Best Places to Live When You’re Over 50

2014 Update to Best Places to Live, here.

Two years back, I did a little research on the best places to live if you’re starting out – or starting over. I covered various ages and stages. But what if you’re at midlife, 50 or older? What if you’re in full-blown “reinvention” mode?

Let’s face it, many of us are in the “starting over” category, and more than once. We don’t necessarily have buckets of cash at our disposal or a partner ready to share and support our adventures. You could say that starting out at 22 or 25 puts you squarely in the same situation, but there’s a significant difference – life is generally all about you.

And that’s as is it should be – you’re young, strong, flying the nest or finishing college. You may be plenty scared but you’re taking off all the same, about to gain experience and discover what works for you.

And, as the saying goes, “you have your whole life ahead of you.” It’s frightening – and thrilling!

Starting over after age 50 offers its own set of considerations – advantages, yes – and realistically, constraints.

It’s not better or worse, but it’s certainly different. It’s about letting go as much as diving in. It’s more than relocation; it’s the best part of reinvention – rediscovering yourself.

Why Start Over at 50 or 60?

So why are people starting over at 50 or 55 or 60?

  • You might find yourself “free” and somewhat aimless, starting over after a marriage ends. We all know that Gray Divorce is increasingly prevalent, and widowhood may strike at any time.
  • Your kids may have moved on with their lives – and single or partnered – you long for something new, without necessarily crossing a continent or an ocean to see your children, or possibly grandchildren.
  • You may be starting over in a career or job – no longer unusual at midlife. But you will be competing with those younger than yourself, and you want to locate to a market with appropriate opportunities.
  • Whatever the reason for starting over, with your additional wisdom often comes aches and pains, the expense of doctors or medications, the need for a certain climate and also, affordability and accessibility to what you need for physical health.
  • You may be willing to admit that while you’ve always wanted to live on the West Coast or the East Coast – or London or Paris – you have less energy or emotional resilience than you had 25 years earlier. Or even five years earlier!

I’ve been surprised at how often my two-year old research continues to provide some sort of service. Recently, one or two Empty Nesters have popped by to read, so I thought I would update those findings specifically for the 50+ crowd, pull together whatever I could find on the web, and add a few thoughts of my own.

I’m no longer contemplating Empty Nest. I’m there.

Unsettled at Empty Nest

Facing those “starting over” questions is tough at any age and in all sorts of circumstances. If you’re married, you have two individuals to consider – most likely two jobs, two sets of preferences in what you envision as the next chapter, and ideally you also have someone with whom to share the stresses of any relocation.

It’s less frightening to start over when you’re not alone.

But it’s still frightening!

Single at Empty Nest?

It’s another ballgame. Theoretically, you have only yourself to depend on financially, but also only yourself to please when it comes to the future. At least, that’s what we think a few years earlier. Let me say, it doesn’t necessarily work out that way in reality.

In fact, a recent comment on “Starting Out and Starting Over” states:

I’m… struggling to feel comfortable with this next life chapter without my children… I feel so unsettled and torn.

Adding to this Empty Nester’s understandable indecision?

Young adult children spread across the US, and a strong desire to live her own life more fully, having survived a bout of cancer.

Resources on Starting Over After 50

Speaking purely of the women I know, we seem to carry the familial care-taking role with us well beyond our active care-taking years. Ceasing to do so – even provisionally – is a challenge. We find ourselves seeking compromise scenarios in which we gain additional measures of whatever we want for ourselves, without feeling as though we’re straining critical connections to those we love.

We hope to settle on reasonable geographic access to family if at all possible. For them, as well as for us.

So where do we pluck our possible locations from? If we know what the considerations are, how do we choose a place to start over while hedging our bets?

  • AARP provides a nice summary of options on Starting Over After 50. It offers its Top 10 Places to Live on $100/Day including Spokane (WA), San Antonio (TX), Roanoke (VA), and Pittsburgh (PA).

Might I also suggest that if you’re searching for potential partners, you find demographic data on available men or women in your age range? Google, for example, “Best Places for Meeting Single Men Over 50.” You get the idea.

But keep in mind that you should be focusing on this next chapter in your life – not just a year or two. Think big, or at least, “bigger.” Reinvention may be an overused term, but it’s appropriate for millions of us. This Huff Post piece, hot off the online press, mentions an upcoming PBS Special focused on exactly that!

What’s Next?

I may have mused on what’s next for Hillary Clinton not long ago (and had some fun doing it), and we may have to wait a bit to see what’s next for her in 2016. Hillary aside, most of us are not flush with funds and, simply put, a “misstep” made at 50 or 60 provides less recovery time than the same experience at 30 or 40 – financially as well as emotionally.

