Feisty, Flirty, and Fifty (Something)

So here’s the dilemma.

When you admit to your age (and you’re no longer a spring chicken), you put yourself at a disadvantage – in the job market.

When you admit to your age and you’ve hit the half century mark, you put yourself at a disadvantage – in the dating market.

Women in particular feel compelled to lie, especially if we’re dipping a toe into online waters. So what do we do – tell the truth or lie?

What do you do?

As for yours truly, I’m admitting to 50-something. In the professional arena, I’m coming to grips with the fact that “regular” employment may be unlikely; the 30-somethings will surely be hired before the 40-somethings and the 50+ crowd may be in the weeds. In the personal arena – real life has proved to be intriguing.

Isn’t that all the more reason for a “never say die” attitude? All the more reason to stay open and energetic – if we can and as long as we can?

Never Say Never

So here’s to my newest mantra – as I declare myself feisty, flirty, and fifty (something), unwilling to stay quiet, and unwilling to give up – anything!

  • I’m a midlife mama, but I’m no one’s matron!
  • I own the tales and trials to go with my miles.
  • I’ve shed my tears and I’ve earned my wisdom.
  • Likewise, my laugh lines – and they’re here to stay.
  • I will continue to dare new ventures, and set new goals.

Midlife Mix-Master?

I concede that midlife can seem dismally daunting. There’s that employer prejudice for one thing, the blind ageism for another, and naturally – the ache here, the creak there… and that’s if we’re lucky.

There were long periods when I never thought I’d survive solo parenthood. Happily, I was wrong. Not only did I make it through – with the help of friends as well as strangers – but I learned more from my two young men than I could ever begin to say.

50-something doesn’t mean our mother’s midlife. Of course there are changes – both worries as well as options. Is it really so different from any other stage in life?

Midlife Challenges

As for the job market, it is what it is. Millions of us are struggling, and we need to speak out, to network any way that we can, to keep our creative minds open, and our entrepreneurial spirits dancing outside the borders of the proverbial box.

We also need to say yes to extending a hand, yes to networking, yes to exploring new avenues. When one door closes (as they say), another one opens.

These days, when someone tells me no – it can’t be done?

I tell myself – yes, it most certainly can.

Yes to Romance, Yes to Giving

In fact, I’m a believer in the theory of “yes” – yes to getting out and meeting everyone, and in particular when it comes to romance. I’m a believer in yes to small steps forward, yes to online dating if it works for you, yes to introductions via others, and yes to taking a chance when it comes to your heart, to trusting what you feel, and to trusting what you hear.

And surprise, surprise – I am 50-something and find myself in a delicious relationship, and with a gentleman of my own age. Who would have thought?

As you embark on your holiday, say yes to giving as well as giving thanks. Say yes to who you are, with plenty of room to grow. As for the problems? Don’t sweat it. They’ll find you.

But for the holidays?

Appreciate. Celebrate. Take a moment to savor.

© D A Wolf



  1. says

    We are smiling Very Broadly at your delicious revelations of a desirous and delectable delight of a new love.


    Sending tons of best wishes across the interweb from the Other Coast.

    _tg xx

  2. says

    A friend just celebrated her 49th birthday the second time around, but me, I’m out there with the proclamation of 50. It could be that people tell me I look like I’m 35 that makes me feel less mature. But you know, I have lived fifty years worth of life and that’s what makes me feel good about my age–and myself.

  3. says

    Getting old sucks and it seems it’s a true adage: youth is wasted on the young. However, I am very much reminded that due to mixed communication or just plain misinformation, everybody is running around thinking they know what the next person wants without ever finding out what’s what. When I was 30, I met a 43 year old cougar. She was smart, financially independent, confident, French (Québécoise) and experienced, oh how she was experienced. Yes, the young may be firm, not sagging and unblemished but youth could not hold a candle to her. (We were together for nearly 10 years.)

    You are 50 (something). You have all of those same characteristics. It isn’t what you’ve got; it’s how you use it. Je ne vous connais pas très bien ma chère Mademoiselle Loup, mais j’ai l’idée que vous, une femme expérimentée, valez plus que deux filles âgées de vingt-cinq ans.

    Gettin’ old, man boobs and Vladimir Putin

    • BigLittleWolf says

      Je vaux deux femmes de 25 ans? Que vous me faites rire, William! Délicieux.

      Getting old may suck (in some ways), but getting older sure beats the alternative! (I admit, I’m still searching out that lower gravity planet..) 😉

  4. says

    I admit to my age every day if someone asks or even if they don’t as I am thrilled that everyone says you have so much more energy than and I and I am so much younger than you. Also, I look young for a 40 and 38 year old son. That is a good gene pool.

    • BigLittleWolf says

      I admire your attitude, Madge. But ageism still exists in a big way. We ought to encounter each other fully, without concern as to age – especially when dealing with employment-related or professional opportunities, and I would also say relative to romantic partners (unless there are issues of bearing children).

      The problem is – we don’t. Discrimination happens all the time, the minute someone knows your age if you are “of a certain age.” And we need to fight it. In my opinion, the livelihood of women and families depends on us doing exactly that.

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