Mind

Ah, the summer restlessness - the desire to travel, to explore new locales, to read books; to kick back under a tree on a hammock, or stretched out on a lounge chair overlooking a glorious ocean. Are you more restless in certain seasons? Are your thoughts more likely to wander? Do you corral them and scold yourself, or consider a little restlessness a pleasurable and necessary … [Read More...]

f pomegranates

Minds, Meds, and Magical Thinking

Maybe your latest go-to health food is pomegranates, or pomegranate juice. (Full of antioxidants!) Perhaps you swear by meditation, by herbal remedies, by acupuncture. Are you convinced they add to quality of life and help you come back from injury or illness? Do you eschew more traditional medicine and procedures as a result, or use these alternatives to supplement what physicians recommend? … [Read More...]

f Business Woman Covering her Ears

Are You Sensitive to Noise?

Once upon a time, I loved loud music. (Hello, 1975!) Once upon a time, a houseful of rowdy, screaming teenage boys didn't bother me one whit. (Yup. 2011!) Once upon a time, the noise of a crowd, of a voice overheard on the phone, of routine household sounds - all went unnoticed or were easily tuned out. These days, I find myself acutely aware of the loudness level of a tune on the computer or … [Read More...]

Three Attractive Young Women

You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby… But…

Do you think women have come a long way in the past 40 or 50 years? Some days, I think so. I look around and see more women in responsible positions, and we don't give it a second thought. I read about fathers who share parenting and household duties with their wives as if it's perfectly normal - because it is - and I'm encouraged. And then I pick up the newspaper or skim my favorite online venues … [Read More...]

f Woman Protecting her Assets

For Love or Money: Pursuing Your Passion

So which is it - pursue your passion hoping you can succeed, or follow the money motivation instead? Is the question simplistic? As a parent, I advised my children to do what they love if they can - in particular, to explore whatever catches their fancy while they're still young. But I also modeled the necessity of being responsible. In other words … [Read More...]

Store Sign in Intercourse PA

Stealing the Soul

Most of us have heard mention of the belief that a photograph can steal the soul. There are references to Native Americans refusing to have their pictures taken in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, and references to Australian Aborigines as well. I have never confronted this notion in any personal way nor even considered it. At least, not until a few weeks ago. At that time, a stroke of luck yielded an exceptional image of a young man. But not any … [Read More...]

World Cup 2014 Soccer Ball

The Roar of the Crowd

Whoops. Hollers. Screams. All of it coming from the living room sofa, where a middle-aged man and a college kid bounce, cheer, and clap wildly over... you got it... soccer. Yes, the 2014 World Cup. To be specific, the Brazil-Germany match in which the home crowd was sorely disappointed by a 7-1 trouncing. Me? A soccer fan? Personally, I'd rather watch tennis, though … [Read More...]

f Beautiful Confident African American Business Woman

One Step Beyond “No”

I've been a fan of "just say no" for years - for many reasons and many uses. When we cease accepting every challenge, accommodating every request, and feeling pressured to take on more responsibilities than we can possibly perform well, we make space for greater success. The overfilled plate? Even if we don't fail outright, stress runs high, performance falters, and we're likely to … [Read More...]

f Checking for Rain

Into Every Life a Little Rain Must Fall

Compact purse umbrellas, small briefcase umbrellas, bankers in bowler hats, strolling with umbrellas... Giant golf umbrellas in big, bold stripes. In the worst case… how about an awning, a canopy, or a ledge beneath which we can catch our breath and find momentary refuge? Who doesn’t desire a measure of protection when we come to understand that … [Read More...]

Woman Can't Sleep

How to Cope With Frustration

Help! I need coping strategies when frustration sends me over the edge! Okay. Not over the edge exactly, but into Land of Ill Temper, Irritation, and Rampant Snapping. For some of us, it's the small frustrations that bring us down: The shelving box says "easy assembly" and the directions are a nightmare; the GPS says turn right and you find yourself miserably lost; traffic is clogged and … [Read More...]