When you’re considering how far and wide to cast your net for potential relocation, I would certainly factor in your:

  • Propensity for risk and your ability to be flexible
  • Financial situation (not just now, but 5 years out, 10 years out, etc. – run the numbers!)
  • Comfort with travel (if children and grandchildren will be far away)
  • Need to make friends quickly; how sociable you are
  • Romantic interests (looking to date?)
  • Career / profession – whether newly starting or taking it on the road
  • Health / medical needs – not just today, but in 5 or more years’ time
  • Ability to change your mind – financially and logistically
  • Possibilities of a trial period in the proposed location if possible
  • Ability to view the new location and life as one where you can see yourself older (10+ years? 20 years?)

Gather Suggestions and Input

Suggestions for how to gather data of your own – that is tailored to you?

Do you belong to any Facebook groups in which members live in the areas you’re considering? Can you ask for input?

Perhaps you have friends or relatives you can stay with for a few weeks, as a sort of trial period without making a major move.

Have you asked your children how they feel about you’re relocating? Have you factored in travel logistics and expenses, or the extent to which you will tolerate living at a distance from family?

Are there others you can tap for their counsel?

Do you know what you’re good at? What interests you? Where can you pursue what you’d like to learn or try your hand at?

Using myself as an example, both my sons are in college. One will be in the Northeast for another few years and the other, in a matter of months, could be almost anywhere including either coast or Europe.

As to how I make my living, theoretically, a writer or consultant can work remotely anywhere I have reliable Internet. Then again, there’s the issue of proximity to service providers I’ve known for years, existing relationships (and all their complexities), not to mention the comfort of what is familiar – especially important (in my opinion) when you’re single and female.

Yes, I’ve made some assumptions in that statement. They apply to me; they may not apply to you. And I might also say that Paris is familiar!

Starting Over After 50 and Single

The woman who commented recently has specific questions. She is ahead of the game because she knows generally what she’s looking for, and she’s soliciting input and feedback. She’s in her 50s, and it sounds like she’s single.

She writes:

I want a friendly town and smart. Spiritual but authentic. A place with a lot to do but not a lot of neighborhood noise at night. No humidity. No cold. I’m thinking of Silver Lake, CA or Santa Monica.

These aren’t places I’m familiar with.

Any readers who are? Any real world input to provide? Any alternative suggestions?

I could say the same myself; while I’ve lived in Paris and loved it, I’m not sure I want to be an ocean away from my sons at this time. I’m not 100% convinced I could remake my life overseas, though that doesn’t mean I’ve dispensed with that idea; like this reader, I find myself feeling unsettled and torn.

  • So for now, do we have input on Silver Lake and Santa Monica?
  • Other suggestions for locations that are warm, friendly, authentic, and things to do?
  • And if you have some, any details on the social life and the cost of living?
  • Have you relocated at 50+ or are you considering doing so?
  • What are you learning from that experience?
  • Who else is dreaming of Paris or some other far-off locale, at least for a few weeks to soak up all it has to offer?
  • How are you managing to balance being realistic with a desire for something new?


Images, BigStockPhoto.

Image of Paris Rooftops, Yours Truly.

 

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Comments

  1. says

    I subscribe to Intentional Communities, don’t often check the many emails I get but at first was interested. You can find lots of information about living communes/communities of like minded people all around the US and abroad. Very organized! Not too sure I’m going to go that route. I feel I’d give a lot of my independence away. However, I think it would be great to have an immediate social network.

    Regarding Ashland, OR. I’ve thought about moving back to my home state, growing up there, living close enough to the ocean to make a day trip, makes me kind of homesick. Ashland is a liberal/conservative town. Lots of small businesses, outdoorsy, beautiful country. Not much diversity though. Oregon is pretty much a one color state imo. Medford is the largest town about 30 miles from Ashland. Very hot temps in the summer in Medford, not as bad in Ashland. I could have skewed memories since I haven’t been to those places in over 30 years. You can count on Ashland as being more expensive than typical communities to live in. If you want to live in a tent or mobile home near the area, I’m sure you’ll find your place.
    Erin recently posted…Wandering Through the Forest (With Heather)My Profile

  2. says

    There are few ways to deal with the empty nest depression and most of them include – do what you want! My parents had such a hard time after me and my brother moved out and the first year they were really depressed. Especially my mother… Now they are fine.. they moved to a nice village in the countryside and they are doing great! They started to travel and I feel much better for them now! :)

  3. Lyndi C says

    Addressing the question of Santa Monica and/or Silver Lake, I can offer some insight. Both are grood places to live, as the weather is great, they’re close to anything related to the arts, education, entertainment and social groups of all types. Santa Monica places you at the ocean, Silver Lake puts you inward, closer to the mountains and Pasadena (home of the Norton Simon museum and Rose Parade) and a bit warmer in the summer. As a native SoCal gal, at 62 I’m looking to leave the State… or at least the area. The population is extremely crowded, its expensive and I really believe it will continue to get worse. Cultural diversity is also interesting and while it provides the opportunity to spend time in many world experiences it can sometimes feel forced. My best advice is… its a great place to visit, but if you’re looking to get away from the noise, this isn’t it. :-) It’s big city all the way.

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