Comments on: Who are you? What are you?

By: TheKitchenWitch

TheKitchenWitch — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 13:59:19 +0000

Thank Goodness nobody feels like they know who they are, either!!!! I’m 40 and still have very vague ideas.

By: becca

becca — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 12:54:39 +0000

My biggest internal struggle lately is “who I am”. There was the me in my past that I was proudest of On Paper. An MBA, a senior manager at a prestigious company, blah blah. There is the me today that I tend to be uncomfortable with because I’m neither here nor there. As much as I love being a mom I tend to respond to people’s question of “what do you do” with reservation. “I’m at home with my kids – For Now” is my response. For now? Am I looking for a job? What is it that I want to do? I add the “For Now” because I think it gives me more credibility. How sad. And when I hear people ask my husband what his wife does, I hear his hesitation as well. “She’s with the kids but consulting a bit too.” No I’m not. I’m not consulting. I haven’t consulted for a year. I guess he wants “more” for me too.

I am with you 100% that I am what I do but with edits depending on who I’m speaking to. I am H and L’s mom. it’s how I see myself and describe myself and how I spend my days. It’s my identity. But I know, and those close to me also know, I’m so much more, but it’s not always apparent on the surface.

I loved this post. Something that I think about All The Time.

By: Nicki

Nicki — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 11:23:59 +0000

I told some new people I met back in October – I had been in a new gig for about a month – that I was a freelance writer. That truly sparked some interesting conversation. I was amazed. At that time, I also did some political consulting and mentioned that later in the conversation. I think the writer is more what I identify with, though I am a political junkie.

Just an aside, the redirect worked flawlessly today!

By: Privilege of Parenting

Privilege of Parenting — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 06:06:23 +0000

“When you tell grown-ups that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you, “What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies?” Instead, they demand: “How old is he? How many brothers has he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make?” Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him.

“The proof that the little prince existed is that he was charming, that he laughed, and that he was looking for a sheep. If anybody wants a sheep, that is a proof that he exists.” And what good would it do to tell them that? They would shrug their shoulders, and treat you like a child. But if you said to them: “The planet he came from is Asteroid B-612,” then they would be convinced, and leave you in peace from their questions.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince

By: Cathy

Cathy — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:07:24 +0000

Who I am transitions from day to day. At times moment to moment. I’m a writer, mother, friend, sister and daughter…all of which require me to be who I need to be for each role.

At heart I’m a woman. One who lives inside her head and her heart. And loves discovering over and over again who I am.

Congrats on getting the domain set up!

By: Ambrosia

Ambrosia — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 22:05:36 +0000

You are a writer and a mommy. Two, as you mentioned, undervalued occupations. We have exchanged e-mails about this before, yet I still wanted to share something.

While writers and mommies do not have dollar signs accompanying their job description (unless you are JK Rowling), they have value in other ways. You have the power to influence what your sons make of themselves. You have the power to write a work will make others think and -perhaps- change their own faulty reasoning.

As for me, I am a mother. A mother who enjoys writing. A mother who continues to educate herself. In some ways, I am defined by being my husband’s wife, or my daughter’s mother. Yet, once I get to know people on a deeper level, these identifications dissolve. I become me. Whoever that is (a discovery yet to be made). Identity theorists contend our identity shifts and changes through the years. That is me.

I am often reassessing myself. I think this is an important process.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 19:32:14 +0000

BLW –

As you know from reading some of my posts, I have a kind of evolving, sometimes conflicted relationship with the online world (although my professional writing gets posted “here”) and the world of blogging in general (although I never shut up).

I just started, with some other gal pals, a non-virtual support group for some of us who need a little motivation to kick it up one step higher in our careers.

But it seems that a lot of your writing life is online right now.

So I guess I’d like to gently ask, since you have so many fans who really love your work and since you are clearly comfortable online — how can “we” help in your job search? Does anyone who reads you have a non-virtual network in your geographical area? Maybe we could try to put this virtual power to work for you?

By: dadshouse

dadshouse — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:40:31 +0000

I never ask people what they do. I ask how they spend their days. It’s funny – most don’t know how to answer. “Um, you mean at work? Or what?” Answer however you like.

We are more than that which we do.

By: Mindy/Single Mom Says...

Mindy/Single Mom Says... — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:24:23 +0000

I can relate to your words here on many levels. Like you, I wish I got paid for all that I do and am but instead I watch other people get paid large salaries for being a$$holes. Just goes to show that salary does not equate value or worth.

I wish you luck with your move and will of course, follow.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:12:52 +0000

Like you, and like Aidan, I see the process of writing as one of discovering and establishing self. Before I started to write with a purpose a few months ago, I would have answered your question, “Who are you?” with some jumbled reply about my kids and husband. But now I am starting to give some more credit to myself, starting to remember that I am a Me in spite of (and enhanced by) those other roles.

I still don’t have a great answer (“I’m a skeptical optimist” doesn’t quite roll off the tongue…), but I feel like I’m getting there.